What do you really think about....??

Question

WHAT DO YOU HONESTLY THINK ABOUT ONE OF THE POEMS I WROTE??.....

You say you love me….

You say you care…

If that’s so then why do I feel so alone?...

It seems that I don’t know you…

I thought I did…but I guess I just don’t…

I will never know you if you don’t give me a chance

I want to know you…

You apparently know me…

I don’t understand what you want me to do…

I’m just being myself…

I feel when you’re in pain…

I can see it in your eyes…

I can hear it in your voice…

It’s like I’m connected to you somehow…

But you don’t see it that way…

You just see it as…

You being alone, with only you to help yourself….

I love you...I want to help…please let me…

I’m trying to let you inside my hearts secrets and into my soul’s deep darkness….

So you know what I feel and think….

But that won’t work if I’m stuck in the dark….

Not knowing anything about how you feel…

About what’s wrong and what’s up…

…I’m sorry….

Answer 1

I like what it says but the way is set up I would say is a little confusing...it felt more like a note than a poem...

Answer 2

You describe the feelings of everyone on the planet at one time or another.  A little choppy, mushy, and it sounds that you are just "gushing" tears over puppy love.

Get deeper and don't show weakness!

Try it again.

Answer 3

Not bad at all.

but put it in stanzas four lines for each one.

makes it more organized.

keep writing.