What do you do when your 19 yr old Son doesn't tell you that he has a girlfriend and that she is pregnant?

Question

What do you do when your 19 yr old Son doesn't tell you that he has a girlfriend and that she is pregnant?

Answer 1

You have to confront him and let him know you are aware of the fact.  Offer support and let him know that he has to get a job and do the responsible thing.  Let him know that you are disappointed but that you trust he has learned a valuable lesson and will take responsibility.

Answer 2

well you found out right? Hes an adult does he have to tell you everything. Maybe he didnt tell you b/c hes not the father

Answer 3

Well...you already know don't you?

Answer 4

Really i would try to find out why he felt the need to hide it.  There would have to be a reason.  I know that I would want my boys to feel like they could tell me anything.

Answer 5

He is an adult. Let him face the consequences on his own.  

Answer 6

I guess the question is... is it his. I'm not saying shes sleeping with a lot of different boys. What im asking is if your son and her have been dating for a month and shes 6 months pregnant then good chances are its not his. Well if it is his ask him what they plan to do, there is no point in getting mad the task is done and now its time to deal with it. If they plan to keep it, support them but make sure they know that you will be the grandmother NOT the kids mom and you will not be raising it. You will watch the child when you want to or if they ask and you dont have any other plans and not that often. If they plan on giving the child up for adoptions discuss if they want an open or close adoption if open how much a part of the child's life do they want to be in. If its not his tell him its great that he may like/love this girl but her child is not his responsibility. He can support her and be part her and her child's life and when he gets older if he decides he wants to marry the mother become a father for the child that's his CHOICE it doesn't need to be forced on him.

Answer 7

Nothing.  He is an adult and should take responsibilty for his actions.

Answer 8

realize that he has trust issues with you?  i can't think of another response.

it's difficult for kids to tell parents these things... they think they will get a lecture, or scolded.  

my son was 21 when his girlfriend became pregnant... and even though we have a good relationship, he was sort of hesitant about telling me, too -- i could tell he was.  strange, but true.  Because i sensed his hesitation I told him i was happy for them, and that they were over 18, know where babies come from and it was their choice...

kids!

Answer 9

Your adult son didnt have the balls to tell you he had a girl pregnant...

you didnt have the balls to tell your son you knew he had a girl pregnant...

whats the difference?

Answer 10

Wondering how you found out is part one.  Part two- would YOU have told your parents?  Now that you know stop asking questions and support this decision.  You know its a biggie.  Maybe he was afraid you'd react badly.

Answer 11

he is probably still shocked about the whole situatio himself.