What do you tell a friend that just found out her 16yr old son is on drugs? What will help him? ?

Question

What do you tell a friend that just found out her 16yr old son is on drugs? What will help him? ?

Answer 1

I think the most effective thing that this boy needs to know is that there are consequences for his actions. If he knows that he will not have the TV, Internet service, use of the car, or all the other things he thinks he can't live without if he continues to do drugs then he'll see what a huge trade-off he's making.

If he sees it as a bad deal where he'll lose much more than he thinks he's gaining by using drugs, then he might rethink the whole idea. If life goes on like before, then why wouldn't he just do as he pleases. No consequences, so what has he got to lose.

That is the way I would deal with it. He'll throw huge whining fits and make threats to leave when the TV disappears from his room, the internet service is blocked for him, and his cell phone is taken away but the parent has to stick to the limits they've set. If they don't, the drug user will only see them as a sucker that can be manipulated.

Teens are always demanding trust from their parents. He has proved himself unworthy of trust and should have to really change his ways for quite a while to get it back. Your friend will have to search his room and his possessions for signs of continued drug use. Kids will swear up and down they're not using when many times, they still are.

Once he's 18, your friend can do nothing but if she takes a hard line now then the situation could turn around before he fries his brain with drugs permanently. I've seen it happen both ways.

Answer 2

Your friend is probably devastated and worried, embarrassed.

All you can really do for her is be a friend to her.  She is probably blaming herself as moms we tend to blame ourselves when a kid is hurting.

You say he is "on Drugs" what does that mean, did she find a bag of pot, pills, or is he an addict?  

Drugs affect the whole family and her son may need help in kicking the habit if he has been doing it for a long time.

You can tell your friend that it isn't her fault and just be there to support her.

As far as what will help him... He needs to want to not use, that is the only thing that can help him, counseling, rehab and ongoing treatment.

Drug users/seekers will lie and steal to get their fix, so it really depends on how much and what he is using.

Answer 3

It is very important that your friend nip it in the bud now.  At 16 he might be experimenting, but it could turn into a habit.  Rule are huge part.  Punishment, curfew, church.  If all else fails, relocate.  if the 16 yro can get the drugs, they can't do them.