What do you do when your husband loves you but just doesn't need to spend anytime with you?

Question

The only things he needs are athletic events, a good book and a computer and he is happy. I've told him I need more time with him, and he tells me it will get better, but months have turned into years and it's the same. We have four children and they are happy, so I won't destroy their world , but do you think he will ever change?

Answer 1

stop being so insecure

Answer 2

Nope.  Did you not know what he was like before you married him?  If he likes the way things are - why would he change?  But why don't you?  Get a life of your own with your own interests.  He will think much more of you than if you nag or cling.  Good luck.

Answer 3

You need to shock him a bit. But don't go too far. Simply express interest in someone else. It can be at a mall or even watching a movie. Out of the blue say "wow, he's hot!" and then act all "what? What did i say?" when he reacts. The problem is that he's taking you for granted and not noticing you.

Answer 4

so sad.

pray hard. :)

Answer 5

I dont think he will change if he knows that you have been upset for years!  

Answer 6

You need to work on your communication with your husband.  Use these tips, I hope you work things out for your sake.  Marriage should be wonderful.  

Answer 7

You need to put your foot down! Why are you putting up with this? If he doesn't want to spend time with you make him jealous - dress up, do your makeup and go out without him. Go somewhere with your girlfriends, have fun but do not tell him you went out with your girlfriends.  

Answer 8

So you know that he was in to this stuff. Why on earth did you marry him? If thats is not what you are into?

Answer 9

maybe you husband was not happy talk to you,try to learn more to get attention your husband,do something  fun,you must do more fun&enjoy   than cmputer or book !

Answer 10

People dont change, you kids are learning what a marriage is from your marriage. He likes football, offer to host a football game get together, get on the computer together, have him teach game, me and my husband play cards on the computer and try to beat each others scores, you say he likes books, we read Momments with each other by dennise and barbara Rainey you can get it at a christian book store, It has a storey for each day than asks a question for you both to answere, helps us communicate and stay on the same page with what each other wants, expects, dreams, and its our time at the end of the day, he reads one day i read the next, only takes 10 min. not too much but your doing it together. If he doesnt want you involved with the things he likes, find something else you both can do together, some kind of new intrest.

Answer 11

I doubt it...why don't you try doing those things with him?

Answer 12

Don't play "games", just get involved in your own activities.  He will begin to see you aren't waiting around for him anymore.  Don't stay for the kids, stay because it makes you happy.

Answer 13

He will change, but you will too. One thing is certain in a marriage it is constantly evolving and morphing. It will never feel the same as it did in the bebeginningBut loving someone completely should give one the fulfillment needed and all of the occasional close encounters whether they are often or seldom are wonderful. You can find a happy medium by not pressuring him, but to sit in the same room and read when he reads, or find other things that you enjoy doing while staying in close proximity. Now, don't get me wrong. Don't hover, or obviously find reasons to be in the same room. just do what feels comfortable. I have one of these mamarriagesnd we find ourselves sitting on the couch one reading, one watching tv. I might have him lay his head on my lap while he watches tv. I always ask if he would like something from the fridge if I'm getting something and so does he now. Silence can be very comfortable if you are comfortable.  

Answer 14

I'll bet he thinks you are awesome and is comfortable with the life that you have together. Its hard to stay married in this day and age for twenty-two years( I know I have been married for twenty-two years as well). My husband is pretty content with simple things as well. Last year we discovered we enjoy going to yard sales. Oh I know its not romantic but we had been stuck in a rut from raising our 3 kids and weren't clear about what just he and I would enjoy together. But is a lot better than playing head games that might not get the results you need. Be patient, it may not be change you need just a little discovery.

Answer 15

its a loveless marriage :\ maybe need counseling or talk your feelings out with him

Answer 16

do things he enjoys, then ask him to do things YOU enjoy