What do you do when someone invites themselves on a group outting when you really don't want them to go?

Question

A group of gals I work with and I have planned a two day mini trip in the mountains rafting on a scenic, but lazy little river. I was so excited about the trip until a mutual co-worker of ours found out about our trip and has invited herself along. She is very high maintenance and hates the outdoors! I just have this feeling if she comes it will be an all out whine-fest about the heat, the water, the bugs and our get-away-from-it-all break will be a let-it-be-all-about-me drama! Any suggestions on how to save our trip & tell her no without causing a big stink at work?

Answer 1

It may be fun explain to her it will be a weekend of getting dirty and sleeping outside etc.  Let her know upfront it is for tough girls only.  She may surprise you.

Answer 2

How much about the trip does she know about?  Can you tell her that there isn't any more room on the raft or in the carpool?  Or conveniently keep forgetting to tell her where you all plan to meet.  Hopefully your friends will back you up on all this.

Answer 3

It has to be a group decision.  If the group agrees with you, a valid excuse would be it's too late to change plans.  There is only so much space in the car, on the plane, on the rafts, at the inn (if there's one involved), and etc.  If any paid reservations are involved, the deadlines have passed.  If she whines and demands to know why no one invited her in the first place, just say everyone thought she hated the outdoors and did not want to put pressure on her.

If, after you've exhausted all the polite excuses, she still causes a big stink, LET HER.

Answer 4

say that there's really not enough room for another person. say you can't fit all the camping equipment for 3 people in one campsite and there's no more room. lie if you have to.

Answer 5

just be frank.

it's better than lying.

Answer 6

Protect yourself. Tell her she can't go.

Answer 7

First you better check with the other women in the group and make sure they don't want her along.  If they agree with you, try having everyone say a variation of, "Oh, wow, I am SO SORRY we didn't know you might be interested and so we didn't plan this so you could be included.  If only we had known ahead of time before all the arrangements were made! It just never occurred to us that you might be interested in a sleep on the ground, bugs eating us up, get wet and filthy experience.  We'll have to make sure to include you next time!"  The more you express how terrible you feel about how she can't come this time the less likely she is to be offended.

Answer 8

It's a good idea to talk to the other people in the group and make sure that the feeling is mutual so they can back you up, but it's not necessary. Just say you don't want her to come or didn't know she wanted to come and thus haven't planned for her to be there. If she's a true friend she'll understand. If she's not even your friend then you could try to make up an excuse to spare her feelings, but lying often leads to even more hurt feelings down the road.

Answer 9

make sure she knows it's going to be outside with bugs, anf stinky fish.  try to make sound unappealing.  have her bring her own car if she insists on going

Answer 10

.......just say the trip was cancelled because the river was too choppy

Answer 11

lay down the rules to the entire group at the beginning - in a joking way of course - anyone who complains has to stay home next time or has to cook supper for everyone, etc.. She'll have to behave or suffer the consequences. May have to give her a few reminders of the deal during the trip, but hopefully, it will keep her whining in check.

Answer 12

There is no way to tell her she can't go without sounding mean.

Answer 13

just tell her the truth or say you already have enough people going and don't want to take anymore

Answer 14

Hopefully, you will have at least another day at work before you take your trip. If so, here's what you do.... You and the other girls start talking about how dirty you'll get, how many bugs will be out, how hot it will be, and how you'll be sleeping on hard rocky ground. Talk about it non stop, and how much fun you'll have with all the dirty outdoors. Hopefully, she'll realize what she got herself into and change her mind!

Answer 15

well if you don't like her (and she works below you) then tell her. However if she is like a boss then i would let her come. As i see it these are your options

A) cancel the trip

B) say you canceled the trip, but go with your friends

C) suck it up and deal with her on the trip

D) tell her that there is NO WAY that she is coming along

E) chicken out and make up some kind of lame excuse ex. there is no room in the cabin for an extra person.

hope this helps