What do you say or do when your friend says things like this?

Question

when your friend makes a rude comment about your parents like "oh your mom looks tierd..or your dad doesnt look like you.. wow" type thing.. like I HATE it when my friend says that she is one of my good friends and I just dont know why but she tends to cross the line ALOT when it comes to commenting other people about there looks.. and i try to stand up for my parents and stuff but it just feels wierd u know.. like what woudl you do?? what should i say? and do you think (what i said above) is offensive? or woudl you be offended if someone said that about your parents?

Answer 1

I think your being a little sensitive personally from what you have given us here as examples "or your dad doesn't look like you.. wow" is not offensive, its just an observation; just give your friends the message to lay off either way if its bothering you, if they are saying this in front of your parents then it might possible be rude but not necessarily offensive (it can be though based on the tone they use, but this sounds more like they are just very open and just say whatever is on ttheir mind).

I'm sure they will respect your wishes if they are your friends.

Edit:

One more thing I will add though, if you were to sit them down and tell them that saying  "your dad doesn't look like you.. wow" and that offends you and if they ask why, how would you respond back.

and remember this what I think from what little you have given me to work with.

Answer 2

Still stay close with your friend, but tell her that she has no right to talk about your parents that way. (IN A GENTLE TONE!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Answer 3

It's rude. You're not over sensitive! She's a nudge and I'd reconsider whether she's really a good friend and worth hanging out with. Do you want to be someone who puts up with rude people? If not, say something like, "It's rude to comment on my parents. You need to stop." and "It makes me feel X (uncomfortable, angry) when you say Y (she looks funny). You really need to stop doing that." If she can't or won't stop or doesn't see what you're getting at, I'd quit the relationship. People who say mean things suck.

I have to do this same thing this weekend with a grumpy friend with a temper like a 2 year old. Not looking forward to it!

Answer 4

Tell her straight to drop it.

Tell her, you don't like her rude comments and to please respect you and your parents. Tell her to look herself into a mirror and see if she's so perfect.

If she keeps being rude stop talking to her.

Answer 5

The examples you gave sound more like an honest foot in the mouth than maliciousness.  Maybe the best way to respond to such comments is just to say "Mm" and change the subject..

Answer 6

I would be pissed if anyone talked about my parents.  You should be pissed too.  Maybe find new friends.  She probably hates herself.  

Answer 7

Yep, your friend is offensive when she makes personal remarks about your parents. She sounds like a very insensitive person who would just as soon hurt your feelings. In my opinion, you would do well to rethink your relationship with somebody so rude.

In the short term though, you'll have to teach her some of the social skills her parents didn't bother with. When she says something rude, tell her "that's a hurtful thing to say, I can't think of a response and I can't imagine why you asked me that. Now let's drop the subject." Then drop the subject!

Answer 8

I used to hang out with this one beyotch who tried talking mess about my mom. I'm not her friend anymore and I say good riddance. Some people aren't even worth knowing their names.

One time she told me my mom needed to get a boyfriend and I informed her that my parents have been married for 36 years. That shut her up and she got really jealous.

Next time that girl says something go off on her. I bet she won't ever say anything again.

Answer 9

I don't think your friend was saying anything rude.

you're taking it too personally.