What do you do when you realize alot of your severe depression is circumstantial ?

Question

but your circumstances arnt easily changeable ?

for example living with borderline personality disorder and ptsd, having endured a miserable , traumatic life - living on disability , owning no possessions except an old computer - no carpets on the floor of your apartment - an old shabby bed.

having missed out on most things people take for granted : never formed any relationships ever - never been employed , never studied or gained qualifications.........suffered severe misfortune, abuse, bullying, homelessness , through out my life.

been in a psychiatric hospital, have a minor criminal record.

having physical problems / imperfections : 2 missing teeth , front bottom row , due to an accident - torn ankle ligaments in your left ankle , due to a bad sprain a year ago - told it will take time to heal , ankle is very weak.

cracked skin, that has tears , covering the head of your p***s, youve not had satisfactory answers or clarity with that and your still waiting for further investigations.

a crooked little finger that droops over due to an injury years ago, wont straiten.

balding, with bad aging facial skin at 30, feel as though youve aged prematurley.

suffer severe low self esteem, get clingy, act desperate - so its impossible to form relationships in the present with people, especially females.

im often rejected , and deeply fear rejection.

im far , far, far away from my future goals and ambitions in life, with alot of disadvantages, and im already 30 now.

goals of a good paying computer job, where i can live asecure happy life - a loving partner, to leave england permenantly, emigrate to somewhere quiet and coastal.

but knowing im extremely far from achieving this goal.

feeling lonely and isolated each day , living alone etc.

presentley having no social support network, except my mother whos aging and cant do much to help - presentley waiting for group therapy.

so theres a summary of my situation and obviously theres no quicky easy solutions.

along with bpd and ptsd i know this is probablly why im severley depressed.

theres no easy answers - what do i do ?

Answer 1

Im sorry to tell you this but even people over here where i live treat people who have a mental illness or have been in a jail with mistrust its not just where you are its everywhere the only thing you can do is ignore them or move away but theyll find out all about you in time then youll think thier talking about you and plotting against you again to prevent you from what you want you must have a illness called paranoia im sure not everyone is against you and they want to help you ask for a dissability advocate to help you tell them thier giving you a hard time because of what happened to you in the past they got people over here to help people who have no friends or supporters theyll listen to them

Answer 2

actually, each and everyone of the things on your list could be dramatically and swiftly changed if you would take control of your mind set.  You cling so persistently to all that is negative in your life, you have no chance of seeing things in a positive light and therefore become proactive instead of being a victim.