well this is a boyfriend matter. i have been with my boyfriend for 5 years now. we have had a baby together also but our son passed away about a year and a half ago. it was a really hard time for me and i think him also but more for me.he had a few jobs in the past year but got fired because boss wanted to hire different guys to pay them less..messed up ya i no but thats wat happened. anywho this year in may his cousin got jumped where he lives, which is in queens, ny, and his cousin came to the bronx and was staying at my boyfriends parents house because my boyfriends mom which is his aunt took him to the hospital and told him what to do about the whole situation. theni guess my boyfriends cousin had a job for him where he was working which is in queens so my boyfriend was supposed to spend the night in queens to go with his cuz to the job but then he said that if he came back to the bronx that it wouldnt make nay sense because he would get out of work at 6 or 7 then get to the bronx like 9 or 10 then have to get on the trainback at 5am so evryday doing this would be hassling i would imagine so they decided they were gonna stay together and now they have a 3 bedroom apartment in queens where they split the rent with the two of them and one more guy. im confused as to if he knew from the start that he was gonna be moving there and tried to break it down easy or if it jus happend like that or both but now he has a good job and hes saving money and workin evryday and paying rent which im proud of him for doing from what he used to do. i trust him and i thought everything was good but i just missed him and started to feel lonely. now this past sunday his cuz ex girl i spoke to brecause i couldnt get thru with him on the phone and she lives in queens so i wanted to know if she spoke to any of them and knew where they were and she started to tel me that she broke up with the cuz that how none of the guys in that apartment dont go to work and they go on the main ave and try to pick up girls and bring them to the house and get them drunk and do whatever with them and that she seen my bf with some other girl and she looks better than me and that one time she went ot the house at 3 am and she seen him downstairs and he was like that hes waiting for his girl that shes ina cab and he dont know what could happen to her that she could get raped and hes worried and i know that that wasnt me so i waslike heartbroken to hear this and i astarted balling and she was like stop crying that im wastingmy time with them that they all talk about me and say that ima crackhead an that i be playing games with him and that hes wasting his time with me and she said she heard this from his cousin who heard it from him. i was like so heartbroken becaus eim ot a crackhead and hes the one whos always coming baq to me wen im ready to let go of him. its like we jus end up baq together somehow but i really do love him and i think he was trying to change for us and himself but tnow i heard this an dit makes sense to me. so i finally got to speak to him and he said that that girl is lying and that he didnt do anything and that he goes to work and that that girl is trying to create problems in the house between the guys and there girls because shes heartbroken because his cousin dont want her anymore and his cousin was the one who was doing that stuff and she would find out bc she would hear message son his phone and she caught him with another girl in the house before.but like the things that she said sounds true about what his family thinks about me and how me and my boyfriends realatonship was going so it got me thinking like how would she know that stuff that it had to be true that he was saying that and hes claiming that were broken up but i dont know about it and when i talk to him hes like he loves me at the end of the conversation and he told me that hes afraid of losing me since we dont see eachother that much anymore nad we dont tlak toeachother all the time like we used to..im jus like totally confused and i been feelin glike S**t like im too ugly and too skinny and like i duno wats wrong with me and wat do other girls have over me i mean evrybodys differnt and its really up to the guy to pick what girl he wants to be with because there ar plenty of girls but hteres also plenty of guys . i dunno what to believe or what to do if i should hold on or let go to evrything bc i dont wanna feel like this. i think i wanna jus be alone and if were meant to be than he'll come baq but im jus so confused because me and being alone dont go hannd in hand and i want evrything to work out but i just dont know what to do and how to go about evryday without this on my mind.adice from anyone who can realte or understands my situation wooul;d be greatly appreciated! i spoke to some of my girlffriends about this and they told me not to feel llik eim not good enough and and jus keep talking to him and let it flow but i don think i could just do that ....i unno..im so confused!!!!!!!!!!!
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