What do you guys think about the 500 lbs man, who was told that he was too fat to adopt by the agency?

Question

Just curious what others out there think about it. I am kind of on the fence about it. On one hand, I don't think it should matter if he can be a responsible and caring father. My only reserve is that as long as he doesn't teach his adopted children his eating habits.. So is that possible to be eating from a seperate menu from your family and being a hypocrite by telling them not to eat what and how he eats.. I don't see this being the case... So.. what do you think?

Answer 1

My mother was average weight when she and my father adopted me. As I got older she gained a LOT of weight due to an illness and was at almost 700 lbs. She was still able to walk and take care of me, though we couldnt go out on a bike ride or anything like that. I think in the case of this man someone should monitor his daily living for a few months and see how he lives, to be able to properly decide if he can raise a child or not. Everyone deserves a chance.

Answer 2

To me, I don't think about him teaching a child his eating habits.  I would be more concerned with him not being able to take care of the child physically.  I don't think (nor do I know for sure) if he could even go out and play with the child or keep up with him/her.  Think about all of the things that a parent needs to do with their kids that require a lot of activity.  No matter how loving/caring/responsible he is as a person,  I don't think that at such a heavy weight he would be able to take care of a child.

This is not even thinking about his health.  At 500 pounds, he is at such a high risk for many different diseases and heart problems.  

I'm sorry that he was turned down, it must have hurt him tremondously.  If he is wanting to adopt, then he is wanting the best for a child.  Unfortuately, a parent that cannot interact with a child is not a good thing.

This is just my opinion on the subject

Answer 3

It would be difficult for him to get around and his lifespan is much shorter due to the weight.  They may be concerned about placing a child, only to have them lose their dad at an early age.

On the other hand there are many children who need homes and if he's a good man, he should be allowed.

There are many reasons for his possible weight gain and believe me I know people this weight and they eat the same as you and I - no more and no less.  Perhaps if he is serious about adopting, and about living longer, he'll consider bariatric surgery.  It's a life altering and permanent change but is worth it, or so I'm told.  He would also need counselling to find out why he ate his way to that weight (some may be medical but he probably over ate for some time due to an emotional issue).  Once he has that resolved, there is no reason he shouldn't be a great Dad.

If he doesn't have a freezer full of ice cream and a cupboard full of cookies but a fridge full of fruit and veggies, then give the guy a break.  If he's married, I don't see what the problem is.

I know a couple where the woman is 120lbs and he's close to the 500lb mark and they are very happy and would make great parents.  They both eat healthy but he has a bad back, can't exercise or walk so can't lose because he's more or less homebound.

So yes - the man should be allowed to adopt if everything else is fine with his application.

Answer 4

I think that a 500 lb person would have health problems that might make him a bad risk for adoption.

Answer 5

Wow.  That is a pretty deep question.  I read pretty much all of the answers you have received... and all are right, so I have to agree with you about being on the fence.  I guess when you look at it you have to look at it for the life span of the parent and the chances of this child becoming an orphan.... again.  I believe that everyone has the right to love and to be loved, and the love of a child is the greatest love possible.  Being that he has been denied already, maybe this will be the incentive he needs to get his health issues in order.  This could possibly turn out to be a good thing.  Everything happens for a reason.  I know I would do anything it took to have my children in my life and to insure that I would be the best parent I possible could be for my children.  If that true paternal instinct is there, he will do what it takes (whether the agencies decision is right or wrong) to bring the child he so desires into his life.  I see this as a blessing in disguise.

Answer 6

A 500 pound man is statistically more likely to die sooner, or develop very significant medical problems which could keep him from adequately providing care to a small child.  Diabetes, thyroid problems, heart diseases, kidney issues, etc.  They call it "morbid obesity" for a reason.

That all said, I don't know the criteria for adoption.  Can an adoption agency refuse to consider a prospective parent who has AIDS?  One that has congestive heart failure?  One that is in cancer remission?

