What do you do when your feeling sooo mad at your kid?

Question

I can't keep running after my daughter at almost 30 wks pg., First of all she got two helium balloons, I told her NOT tot take them out, but she insisted she was and that they wouldn't blow away but guess what,, she lost em both and cried her eyes out. Second, she always is taking out her toys, all her new expensive toys, I tell her not to but she don't listen and does anyway. We make her do time outs but after shes done w that she still does not listen. Shes only 4 but shes trying my limits really bad and I feel myself getting very angry at her. Especially when I spend alot of money and try to get her nice things and she don't undstand. I guess I don't need to buy her stuff anymore. How on earth can I make her understand that she is ruining her stuff?

Answer 1

Shes 4 and does not differ a 50 cent toy from a 100 dollar toy.

For my son, when he misbehaves I take away the toy he is using or his fav toy at that moment and give it back when he is better. If he keeps it up more toys go away. It works for me.

Answer 2

If you  tell your daugther that she can't do something you have to stand firm on your decision let her cry, how long can she cry for, she will stop at some point. Your daughter is getting older by the minute so you must control her before its to late. Don't get angry with her talk to her and spend quality time with her its worth more than any expensive toy. She's is only four years old and will understand with time so please be patient.

Answer 3

If I were you I'd get one of those stress dumby toys, or talk to one of your friends about it.

Answer 4

My daughter just turned 5. Same problem.

Solution do not buy her any more new toys for a while. If she asks why she can not have them you can calmly respond " Little kids that take care of there toys deserve new one and until you show me you can take care of them you will not have any new ones. The best thing with kids that age is consistency and calmness. It will be hard I guarantee that but remember you are the PARENT and YOU set the rules it is her job to obey them. If she gets disciplined every time she misbehaves eventually she will get the point that you are not messing around.

Good Luck. Hope that was help full.

Answer 5

First she keep treating her toys like that. I would take them away from her till she can treat them right and listen to you. I would start taking privileges away when she being bad and not listening. Like taking toys aways t.v. time away.

Answer 6

She's maybe ruining her stuff because you buy her too much.  She knows she'll be getting something new soon.  Every four yr old is different but my 4 yr old understands that if she ruins her things she won't have them anymore. If she purposely tries to ruin something we take it away from her as a punishment.  Where we live we have toy libraries. They work the same as book libraries but with toy's. This way she can have ever changing toys so hopefully she won't get bored with them and it won't cost you anymore money.  I know what you mean about running after her. I was pregnant and still had an 18 month old and a 3 yr old. When my daughter gets 'unruly' I try to do special things with her so play games just the two of you or go cinema together. I always find after our 'special time' she listens alot more to what I say. Until the next time of course. lol

Good luck.

Answer 7

In our household, we spank for disobedience.  What are you doing when she takes those toys out and you tell her not to?  You say you're doing time-outs.  Are you also taking that toy away from her since she's not playing with it like she was told to?  That's a very natural consequence that may serve as motivation.

Secondly, if she doesn't take care of toys, then you don't buy her expensive ones.  Expensive toys are for those who have shown responsibility and care with regular toys.

Thirdly, if I feel mad at my children, I say in my head Proverbs 16:32, "He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, And he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city."  It helps me to remember that, however reasonable it might seem by man's eyes, my anger or frustration at my children is my sin and my problem, not theirs.

Answer 8

I hid toys that I don't want my daughter to have. If you don't agree with spanking, there's no need to change your stance now. You are very pregnant and tired and your daughter is naturally going to act out to get more attention from you. Try to ignore as much as possible. And take care of yourself.

Answer 9

Well one thing that might help with the toy issue, is to have outside toys for her to play with.  If there is a toy that you don't want her to play with outside, just explain to her that it is an indoor toy and if she wants to play outside, she has to play with the toys out there.  If there are toys that she has already ruined, you might want to let her have those outside to play with.  

For your issue with the balloons, you can tell her that if she takes them outside she has to have them tied up, whenever I get a balloon for my son, I tie it to one of his toys to hold it down so he can play with it.  

She sounds like she is a normal girl, at least like my nieces, they have always been more emotional than my son or nephews.  Eventually the crying will stop and she will be able to understand better but you might just want to get used to her being emotional.  A lot of times, they just have to learn for themselves consequences.

When I am out of patience with my son, I just put him in his room for a nap or quiet time playing.  Sometimes he just needs to calm down, he will sometimes play in his room for a coule of hours before his nap, I just close the door.  I have a video monitor so I can watch and make sure he is safe.  He doesn't cry, he just needs quiet time and so do I.

Good luck.

Answer 10

Why even buy a kid toys they can't play with.  If she is only 4 you shouldn't buy her anything that is going to matter if she breaks it.  Go buy her a bunch of toys from a dollar store and let her have all of them.  Save the expensive stuff for when she is older.  When she is 10 a video game system will probably be $1000 save up for that.  Also a 4 year old has no concept of price value.  If she won't listen stick with the time outs.  If she is screaming her head off shut the door and go outside and take a time out yourself.

