What do you do when your 5 year old son has been involved in genital touching?

Question

When he was in preschool it was a game, playing doctor etc. I have had the talk with him starting out calm, letting him know it's not o.k to touch or look at others genitals. Since then he has been caught looking and actually touching others genitals. His female cousin of the same age is usually an instigator and they have teamed up on other children. He has resorted to lying to me and not telling me what really happened, so punishement has become more severe, spankings for lying, not having sleep overs, and not playing with friends. Recently I just found out that his cousin made him take down his pants and licked his genitals. He has been told it's not o.k and when he is in this situation to tell an adult and he won't be in trouble. His Father and I are divorced and share custody, all of this has happened either at school or on his Fathers watch. Please help I am at wits end and next is a child phsycologist.

Answer 1

Maybe take the cousin aside in a non threatning way and talk to her about what she did and why. Talk to her about "good" touches, like hugging and kissing on the cheak, and hand holding, then talk to her about "bad" touching and the areas that should not be touched by somebody else. Then ask her if she ever had anyone touch her there. Let her know she would not get in trouble if she told you, that you are only wanting to know so that she is safe and not hurt anymore. Explain to her that these parts are private and if anyone ever does something to these private parts that she should tell you. Have the same discussion with your son and explain to him that if he touches somebody else that he will be punished, because you don't want other children to be hurt.

Answer 2

As far as I understand, this would be legal grounds to have only supervised visits with his father..... that is, if the father is not willing to keep him away from that cousin.

Answer 3

Your son is not the problem here he is the victim and so is his cousin... you need to find out why his cousin is acting like she is... it is a common sign of sexual abuse for a child to be like that... some curiosity is normal but kids don't know to l**k genitals,

Answer 4

WOW! the l*****g is one step passed making an appointment with a child psychologist!

talk to your son and directly tell him his p***s is for going pee pee and not for touching, plain and simple

good luck

adding a bit here

but i agree with it being legal issues. if the child is in danger, visits should be supervised. you should take this up with a professional and the court. its your baby, whether you are the fun parent or the mean one, its their safety that comes first. It should make you wonder, how the cousin knows to touch there or l**k it! you can't parent the cousin, but you can parent your children.

Answer 5

Right now a Child Psychologist is a must.  Your son is a victim of someone who has probably been abused herself. (l*****g his genetials)  Next he should not be allowed to be with his cousin unsupervised.  It is normal that kids that age are curious looking at body parts, don't discourage him from looking, but tell him if he wants to see body parts you and him will make time to go to the library together and get a book and look at pictures.  But the first thing you must do is get him to the doctors.

Answer 6

I agree with *baby on board* because touching is sometimes normal because they get curious but when the girl cousin is l*****g your sons gentials. You have to sit down adn think where she learned this from because she had to see or something because they didnt make this stuff up. I learned this in child develpment. The scnerio they gave up though was Amy was liked John and when they where in the story circle to show she liked him she put her hand on his gentials. And this was a scnerio or child abuse because thats what their tought. So try and figure out where their learning this definally talk to the cousin. The Chil phsy. might be a good idea because if you can get both the boy and girl in their they can probably talk to them and the Child phsy had the experience to notice signs and the children tend to be more open with people who arent their parents because they know how to become their friends. Hope everything turns out okay!

Hope I helped :)

Answer 7

curiosity on genitals is normal to a 5 year old...but l*****g?...my goodness...that's too much the cousin needs to be punished

Answer 8

you need a docter obviously, or you need to really disspline hem. i mean no tv.....anything .....not even outtings