What do you have to say about this poem I wrote?

Question

Which way

Take my hand, lean on me.

Know my child, I'm always here.

Stay with me now, please don't fade.

There's someone I want you to see.

He was a man with a heart, so greatand so pure.

He took your place, your shame,

oh everthing you've ever done.

He didn't have to come down to earth and die

for all our souls.

Oh breath my darling, don't go now, let me hold you now,

just breath. Broken and abused, he died for me and you.

Your safe in his arms, if only,you belive.

Breath honey, breath.

Now look at me.

Which way will you choose, tonight.

Answer 1

Girl you are deep, and it's good to know that people still belive in him. keep up the good work :)

Answer 2

This is really... I guess the word is inspirational.  I'm not religious at all, but I still really enjoyed it.  I love the repetition of the word "breath."

I think though, that if I didn't already know what you were talking about, the line "He didn't have to come down to earth and die / for all our souls" would be confusing.  It seems to come out of no where.  You're explaining Christ to someone, so you should explain that he sacrificed himself, rather than assuming the listener already knows.

Answer 3

You have the same state of mind my mother has. You have what is probably now only moderate religious psychosis. You are probably one of those people who pray to God, and read the Bible every single day, like an addict you feed off the chemcials attached to the chatertistics attached to the notion of God.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delusion

Please seek actual help and renewal.

Answer 4

wow my gosh if they had a poem for the greates poems about god this would be in i t

Answer 5

I like this I love it when people use poetry to get through to people. God gave you a gift with words and its few and far between that people will actually use there god given ability's to help spread the word about him and how much he loves us. I commend you keep on doin what you doin

Edit; not to be snide but it irks me when people over think god and start coming up with psych terminology for us Christians who express or feelings and are just trying to spread his word through our talents that came from no one but him. life would be so much easier for people would just realize how simple it is god loved us so much he sent his only son to die on that cross for us and all he ask us to do is believe in him and never forsake him. sorry I just had to say something in regards to the psych terminology

Answer 6

That was......your guardian Angel~:)

nice poem

and don't let others comments get to you* Everyone has their own "higher power/beliefs"~ Keep on smilin*

glad you made it through what could have been a nightmare~ GodBless*