What do you do when your world is falling apart???

Question

Plz help me. I'm 13 and the world is coming down on my shoulders. HARD! My dad has never been around but me and my mom have been fighting alot and lately thats not unusual. In the last 4 months of my life my grandma and grandpa died, my sister because severely depressed, one my friends hung hisself, one of my family members was sentenced to six years in prison,and most recently another one of my friends (and ex) was sent to juvi, and this other boy I talked to (as a good friend) is on trial for murder and is facing 20 years and he's only 17.What do you do when u realize that your life has gone to s***z. I'm going crazy I can't stop my tears. What do you do when you realize that some of the rocks{in this case the people} you picked to sit yourself up on are pretty cracked. Plz I feel like dying. can someone just tell a teenaged girl how to fix her problems. You don't have to be a teen to answer help because if you're not now you used to be. But advice from teens today is nice.

Answer 1

find something you love.  think possitive.  no matter how sad you try to smile, it makes you feel better.  chose your friends wisley.  talk to a school counsler.  find a very close friend teacher to talk to.  start talking with your sister she can relate to you she is in the same suituation.

Answer 2

i'm not a teenager, but i hope i'll have a few encouraging words for you.

i'll start with your friends.  i'm really sorry for the one who hanged himself.  i'm sure that this was terrible for you, but...and there is always a but....life has to go on.  you have to try to put it behind you.  he or she isn't here anymore, but you are and you have to keep on going.  there's nothing you can do by worrying yourself sick.

secondly, the family member and friends who are having trouble with the law.  listen sweetie, in life, if you play with fire, you'll get burnt, one day or another.  they were risking stuff, and they knew it....they knew what the consequences of their actions were, and they were willing to take chances.  people like you, who are sensitive, are left behind to feel all the burden and weight of their actions - which is not fair.  life keeps on going, you have to accept what happened, and start from there.

i'm sorry for the loss of your grandpa, and grandma.  but they're in heaven, watching over you.  if you are religious, even if you have never prayed, go to a church near you, and pray to God.  you can pray to your granpa and grandma too, they'll listen and help you and give you all the strenght you need.

now your family, which is the most important part of you life.  your sister is depressed, this is stressing your parents, and maybe this is the reason for all the fighting.  a good thing would be for you to speak to your mother or father separately, or else make them sit down and listen to you.  What shall you say?  they're your parents, they love you.  tell them what you're going through, how bad you're feeling, and tell them that all their fighting is making matter worst.  you're crying for help, but there is no one on yahoo questions who can reach out and help you!  but they can. they love you, i'm sure and you can work this out as a family.  don't let the burden of hundreds of people weigh on your tiny shoulders, tell them, ask them to help you. I'll pray for you.  good luck

Answer 3

make peace with your mom. this way you can vent to her about everything. or maybe you can go to a conselor. just talk about your feelings instead of keeping it all locked up inside you, that'll just cause more emptiness.

Answer 4

try and find something that cheers you up and try to take your mind off that

Answer 5

look my friend i feel pity  4 u n such problems are seen only in 3hour movie which happens within a hour it is solved but dont worry never talk obt dying...... after a night there comes a day. so u problems will b solvd............... u will b happy one day keep hope in god .GOD WILL BLESS U

Answer 6

talk to you mom tell her whats on your mind ask your self why is she getting mad at me, know this shes only tiring to protect you remember she doing this on her own and she to lost someone she loved talk to each other you don't have to go through this alone do you have a, aunt or uncle to talk to don't hurt your self. ask god to help you through these rough times just keep god in your hearts and remember that your mom and sister are going through there own problems. just try and stay strong and know your mom and god love you. talk to someone before you do some thing dumb. ask god for help. good luck and god bless you.

Answer 7

hang out with some new friends. especially good ones.

Answer 8

Pray.

And thank God- you have food,water,shelter.(if you believe in god)

also remind yourself, The rain will stop eventually- and the sun will shine. (like my little analogy- just hang in there and hope for better days)

answer mine? http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?...

Answer 9

don't pray, don't sit around waiting for something to happen. First, go play some sports, or excersise to clear you mind. Take a walk alone and find out what to do in the future. P***k yes. don't wait for god to do something like these christians are saying to do.

Answer 10

Wow thats tough! especially since ur only 13.

I can't imagine wot all that is like to go through. But

i hope i can offer some advice that will help you. First off, i think it's great that ur able to post this question (i'm sure it wasn't easy)!  i can only suggest things that have helped me through some really tough times eg. Deaths, no relationship with my dad, moving, bad friends ect...  When i felt like i had reached the lowest point ever i began to WRITE down my feelings and my situation. it help to keep me thinking straight. I don't know if u believe in God but i always found PRAYING to be a really good release as well, like i didn't have to carry my burdens on my own. If ur looking for new ppl to hang around than u could try a youth group. most teens there will be fun and supportive, qualities u want in a friend. Fighting with ur mum is normal but my advice there is PICK UR BATTLES, sometimes there not worth it. As for the no contact with ur dad, well thats tough, and i can fully sympathise with u, the only thing that worked for me was  accepting my dad the way he is and reminding myself to be different than him. u won't fix ur problems in a night, it will take time and a lot of effort on ur part, but it will make u a STRONGER person. u won't feel this way forever, i promise!! I'm 16 btw, sorry for my long answer, i hope i have helped a little xx

Answer 11

I'm so sorry to hear about all that you're going through......I can't even imagine what it's like. Just trust in God, and ask for His help, because He loves us all so much!