Answer 7

ROTFLMAO! They we're probably thinking of Austin Powers when Fat B@stard was like " I want my baby back baby back babyback ribs.......CHILLS Baby Back Ribs!" Lol cause that's what i would be thinking!

Answer 8

I think it is blatent discrimination.  Whats next?  They gonna start taking kids away from their overweight parents? Charge the parents with child abuse?  This is ridiculous!  Land of the free my ***!  Are they going to start screening females when they are pregnant, and if they gain a little too much weight are they gonna take thebabies away at birth?  I am adopted, and I can say from experience, that I would have preferred that my real mom have been 500 lbs as opposed to the crack using prostitute that she was.  As an adoptive child, It didnt matter to me what my parents looked like!  I was just so desperate for appropriate love and attention that 500 lb man would have just been so much more to love!  He should sue because that is seriously the most ridiculous **** I have ever heard in my life.  Taking away this poor mans right to raise a kid because of his weight!  Bullshit!!!!!!

Answer 9

ok.  so i'm an adoptive parent in the city this man lives in.  so let's tell the whole story.  yes he was turned down by the judge, the main reason stated was he was fat.  those were the words exactly used.  but, this exact same judge had approved an adoption to this exact same couple, who weighed the exact same 6 years prior.  this man gets out, works every day, and plays and interacts with his son.  his son is of very healthy weight.  eats well and loves his daddy.  his dad is very involved in every aspect of his son's life.  this baby they want to adopt is from a family member who wants them specifically to adopt this infant.  now yes i agree 500lbs is a weight that is dangerous.  but as an adoptive parent i could be hit by a bus tomorrow.  my job puts me in danger every day.  and yes i'm overweight.  not 500lbs mind you, but not a model either.  when we were approved for a homestudy and to adopt our daughter, my husband had a colostomy.  which basically means his colon was emptying into a bag attached to his side.  when our daughter was a month old he underwent rather major surgery to have this reversed.  i myself have precancerous cells in my endometrial lining and will probably undergo a  hysteroectomy by the end of the year.  other than these few health issues, which could affect anyone.  we were cleared medically to adopt.  and yes we had to have a dr's statement saying that we were expected to live a normal life with normal issues.  to say that this man who is involved in his son's life for the past 6 years without mishap can not care for another son now makes no sense.  how would this be any different from telling a woman who has a large family history of breast cancer, that she cannot adopt because the chances of her having breast cancer are greater than normal?  as usual judges and the courts are taking the law and interpreting it themselves.  

now other circumstances i didn't see brought up here.  yes the biological parent does want this man and his family to adopt their child.  but this child is in foster care right now.  so there are other circumstances involved.  weight is not the only one.  or the child would be with the biological parents.  but the fact that the judge's ruling was most decided by weight is illogical, since this same judge placed a child in the care of these people only 6 years ago.  and 6 years later this child is thriving.  i think the whole thing is just a waste of time.  this baby has a home that loves him and is able to care for him.  the past 6 years with their son, and the fact he is a healthy 7 year old proves that they are fit to be parents.

some facts that answers to the question has produced.  he is not single.  he is a married man.  he's a truck driver and works a full week.  his wife is slightly overweight but has a normal life expectancy.  the child will not be orphaned.  it is not any child he's wanting to adopt.  this is an infant from a family member of his. he did not go through an agency, he simply went through the hoops of adopting a family member's child.  an attorney and a judge.  it is the judge and the infant's guardian at lightem that is making this decision based on weight.  this couple had a prearranged visitation with the foster family who is caring for this child this weekend and the foster family cancelled it for fear of tv reports, which the man and his family had no intentions of bringing.  they simply wanted to spend time with this baby, who is of their family that they love and want to parent.  

there's no agency to agree with.  because there's no agency involved.  it's the state.  now the state would approve this man to be a foster parent, so what sense does this make.  foster parent's are not judged on their weight.  this is simply another silly court situation by the silly a$$ state of missouri.  so please get your facts before shunning this man.  who helped his 7 year old son play ball this summer and plays outside with him in the evenings, and has a healthy, and thin 7 year old son.  yes this man does have higher risk of certain health issues, but don't most of us?  how about helping him instead of making fun of him or turning our backs and allowing the courts to judge for themselves, not according to the law?  he's already proven he's  a good parent and can provide and raise another well adjusted and healthy son.

