What do you do when your child is being bullied?

Question

My son has been bullied by the same boy since 2nd grade. They are now in 4th grade and it is not improving. Today this other boy shoved a berry from a bush up my son's nose. My son does nothing to defend himself. He doesn't want to upset the other boy or get him in trouble. He's crying out for help, but I have spoken to the parents about the problem and discussed it with school personnel and this boy knows how to not get caught. I have told my son that he's going to have to stand up for himself or get a teacher involved, but he doesn't have the courage to do it. What should I do?

Answer 1

Have you tried having your son see his school counselor? Set up a specific time where your son can go and discuss his problems with the counselor. Talking to someone else about his problems can help, and if he gets comfortable talking to his counselor, then there is someone he can trust to help him when something happens at school.

Another thing you can do is talk to his teacher. Ask the teacher if she could keep an eye on things in class and let you know how it goes. Send an email to the principal and tell them about the issue. I'm sure there is something the school can do. If the kid bullying your son is in his class, possibly think about having him switch teachers.

Whatever you do, make sure that when your kid is bullied, he knows how to defend himself without bullying back, as this could further complicate your problems.

Answer 2

There's a few different routes possible

- get your kid self defense classes

-have him try to become the bullies friend, maybe all the bully wants is attention, or a friend

-have him avoid the bully any way possible

-have your son make it seem that he's not agitated by the bully, so the bully gets bored of bullying

-take it to the school

Hopefully one of these routes works and good luck!!!!!

Answer 3

My son had this problem and it started the same time in 4th grade towards the end of the year.  My wife told me that she would handle it and i watched my son for a month get picked on.. My wife said that summer was almost there and just seperating from the boy would work when they came back in the fall.  It picked up right where left off.  So in the 5 grade my son called me from work and told me to take care of it.  We tried everything went to teachers, principals and even talked to the local police. The boy's mother said that her child would never do anything like that...So i did what i thought was the right thing to do. I taught my son to defend himself told him if the boy hit you, you have every right to fight back. Told him if it comes down to blows and you get send to the office to call me first and ill will be there.(mom works in the school). And the very next day the other boy hit my son from behind, my son got up turned around and hit the kid in the nose and then jumped on him and hit him several more times before his own peers pulled him off. He never got sent to the office because the teacher said it was self defense.. and the best thing could have happened NO MORE BULLY.  Kids respect my son and now he has no trouble in school..This year the state of Kansas passed a bully law , if anyone see any kind of bully then the law gets involved and if not the law will arrest the principal and teacher for not reporting it .. Hopefully your son will do the right thing and stop it before it gets out of hand.......

Answer 4

tell him to kick there ***! that is why he is being made fun of because he does nothing. And telling the teacher is going to make those kids think he is even more of a p*ssy then they already thought he was

Answer 5

Okay, what if you had a job and there was this guy there always pushing you, taking your office supplies and destroying them, slapping you in the face when you tried to speak and basically belittling you in front of everyone? You tried countless times to discuss it with the boss and he said, I've never seen him act this way and your co-workers said, "Hey, you gotta learn to stand up for yourself."  Would you stay at that job or would you run screaming and running as fast as your legs could carry you? Now, why on earth do we expect kids with far less mature social skills to deal with this kind of c**p. What I'm saying is.... get him out of there!! Switch schools now! I don't care how you do it... do it NOW. Don't listen to another counselor's excuse or administrative blow-off. Remove your child to a safe environment NOW!  The innocence of children must be protected at all costs. Don't let your child continue to be abused this way. You know this is wrong and hurting your child. DO SOMETHING AND GET HIM OUT OF THERE!!!!!

I'm so sorry to be so insistent, but my daughter was hurt very badly by a bully. She was scarred inside and out; when they called me at work and said she was at the hospital; I knew....

If I could turn back time, I would have snatched her out of there the moment she mentioned it; instead I did what you're doing....

Please don't make the same mistake I did......

I waited and questioned; all the while my little girl was being hurt....

