What do you do when a sibling has horrible hygiene?

Question

he has a mental illness but is still coherent and can make his own decisions. He doesn't shower for weeks at a time and has other bad hygiene practices. BTW, I'm 17 and he's 19. My dad also doesn't like it when I say anything about it. He smells like a homeless person and I can't take living with somebody like that. What am I supposed to do?

Answer 1

Your dad should really be getting involved in this situation.  It's his job as a parent.  

Maybe you could bribe your brother to take a shower.  Buy one of whatever his favorite thing is (a snack, a book, a comic, whatever) and tell him he can have it if he showers.

Then praise him when he does it and make the whole thing positive, because it seems like complaining about him has only made him more stubborn.  I know he's not a little kid, but he's sort of behaving like one.  

Does your brother take any medication for his mental illness?  He might need something in order to help him function like a more normal person.

If nothing you try works, then I would just move out as soon as I was old enough.

Answer 2

depending on his mental age, use either the good boy/bad boy approach, or reinforcements for good behavior. when he is clean praise him for it and do something special together. if he is not clean scold him or show disgust in some way and avoid doing anything he wants. the idea is if he likes to please you then he will try to be clean.

secondly you can praise him when he bathes and changes his clothes, reserving some special activity for those times.

yr bro needs structure there should be a set time each day for him to crush his teeth, to bathe or shower, to get up, to go to bed, etc. if routine is observed strictly it makes his life so much easier because people with low IQ cannot adapt to changes easily.

Answer 3

I agree I think you should encourage him to shower. You may want to talk to you dad about it. It sounds like he doesn't want to deal with it, but its disgusting and unsanitary for the rest of you. If you approach you father in a mature manor then maybe he will listen to what you have to say.

Answer 4

He is older than you, but I will bet that he looks up to you. Make it a game and he will want to play. You take a shower and when you come out get some unders on (for modesty). Have him see you put on your deodorant under your arms, get your cologne and put that on and let him use some. I suggest that you don't use your most expensive stuff. Then get dressed in your normal clothes, something similar to the kinds that he wears.

You are setting an example. Let him know that he smells good and maybe get him to WANT to take a shower and get smelling good. Hey, it could work.

The Best M_A

Answer 5

if he is aprochable tell him how much better he looks when he cleans up and dresses nice

Answer 6

Buy him deodrant for his birthday

Answer 7

tell them.... for example my little sister is right here and reading this and i am letting her know by explaning to you that she smells like the gunk between bigfoots toes....

Answer 8

how about you just encourage him to take more showers.

for example tell him in a nice way , that way he wont get

offended nor your parents will get mad at you for telling

him to take a shower. say well how about before we go

out or watch some tv  we each take a shower and

then we go get a snack together (something along

those lines).

Answer 9

If he is still coherent,etc., then why not talk to him about it, in a loving, brotherly way?  (If you are doing it in a purely constructive way, and ONLY meaning to help, I don't see why your dad would have a problem with that.)  Perhaps start by doing an activity that both of you like, and having a quality conversation prior.  Then segue into it.  Be kind about it.  Some possible questions are:  is there a reason you don't use the shower very much?  If it's because it scares him (just an example), what scares you about it?  If it's because he doesn't like the feel of it, are there different settings on the shower head? or, what about a bath instead?

Once you have his answer on "why", work together to find a solution.  If he's scared, has he tried locking the door, so no "villains" can get in? Or, you could offer to sit outside the bathroom door so no "villains" can get in.  Just be supportive.  Whatever the reason is, work together for a solution.

(By the way, the reason I use the "scared" example, scarey movies used to really have an effect on me, and even though I would bathe, I was terrified in the process.  Knowing someone I trusted was near eased that fear.)

Is he attracted to girls?  If so, you could use that as reasoning and motive to have better hygiene practices.

Odds are, I haven't hit on exact reasons with my examples.  However, I hope it gives an idea of how to go about the conversation.

Answer 10

You mentioned he has mental illness but coherent. You can talk to him in a brotherly manner you are concern about his well being. Or try this "There's a new product and it smells good, I have tried it and it works. I can give it to you so both of us can use it". Helping your brother will make him feel he is loved and cared about.

Answer 11

I would try to encourage him to take care of his hygiene. Tell if he wants girlfriends or boyfriend depending on his orientation that people are turned off by body odor. Don't nag him just tell him he needs to take a bath just like everybody else does. Tell him it shows he lacks self respect to go around smelling terrible.