Answer 10

I think it's ridiculous the way our society treats overweight people. It's worse then having a disease.

Untill I turned 19 years old I was approaching 300lbs and wearing a size 24. I didn't eat hardley anything at all because I never had much of a appetite.

In school I was active in soccer, walked 6 miles a day (to school 3 miles, back 3 miles) and did cardio and weightlifting 5 days a week for 2 hours but it never seemed to help. The less I ate the more I gained.

After various diets and lots of doctors my mom suggested something that worked for her, she started eating all the time (mostly fruit and veggies, like 10 times a day), she went from a 20 to a 14 in less then a year.

So I decided to try it, now I'm a size 16 and 150, I also found out I have a genetic hypothryoidism but that doesn't help you when your young and want to fit in and be pretty, I remember so much torment, snickers, and mean comments, espically when I was in elementary school. It's emotionally damaging to a child I can't imagine to a adult.

I think it's awful how we are so blantly against racism but fattism is perfectly legal. It's perfectly legal to assume that because someone is overweight they are a bad person, or a bad parent, that they are lazy, unhealthy or have bad eating habits. It's digusting. There is so much more to being a parent then your weight.

Answer 11

First of all, adopted children are 75% more likely to have the body type of their biological parentes then of their adoptive parents.  For example, my dad and step-mother are both overweight, but their three adopted children are all quite slender and healthy.  To answer your question, yes, I do think he should be able to adopt.  I've seen a report showing that when birth-mothers look though parent profiles they often pass over heavier parents and I think its terrible.  It doesn't mean they're not active.  Heavier people don't sit on the couch eating chips all day, they just have a weight problem that could be caused by a variety of factors.

Answer 12

Considering the lack of attention he could give the children, I agree with the agency.  Also, quite a few countries have weight resitrictions.

Who wants a parent that can't even play with you outside?

Answer 13

We adopted from Korea, and many of their agencies have weight restrictions, and China has recently adopted these restrictions as well. Different agencies, countries, and states have their own policies and restrictions, many restrict those with health problems, certain disabilites, mental health problems (sometimes even just use of anti-anxiety medication), previous divorces, religious affiliation, etc.

Each agency has to do what they feel is in the best interest of the child being adoped. I can definetly understand why some would think that his physical condition would hinder his ability to care for the child.

Answer 14

Wow who are they do decide who is to heavy to adopt...I have some friends who just adopted a baby from China and he too is 500lbs and had no problem with there adoption. Last check there isn't any law on weigh limit here my friends just adopted Feb. of this year. If you have any question you can call the American embassy here in China they would know better than anyone.  There is a good embassy in Tianhe, Guangzhou that way the information you get is first hand and not second hand. Oh by the way I'm an American living here.

Answer 15

I think that it is ridiculous. If a man wants a child it shouldn't matter what he weighs. The man should take into consideration that the child needs to eat healthier than him but it might be motivation for him to start eating healthier too.

Answer 16

I think it's about physical fitness and about his ability to be a caring father. First, he might fall on and kill the child. Second, he'll die MUCH sooner. Third, the child would be embarrassed of him. Fourth, the eating habits passed on to the child. And also factoring in is the question that what does he love more: food or the child. "GIT AMWPHAY, BILLEH, AMPH TRYIM TU EMT!"* What if he eats all the food and leaves the child.. nothing?

Answer 17

I honestly think that all there concern's are about the child that that man wanted to adopt!  He obviously can't properly care for a child and lack of energy ive lost 50lbs all for the sake of my kids!  So i can play with them and let me tell you I wasn't obiece by any means i was overweight but now i have the energy and also eat healthier and i pass it on to the kids.. So what can a 500 lb man offer a child I think he should really look into his soul and mabie find a diet and get into a routine and get healthy so he has more to offer the child!

