What do you do when your partner's kid doesn't want you to be a couple anymore?

Question

My girlfriends 12yr old daughter seems to be manipulating her against us being together. This kids dad bailed on her, has not even seen her in the last 12 months, and they don't get a penny from him. Basic deadbeat, always disappointing the kid. When we started dating the kid really seemed to like me, Now I have just gone thru some big changes, I had a lap-band put in and have totally changed the way my entire family looks at food. her daughter is pushing 200lbs @ 12yrs old. She binges on sugar and basically stuffs her face with anything "bad" that will fit in it...seriously. I know this unsaid conflict is at the root, When I'm around she feels self conscious about her gorging on food,,even sneaks it when I'm around. I have never said anything to her about her eating habits, she implies it?

Answer 1

You could be saving this child's life, or maybe some embarrassing moments in HS.  Hang in there..... Kids always know it all, you know.... I use to be one of those kids!  

Answer 2

I was in a relationship with a woman who had 2 girls. The early teen wanted to do what ever she liked. Tons of lies, and acting innapropriate. She was making all the big mistakes a young girl can make. Especially with the boys. I was not going to live in a house where the 13 yr old girl was going to be sexually active. She resented me from trying to keep her out of trouble, and she eventually got her wish, and I left.

Answer 3

12 years old is a really really tough age, especially if she feels she is competing with you for mom's attention. There's some friction there but sorry to say, you're contributing to it. You say you've never SAID anything to her but you also said you've changed the way your entire family looks at food. Is she not part of your family? You said she "stuffs her face" - not very nice. You may not have said it in words but your attitude and pointed silence can be just as powerful. Good for you for doing something about your health - just lead by example without the attitude.

Answer 4

She is what she is, A CHILD! She don't have no say-so over your relationship with her mother. That is her way of taking out her frustrations on you because her father is a sorry excuse of a man! You should talk to your girlfriend about her daughter's eating habits-its going to cause her health problems if they haven't already. If you go to the girl then she is more likely to cause a conflict between you and her mom, so it would be best to talk to your girlfriend about her daughter.