Just my humble 2 cents...

Answer 6

Have you considered empowering him by enrolling him in defense training? Karate?   Can you change his classes so he is not near the bully?  Could you get a restraining or protective order?  Then it forces the school to have to keep the bully 200 feet or whatever away from your child at all times.  This has been going on way too long and its time to take action.  Be sure to document every single thing you do....who you talk to,  the time and date,  their response etc.   Long term bullying like this can cause psychological problems for your son.   Kids never want you to get involved because they are afraid their peers will ostracize them over it.  But chances are that other kids are being bullied by this same bully too and will appreciate your action.  Your child will get over it if it makes his life better.  

here is some other answers and the websites they came from:

What can I do if I think my child is being bullied or is the victim of disability harassment? (return to top)

Be supportive of your child and encourage him or her to describe who was involved and how and where the bullying or harassment happened. Be sure to tell your child that it is not his or her fault and that nobody deserves to be bullied or harassed. Do not encourage your child to fight back. This may make the problem much worse.

Usually children are able to identify when they are being bullied by their peers. Sometimes, however, children with disabilities do not realize they are being targeted. (They may, for example, believe that they have a new friend, when in fact, this “friend” is making fun of them.) Ask your child specific questions about his or her friendships and be alert to possible signs of bullying—even if your child doesn’t label the behaviors as bullying.

Talk with your child’s teacher immediately to see whether he or she can help to resolve the problem quickly.

If the bullying or harassment is severe, or if the teacher doesn’t fix the problem quickly, contact the principal and put your concerns in writing. Explain what happened in detail and ask for a prompt response. Keep a written record of all conversations and communications with the school.

Ask the school district to convene a meeting of the Individualized Education Program (IEP) team or the Section 504 team, a group convened to ensure that the school district is meeting the needs of its students with disabilities. This meeting will allow you to explain what has been happening and will let the team review your child’s IEP or 504 plan and make sure that the school is taking steps to stop the harassment. If your child needs counseling or other supportive services because of the harassment, discuss this with the team.

As the U.S. Department of Education (2000) recognizes, “creating a supportive school climate is the most important step in preventing harassment." Work with the school to help establish a system-wide bullying prevention.

that was from http://www.bullysafeschools.com/website/...

look at these too:

http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/be...

http://www.schwablearning.org/articles.a...

http://www.lfcc.on.ca/bully.htm

Answer 7

Be persistent. Talk to his new teacher.If this doesn't work go and talk to school counselor, next step vice principal,then principal. If all of this doesn't work go to the school district office or the guidance counselor's office of your child's school district.Also your child may need to see a counselor or therapist outside the school.Some schools have a partnership with other schools when a child feels unsafe.I had to go to the principal office to get help from my son's ex-bully.

Answer 8

I would talk to the teacher or principal. With my child she knows if a child hits her to hit him back. I am NOT saying that violence solves anything BUT my child will NOT be taking advantage of. I personally would go up to the school ad find a way to solve this bullying. Encourage your child into some karate. As a parent we should defend and protect our children.

Answer 9

Maybe you can volunteer around the time the bullying happens and check out whats going on. it may turn out that if you show the school that you are getting more involved and see what is exactly going on, they might be more attentive. good luck!

Answer 10

Tell the principal about his problems. The principal has to do something about it. If he does not stick up for himself or tell an another adult he is just going to keep getting bullied if this does not end. He has two options. Tell a teacher or the principal about his problems. Or tell him to stick up for himself

Answer 11

Funny, I was going to ask that very question tonight.  My son was bullied by a kid that has been bullying him since he was 4 and he's 7 now.  Tonight he threatened my son saying he was going to beat him up if he didn't leave... so my son ran and grabbed a knife.  Luckily my husband saw him with a knife and stopped it before something tragic happened.   So what do I do as a parent?  We will be putting him into self defense martial arts classes for sure but I'm hoping that something tragic doesn't happen first.  

Answer 12

talk to the teacher yourself