Answer 18

People with serious medical illnesses (and I don't see how someone who is 500 pounds could not have heart disease, high blood pressure, perhaps diabetes) are often not allowed to adopt.  I would also question such a person's physical ability to care for a child.  It may seem discriminatory, but having a child is not an inalienable right.

Answer 19

well if he really wants a child, loose weight, eat healthy, don't know if there decision is right or wrong but it is there decision , so he must get his priorities straight

Answer 20

I think the adoption agency is right about this one. at some point it becomes hard for someone that size to even properly care for themselves let alone a child. I also thinkk that it is terribly difficult to teach proper eating habbits to a child when the parent doesn't lead by example.

Answer 21

that is awlful

Answer 22

I think that health issues are an important part of determining if a particular home is the best placement for a child. You wouldn't want the child to go through ANOTHER trauma of losing a parent, this time through death, would you? Or, even worse, learn the same poor health habits and end up having lifelong problems they might not have been genetically predisposed to have?

Answer 23

i don't thin khe shoul dbe able to adopt them. if you don't give people that big life insurance because they are a risk why give them a child. it's like saying ok this kid needs a home lets just stick him here even though the guy will probably die in 2 or 3 years. that will give us enough time to find somebody else to adopt him. kids shouldn't be pawns. adopted kids need stability and to know that where ever they are placed they will stay. adoption should not be a long term foster care system

Answer 24

by being that weight, I wonder how he would be able to keep up with all the needs of a child. When going through an adoption, the adoptee's usually go through a health screening, for the child's sake.

Answer 25

Morbid obesity is a serious health issue, and most agencies want to know a parent has a high likelihood of being alive for a good portion of the child's life, as well as have that life as free from the stress of drawn out illnesses as can be possibly predicted.

We had to get a medical clearance as part of our homestudy, and I think that's fairly standard for all adoptive parents. Serious or terminal illnesses, or recent cancers with a high chance of coming back can be cause for an agency, or the state even, to not approve you as adoptive parents.

Answer 26

They are not only looking at his weight, they are looking at his health, and if his health isn't good they will not put a child in that situation where they will be put back into the system because he isn't able to get around and do the things that parents have to do to raise a child.

Answer 27

If I were to do his homestudy, I am afraid I would have to turn him down based on the criteria:  "Reasonable life expectancy".  A child needs a reasonable chance that their parent will be there until they reach adulthood.

Answer 28

I found I ate worse when we had young foster kids in the house. One day, for example, I got home at 2 PM, and fed the kids around 6, put them to bed around 8ish, picked up the house a bit and sat down at the computer. My 12 year old was at a major league ball game that night and she came in at about 10, and when I was discussing the evening with her, I realized that all I ate since I got home was a half a pop-tart and a few bites of sandwich. And then I chowed. This behavior doesn't help one lose weight....

Answer 29

To be 500 pounds is to be seriously obese, that is to say, seriously ill and likely not to have a long life.  It may seem unsympathetic to the obese person, but is it really in the best interest of a child to give them to a person who may not be able to care for them long.  Not to mention, if the child is young, will this person be able to keep up with the child?  Act quickly if the child is in danger?  These are things an adoption agency would have to consider.

Answer 30

I'd be more concerned that he is a single man adopting rather than his weight.

Answer 31

Adoption is not about finding children for parents, but parents for children.  Meaning, its supposed to be about the children not the parents.  

This means they are trying to find the best possible parents for the children.  A severly obese man or woman will have a hard time keeping up with their children, and unfortunately, will more then likely die at a much younger age, possibly leaving the child an orphan again.  Which is something that you have to agree is not in the best interest of the child.

Its unfortunate that he was turned down for adopting, though I am sure there are some adoption programs that will accept him.  Or, if he is dead set on adopting, it gives him something to look forward to and gives him a reason to start losing some of his weight.

I totally see where the agency is coming from though.