What do you say to your mother in law,when she asks for your newborn to spend the weekend with her?

Question

i'm totally against it because i want my time with MY BABY and i find it quite odd that she would ask that question without me suggesting it, this lady has already had her kids to bond with, why does she want mine and i'm totatally protective over my newborn and i don't trust her foster child because she has mental problems and has done some harmful stuff in the past....how can i tell my MIL that this can never happen

Answer 1

One word: NO. Just say it and be done with it. If she persists and demands to know why not, just tell her you are uncomfortable being away from your little one after working so hard to get him/her here.

Answer 2

Just tell her no.

Answer 3

I would say "I'm not ready for my child to stay away from me yet."  That's what I say and my oldest is 5 and still doesn't stay away from me overnight.

Answer 4

Just suggest that your baby stay the day with her. Explain to her that you would rather wait until the baby is older before he/she spends the night away from home.

Answer 5

no way

just say you aren't comfortable leaving your baby somewhere else right now.

i have no clue how people don't understand this or why anyone would suggest this who has had kids before!

Answer 6

Just explain to her that you're not yet ready to leave your baby with someone other than yourself.  Or explain to her than you're not yet ready to part with your baby and you're still bonding.

Answer 7

just say: "oh, no, i don't want to be apart from my baby. but you can have her for as long as you want when she's a teenager..."

then you can laugh at your little joke, haha....  

Answer 8

What would I say? "No."  Simple as that.

Answer 9

I would thank her for the thought, but the baby is much too young to be seperated from you for that length of time.  

Good luck!

Answer 10

"Oh, no thanks.. but it would be great if you could watch her some time when we want to go see a movie or out for a quiet dinner"...

Answer 11

just tell her ur planning on taking him with some of ur family member that want 2 meet him idk make something up

Answer 12

u could tell her that

when u and your husband go away u will be the first one i call to take care of the babby

just not right now i mean its my first child and i wanna spend time with it  

Answer 13

she is not ready for sleepovers yet! hello she is not a toddler. My own mom asked me this and i said no, straight up! She needs mommy all night! She is not a toy or an entertainment device. She is a newborn. PS  you dont need an excuse. the answer is NO

Answer 14

Explain to her that this is an important time for your family you dad and child!!!!!TO bond and that she is welcome and encouraged to VISIT but the baby stays home .She may think you want need ect. rest and you do but not with the stress of baby being gone ask her to make hubby his favorite dinner and bring it over for family meal and if you are nursing there is your out.Let her know you care that she has bonding time but at his home not hers it is just to stressful

Answer 15

I would say "I appreciate the offer but I would really rather not."  Then if she asks why I would say, "because I am not ready for her to spend the night away from me yet."  Then if she can't except that and asks again then I would just keep saying the 2nd thing.  

Don't you let that baby go anywhere that you do not feel comfortable with.  Follow your instincts.  

Answer 16

I understand that your very protective of your baby right now, and you want to make sure you get enough bonding time as possible. But you do need to take into consideration that she is the grandmother, and this is something all mothers look forward to, the moment they get to be a grandmother, so she is extreamly excited and proud of her grandbaby.

I do agree that she should simmer down on the request for having your baby for the whole weekend.

I would tell her that you would feel more comfortable for now if she maybe just watched your baby for the day, rather then the weekend and over night. This way you will have some time to yourself to catch up on some zzzz and you can pick your baby up at the end of the day, and get back to your bonding time.  

Answer 17

Tell her you will let her in a few months

At this time, you want to keep the new born at home, but she is more that welcome to come over and see her anytime

A lot of parents, do not let newborn over night

Answer 18

I would just flat out explain. Say "No I'm Sorry I am not ready to leave her alone yet for that amount of time." She should understand and I'm sure she just wants to get to know her little grandchild and maybe just want s to give you some time off. Offer her the option to maybe watch the baby once a week, so you can go to the grocery store, or to luch with a friend.

Answer 19

I can't believe that she would ask such a thing!  I would tell her that you are not comfortable with anything that long.  It is a baby.  Let her know that maybe you can discuss it again when the child is older, but you just don't feel comfortable with it now.  Don't promise that she will be able to in the future, but let her know that you can discuss it.  Maybe even say when he/she is 2 to give her a guideline so she isn't asking again in a month.  Good luck!

Answer 20

tell your husband to say no! its his mother he should deal with her

i let my kids stay over (worst mistake)

today I'm divorced and she refuses to let me see them (all three of them)

all mother in laws are obsessed with their grand kids and don't know where to get off !

once you allow it its an open door for evil!  

Answer 21

I would tell her that you are very uncomfortable leaving your baby.  She may have good intentions at heart - like giving you a break.  But simply tell her that you are really enjoying your time and that you will let him stay over when the time is right.  

Don't worry i have the craziest MIL ever.  She tried convincing me that it was a good idea to drop off my baby on Sunday and then not pick up again until Thursday night... i know, shes nuts.. good luck and congrats!

Answer 22

I would just tell her NO. that your baby is still very young, and you dont feel that your child should be away from you that long. Just be calm and nice about it. It's not rude, its your baby. plainly just come out and say it. Sorry but no. I told that to my son's father's mother. There was just no chance right now. Maybe when he got older. but this is my first baby, and i dont want to miss a thing. just be blunt and straight forward. if she takes it the wrong way, thats her own problem

Answer 23

Simple: NO.

She should know better. Who would ever expect someone to part with their NEWBORN for a whole weekend?? My daughter is nearly a year old and has never been away from me for more then a few hours. Are you breastfeeding? That would be a good excuse to refuse nicely. I didn't breastfeed so I couldn't use that as an excuse..I just said "no, I'm not ready for that. I'll let you know when I am". They'll be waiting awhile..I'm still nowhere near ready to leave my baby for more then a couple hours.

Edit: You don't need to be rude to her, just tell her nicely but firrmly that your baby is far too young to be away from you and that you'll let her know when you're ready for such a long visit. (That way she won't repeatedly ask you about it).

You don't need to feel obliged to do anything you're not comfortable with when it comes to your child.

Answer 24

I was going to say you should say thanks.....until I read the foster child that did harmful stuff in the past. I too was pretty defensive about people spending time with MY baby but I am coming around. I see how much she adores her and grandmothers are important too. Besides, my fiance and I would get our alone time and go to the movies. We would probably stop by and check on her though.

Maybe she asked you because she's trying to give you a break and get to know her grandchild a little. I actually wouldn't ask my MIL because I don't want to impose. Seeing that you feel so strongly about, just tell her that you don't feel comfortable spending such a long time away from your baby. If she doesn't understand that then she is not a very nice person.

And if your newborn is only a few weeks old, then she really has no right to ask. I understand what you are saying.

Answer 25

I just told my sister in law that I am not comfortable with that yet.  My mother in law does come spend the night at my house in order for her to spend time with the baby and for us to both get a full nights sleep every once in awhile.