What do you make of this innapropriate situation from my boss?

Question

It wasn't a trip to let your hair down... it was in the afternoon! I expected them to have a few drinks, not get sloppy drunk. At least that's what I would do, but then again I have self-respect.

Answer 1

He probably is embarassed, and is worried you're going to tell people at work or not respect him now.

There's not much you can complain to HR about because he didn't do anything to you. Plus it was his friend who made the sexual comment, so while it was disrespectful, he doesn't work with you. What your boss does on his own time is his own business. With work trips there tends to be a more relaxed environment therefore people feel they can get away with more and act in a way they wouldn't if they were at the office. Everyone lets their hair down on business trips, it's the whole fun of it. Your coworker just went along to suck up to your boss and be "one of the boys". It's hard to get accepted into that crowd if you're a woman though, especially if you're not willing or able to roll with the punches. They obviously don't think of you in that way. If you don't want to be involved in those office politics the best thing to do is to remove yourself from the situation. Just do your work and leave, but don't let them take advantage of you like that.

It's unfortunate that they used you to be a designated driver, but let that be a lesson to you to not go on any more trips with them. What you've encountered is still very commonplace today...it's called the Boys Club. Men at work will ALWAYS stick together...the HR lady is right. If you complain to a higher up it will fall on deaf ears because they're friends.

If your boss likes to drink that's his business...if it's going to affect his job performance that's also his business. It's not affecting you in any way so leave it alone. I think a lot of people confuse their co-workers' personal lives with their job performance. Yes he could be a drunk or cheat on his wife or whatever, but it's not affecting you or your job (i.e. he's not yelling at you or treating you badly at work).

Again, it's unfortunate that you were put in this situation, but just don't let it happen again. If you do have to go somewhere, tell him you'll meet him there and drive your own car. That way you can leave right after. If you feel uncomfortable doing that, make up a reason why you have to leave right away (it's your mom's birthday and you have to be back for dinner).

Answer 2

i would confront him!

tell him i'm sorry but i find it rude how you treated me on that trip. your 100% capable of going to your own car to get what not! and to watch me leave!

i'm going to let this one slide just because  you were very buzzed but next time you want me to be your DD on a work trip.. call a cab cuz i do not feel comfortable with your new personality when buzzed or drunk!

i'm sorry for the confusion but please don't include me on your "Drinking nights"

Thanks!

Answer 3

You got problems!  If I were you and this is your Boss, go and register on Monster or Career Builder and get out.  This guy is a drunk and a wreck.  Good luck

Answer 4

He might be afraid that you will file a lawsuit. That is completely unprofessional and inappropriate. He might also be afraid that you'll tell his supervisor or go to HR. You are a stronger woman than I because I wouldn't put up with that nonsense. It is grossly inappropriate. It is really immature too. I can't believe that he's a boss. They must be desperate or he must have deep connections or he's good at pulling the wool over everyone's eyes. Unbelievable.

edit: Come up with an excuse. I'm sorry but I have a prior commitment.

Answer 5

Yes, he was justly embarrassed. If he asks you again, say no politely, and explain that you felt uncomfortable in the situation.

If he persists, go to Personnel if you have such, and tell them.

Answer 6

Yes, he is probably embarrassed.  

I would refuse to attend any other events if these people are going to be attending also.  

You did well in keeping your cool when faced with people who acted inappropriately.  Good for you!