What do you do when your toddler wants to revert back to whining

Question

Before our daughter was born, he was great about using his words and speaking like a big boy. But lately, as in the last day or two, he's reverted back to more whining and crying to communicate. I think he sees that his sister cries and whines to tell us what she needs and he thinks that is the way to communicate now to get our attention, *laughs*.

We remind him that big boys use words and babies whine/cry. When we say "Use your words", he does, but we have to remind him a lot lately. He just seems to want to whine more than anything to tell us what he wants or needs. We understand it's probably a phase, but is that a normal thing or what else could be going on here?

Answer 1

Sounds totally normal. It's just an adjustment period with the new baby around and you're right- his sister gets attention for screaming and crying, why shouldn't he? This reminds me of a book we got from the library recently. If you haven't read Kevin Henkes's 'Julius, Baby of the World' it's hilarious...it's a kids' book about a sister welcoming (sort of) her new baby brother and she goes through similar things. In particular she screams b/c it works for Julius but there are some parts that some parents who reviewed the book don't love (she gets kinda sassy in the book) so you might change some verbage if you read it to your son (depending on his age).

You're doing the right things though reminding him to use his words and being consistent about it. You might also tell him that the way the baby will learn to talk is to hear her big brother use big kid words and not whine as this will encourage him as well.

Best of luck to you guys!!!

Answer 2

I forget how old your toddler is.  It's possible that he's going through a toddler version of 12 month old tantrums.  He could be reaching a higher emotional and mental level of awareness but isn't able to express that yet.  It's possible that his emotions are just running at a higher level than his ability to express them.  Since his emotions are so high and strong but his verbal abilities can't keep up he whines and cries because it's easier.

As an example, we had some friends living with us with their 3 year old.  She was really independent when she wanted to be, but also was very high strung.  When something didn't work out the way she thought it would she would get really frustrated, especially with us adults.  When we would try to help she would tell us out of frustration to leave her alone.  If we left and went to do something else she would get more upset, but that wasn't what she meant.  She wanted us to be there with her but to let her do it by herself, but the only way she could communicate that was by telling us to leave her alone, even though she didn't actually mean to leave her alone.  

So, I'm pretty sure it's normal.  His verbal abilities just need to catch up to his feelings.

Answer 3

LOL the baby phase.   It is compeltely normal.

You really want to play up the Big Boy idea.  Engage him in big boy activites even helping with his little sister.  Simple things like having him pick out clothes or singing and talking to her, even telling the little one stories can play an important part in emphasizing the role as the big brother.  

Start a big boy rewards chart.  A simply white board with magents or a fun stamp so he can earn points and eventually a reward for acting like a big boy.   Great rewards are an afternoon with mom or dad going to a movie, a special treat or a big boy toy.

Answer 4

my son started it recently as well, he is 3.  When he whines I tell him "Does that get you what you want?"  instantly he will revert back to speaking properly.  I ignore him untill he talks like a big boy, I explain to him that I do not understand whining and I will not listen to it.  If he wants to whine he can go to his room, when he is finished he can come out.  He quickly stopped all his whining and realized that it didn't work.  See, children do what works.  You have to make him realize that it won't work, but what does work is talking like a big boy.  

Answer 5

well this is what every parent doesn't like to hear its called giving your child a spanking its hard to do sense you love your child so much but trust me its best.