Answer 11

Don't spare the rod.

Answer 12

hey can a kid answer this? ha oh well you really have no choice!! but first of all don't be offended by anything i say bec. i'm just a stupid kid that has no idea what she's talking about....right?...right

ok first of all what kind of kid wants toys they can't touch!!!!!??

I am 15 and still when my mom gives me things that sit on a shelf i am so bord with it!!! i would rather get something i can touch and really use ya know?

give her stuffed animals,puzzles,paint (do the painting  outside) toys don't have to be expensive for your kids to love them she'll love it because it was from you!!

when i was like six my mom bought me this dinosauar from a grage sale he was really worn out but i still can't stop loving him cuz my mom bought him for me!!

(he's sitting on my shelf right now)

balloons...i remember that one.. kids love them but they tend to let em lose! when i lost my first balloon my mom let me let it go she asked me if i wanted to see the balloon go high?

i thought it was really cool... of course i screamed when i realized it was gone forever!!

but after awhile i got over it, my mom distracted me with the chance of a lifetime!!

swinging and trying to touch the sky she said mabye if we swing high enough you can see your balloon?!!

8 months preggie wow that is not a great time to have a 4 year old around...mabye when she gets too much to handel you could ask your mom or husband to babysit for awhile

however if your a single mother tell her all about the new baby!! ask her about names,let her feel the baby move when he/she starts moving you'll be amazed how intrested she will be in things if you give her the chance (not that you haven't given her a chance)sit outside and look @ the clouds!!!(this is sooo much fun!!!) do kid stuff that doesn't take alot of movement practice ABS's #'s stuff like that ya know?

I'm sure she'll be better if you give her more things to do occupie her time don't give her a chance to get bord and misbehave!! Good Luck and Congradulations on one amazing and one soon to be amazing kid=)

Answer 13

I don't understand.  What's the point in having toys if she can't play with them?  Explain that to me because I don't get that.  Maybe you (or someone else) can stop buying her expensive toys that she can't play with? She is 4 and does not, I repeat, does not, understand the concept of money and how much money you spent on her expensive things.  This is why I don't buy expensive things for my toddler that I know will get broken anyway from her playing and throwing and sitting on, etc.

Lastly, you are very pregnant and your patience is thin because you are tired and sick of being pregnant.  Wait until the baby comes....you think it's bad now?

Answer 14

My younger sister was the exact same way when our baby sister was going to be born! She was testing my moms limits especially! She maybe just wants your attention and has a feeling that pretty soon it isnt going to be all hers. She's misbehaving to see if you'll still look at her. It got so bad with my sister that my dad had to be extremely loud with my little sister. Then they went out and got her a pet bird and she let off a little on the misbehaving. Jealousy and fear could be the cause of her misbehaving. Try distracting her or doing some different things to help her understand that even though there is another baby coming you still love her and do things with her. Maybe go swimming together! It'll make you feel good and you can both just spend some mommy and me time together. She's at that age where you test the limits too. But I know it helps to distract her from the baby coming.

Answer 15

I would take most of the toys and put them up while she was asleep. Then if she misses them say IDK where they are. When she is being good get one out and say you found it and she is so lucky it was not lost for good. Tell her lots of other little girls would like to have what she has,that some have nothing to play with. And it sounds like you could use a friend. Maybe another Mom that you could have play dates with. Or have you thought about pre school,so you could have more time to yourself. Good luck:)

Answer 16

Its sounds like even though you've got a 4-year-old, you still need to keep the house "toddler-proof" to save your sanity.  Only leave out non-valuable toys and put away anything you don't want her to get into.  So one night when she's asleep, put just about everything up.  That way you at least cut down on her getting into things (and having to discipline her about it).  I don't think she will understand that she's ruining her stuff until she actually has "bought" one herself and realizes that money doesn't grow on trees - that may not happen for several more years.  Good Luck!

Answer 17

I have had this exact same problem with both of my kids!  I have a three year old and five year old, both boys.  It can be very trying at times.  First things first, you must take care of mommy.  If you do not have someone at home with you to help, you need to enlist the help of a friend or family member each week to take some time for yourself.  Just go somewhere and read a book, it does not matter.  Also, start showing your daughter what it means to have things.  The best way to do this with my children was to take them away.  My five year old especially had to have a lesson in this.  Things mean nothing to them at that age.  At one point I took everything out of my sons room for a few days.  He had to ask to play with or use anything.  He did not like it, but he started to figure it out.  Also, we started piggy banks for both of our kids, just putting in change when we had it (as long as they were being well behaved) and eventually my son got enough money to buy a bike.  He is very proud of himself and sees that his piggy bank is empty, so he knows that it takes money to get things, they do not just appear!

Hope this helps.  Also, if there is someone at home that can help, put yourself in "mommy time out" when you feel yourself getting overwhelmed.  I will sometimes just go sit on the floor in the bathroom (the door locks!) and tell my husband and kids I need to go to mommy time out until I can be good.  Try it, it works!