What do you feel about eloping (or small wedding like this)?

Question

My fiance just expressed to me that he'd like to elope. He doesn't want a big wedding, or a small one for that matter. We think we'd like to take just two or three friends each (our "bridal party") and go up on a mountain or something and have a beautiful outdoor fall wedding with no guests. Afterwards we would all go out to eat or something. We would maybe go to someone's house and decorate and eat just us. Our thoughts are we can have a very small, intimate, inexpensive wedding that has more involvement of us in it and we can just have fun with our friends. We'd do the same, normal things at a wedding (bouquet toss, garter toss, first dance) but it would be us and just our six guests. I think it's exciting and romantic, but I know not everyone thinks that way. How would you feel if you knew one of your friends/siblings/children got married in this way?

Answer 1

I also wanted to elope (this was my second marriage).  Our mothers were hurt that we did not wish to share this special day with them so we chose to have a very small wedding with only our immediate families.  It was great!  Had the wedding at my parent's home and total cost for everything (including clothes, rings, food, drink, decorations, cake, invitations, singer/dj, etc.) was just under $1000.  It would have cost us more than that to elope so I think we did really well with the whole thing, and our families got to share in our joy.

Answer 2

Eloping is running away in secret to get married -- so that doesn't sound like what you are doing. You are just planning a wedding without family.

I think it's very sad - part of getting married is doing your vows in front of family and friends, then having them celebrate with you at the reception. I'm really sad that you don't have a nice relationship with your family...

Wish you luck.

Answer 3

I think your plan is wonderful, but you should talk about what marriage means to you as a couple. Does it mean that you are part of each other's family, a symbolic joining of two families? Or simply that you two are vowing to be together forever? If you care about being included in each other's family, you should invite the family members that are most important to you.

Answer 4

that sounds perfect.  

Answer 5

It doesn't matter if you spend 5 dollars or 5 million dollars on your wedding your still going to be just as married

Answer 6

I think this day should be what you and your fiance want the day to be. My daughter has just expressed the same feelings to me and asked what I thought. Although she is my youngest and you would think I want to have a beautiful wedding day for her it is NOT what they would like so I want what they want. Go on the web and look up Private Elopement Packages. You will have some awesome ideas and see how wonderful it can be. Dont let anyone spoil this day for you two.  I hope it is all you want it to be. You can send out anoucements later with pictures of you both letting then know a Private ceremony was held.

Answer 7

Well i personally think its a good idea. It should matter who you invite. The only thing that should matter is if you and your fiance are there...

I want a small wedding like that, like exactly like that maybe not the same location for the ceremony but similar. Just me and my fiance and a couple people.. Not this huge wedding that both of our families want.

If anyone i knew was getting married like that, I would think it was a great idea. And tell them they should go for whatever makes them happy.

Good luck and great idea!

Answer 8

If this is what you want to do, then it's great. It's all about how you feel, not about how we feel. I've never had a big wedding (and never would), and I'm happy with this. I would also be happy to hear that my friend/sibling got married in a manner they liked - be it a small or a big wedding.

Answer 9

how would your family feel (parents, siblings, and grandparents)? I know mine would be very upset. I think you should AT LEAST include your parents.  

Answer 10

I have similar feelings about this and would say eloping is not only romantic and your friends/guests/family that are there will appreciate it, and its cheap ;) (true Yorkshire man, got to watch those pennies) and you can spend that money on yourselfs, be it a house or the best honeymoon what ever you fancy.

Good luck in the mountains  

Answer 11

Go for it. Big weddings are really not necessary. Small intimate weddings are awesome and this way you have more money later for things like a house or other things.  

Answer 12

I think it sounds wonderful.  If I were your sibling I would know that you were doing what you wanted and that's wonderful! I wouldn't be hurt not being able to attend.  

Answer 13

Ultimately this is suppose to be your special day so whatever you & your fiance decide should be fine but...as the bride, I'm sure that your parents would like to be included. I would at least talk to them and let them know how you feel and give them a chance to tell you how they feel. By the way, I myself am a fan of the beautiful, unique wedding that lets your guest know exactly who you are and what you're about. On that note, I absolutely love the outdoor Fall wedding idea. Just keep in mind that no matter what anyone says or thinks, this is YOUR day so if you have to gently remind them of that...by all means, do so.

Answer 14

That sounds beautiful. Go for it!

Big weddings are overrated and not too nessacary!

Good luck and congrats!

Answer 15

I think it's great (you guys need to do what YOU want), but you just have to remember that some feelings will be hurt. If parent's aren't there, they're going to be disappointed that they didn't get to see their babies get married.

The best way to do this is to have your small, intimate wedding as you described, and then have a reception-type thing for when you get back, which will include your friends and family. You can keep that small, and have it at a restaurant or something, but that way, most everyone will feel like they were at least a little involved with your marriage. Bring photos of your wedding and let people make toasts if they'd like (those that weren't there, of course).

While  yes, weddings are about the couple, I think you do have to keep  family and close friends in mind. I could never elope because I'm extremely family-oriented, and want my family there celebrating it with me, but I totally understand why some couples just want three or four friends at their wedding, and just elope. It keeps the focus on the marriage, but you sacrifice that for some feelings being hurt.

It's always a trade off, but just be prepared to go the extra mile when you get back for your family.