Answer 12

Maybe you should change friends it'll be hard and tell your friends to change thier ways Trust m i had it just as bad and i was 14 a little older but Change your friends ones that'll be a good influence. That my help with the jail stuff as for the depression from your sis just pray to god that she'll get better. also why are you fighting with your mom that way we nknow how to answer that one.

Answer 13

Honey, you need someone to talk to. Go to your school councilor or call MHMR. There are people who are willing and able to help you. You don't have to do this alone. Good luck and God bless.

Answer 14

buy some bandaids and stick it back together piece by piece

Answer 15

Try writing. I went through hard times in my teens and writing always helped me through. It's nice to get everything out of your head.

It sounds cliche but it will get better. Life doesn't stay bad forever. When I was 13 I never thought I would make it through but I'm now 19 and I'm thankful for all the bad because it made me a much stronger person. What you're going through is going to make you strong.

Try to get therapy or join online and offline support groups. It's important to grieve the deaths of your friends and loved ones. If you don't then it will be hard to move on. It's a process but going through it will help you to let go of some of the pain, hurt, and loneliness that comes with losing people.

Another thing that helped me is the empty chair therapy thing. It's where you sit or stand in front of an empty chair and pretend it's someone you want to talk to/confront/cuss out/etc. Like if you were close to your grandmother you can pretend the chair is her and just tell it everything. I know it sounds crazy and it's going to feel crazy but it will help you cope, trust me.

Just hang in there. You're going to get through it all. I'm a walking testimony for you. It does get better. If you want to talk more email me [e-mail].

Answer 16

Aww sweetie, the answer is you just keep going.  One foot in front of the other.  You grieve for the people you lost, you empathize with the people around you that are hurting, you understand that just as this is an incredibly difficult time for you it is difficult for your mom as well (being a single mom, losing her parents -if grandma and grandpa where on her side, and dealing with your sister's mental health problems) and you try to help each other the best you can.  If your mother isn't able to give you what you need right now, reach out to a teacher or other adult that you trust.  This is what I did when my world was falling apart when I was 13.  I realized that I needed to talk with someone that I could trust and ended up in the guidance councelor's office and even though she didn't step in and fix any of my problems it really helped to have her there to listen.

Also (and this part is so hard, I know) you have to remember that you are only 13 and that this will not be how your life is forever.  YOU get to make choices about how you will be when you are older.  You decide if you are going to go to college and what sort of job you are going to get and what sort of people you are going to be around when you are older.

Right now though, even though it is hard -think about the things you are grateful for.  It really does help.  Even if they are small things like I am grateful for another day, I am grateful for my favorite socks, I am grateful for corn flakes... whatever it is.  When ever it feels like the tidal wave of saddness is going to tip your boat, just start making a mental gratitude list and you will find the saddness just bearable.  And pain and grief fade with time.

I like to think of grief as a big cup of sand inside of us.  The sand is burning hot and at first it almost seems unbearable that we will be able to carry this hot burning sand around with us, but every hour of every day we lose a piece or two of sand and at first, it doesn't feel any different.  You've lost 50 grains of sand but it doesn't feel any different, but eventually you will start to notice, it doesn't hurt so much any more and then it will hurt even less until one day you may not even think of it at all. This is all stuff you learn growing up, but I think you had quite a bit dumped on you all at once so it seems impossible that you will be able to dig out from underneath it all.  Give it time.  It will get better.

Answer 17

Well, first just relax and take a bath or something. Relax. Then I want you to write down all of the things that have happened to you (except the deaths) on pieces of paper. Then I want you to rip them up and throw them in the trash. You feel really good after doing this. Then go and do something fun. Go shopping, watch Tv, go hang out with friends just get over it. Everyday for 2 weeks I want you to write the stuff down that make you sad. Then rip and throw. Just forget about it. Life sucks. But you can make it right.

Answer 18

well your world is falling apart but one of the most comforting things to know is that your not alone, there are people that have gone through, will go through, and ARE going through situations that are similar to yours

keep calm and keep yourself from doing anything rash, im sure that the people you cared about wouldn't want you to do anything harmful to yourself whether dead or alive

chances are, life will get better and time will close the wounds that have been inflicted on you, good luck

oh yeah and one more thing, the part about your grandparents passing away is actually quite normal, people die when someones time is up their time is up

death is not neccesarily a bad thing your grandparents are in a better place, be happy for them

Answer 19

Definitely pray, even though your mother and you are arguing she wouldn't know what to do if you ever killed yourself, imagine what your friends parents are going through knowing their child hung them self. Don't be rash and do something that permanent. About your grandpa and grandma it's going to hurt but eventually you'll realize even though they're not physically with you anymore they'll always been with you in other way and they wouldn't want you to do anything dramatic.

Answer 20

pray. pray to god like there's no tomorrow. it may take a while for him to answer, but be patient, god goes by his own time. this may be a challenege he's setting up for you, to see how you will receive it. but keep praying and ask god to help you. look at all the many positive sides in your life right now. it may get aggravating when you pray to god, but don't give up! and dont give up on faith. good luck. god loves you :)

Answer 21

Wow that is pretty bad. I'm 13 too and can relate... to some of that.. Suicide is not the answer trust me. You have to keep positive and try to enjoy your life as much as you can.

Answer 22

find new friends, better ones