What do you tell your husband when he wants another baby?

Question

i'm not ready for one yet. i just gave birth!! as in yesterday!! today he asked, so when can we start trying for another baby, in about 4 weeks??i was shocked at this question. i honestly do not want another baby right now, i just got through delivering this one!! i mean, sure, i want more kids, but i dont want to start trying for another one until andrew is about 10-12 months. i dont know why my husband wants one when we have so many things with andrew to look forward too. andrews not even back from the hospital yet and he still has about another 3 months in NICU. we didnt even get to bring him home yet and my husband is thinking about another child? he's not the one that has to carry him/her for 9 months! am i right here? why do you think he is already thinking about more kids, but when i first go pregnant with andrew, we werent planning on having kids till we were married for two years!? what is up with him? how do i tell him politely that i just dont want another child this soon?

Answer 1

I had this same situation with my husband wanting another baby right away.  I pushed it off but my son is 12 months and 3 weeks and I am 19 weeks pregnant.  But this is number 4 and I only did it now because I am in my 30's and I don't want to wait to long but this is the last and I will close shop and he knows this.

I hope everything is ok with the little one and you and your husband will come to an agreement

Answer 2

You know what.... my husband did the same thing right after we had our daughter. And I mean as soon as she was born too. He even wanted a boy at first (when we first found out I was pregnant), but after she was born, he kept saying, "Let's give her a little sister." Well, I did tell him that I wanted to wait at LEAST a year. He was fine with that. So, then he kept telling everyone that by our daughter's second birthday, we would be having another one. By that time though, he agreed to wait until she was out of diapers. LOL She is three now and I'm pregnant with our second (praying that everything goes well because I miscarried in March).

Just tell your husband, not yet, slow down. I'm sure he'll understand like mine did. Congratulations on your new baby!

Answer 3

Tell him to go give birth and get back to ya.  Or better yet, smack him upside the head.

Answer 4

Tell him you want more kids but it isn't safe for your body to start trying so soon. You will be happy to start when your body has had enough time to get back to normal. That is unless he would like to carry this one. Maybe when you bring Andrew home and the hard work sets in he will lay off a little.

Oh yeah, congratulations mama!

Answer 5

tell him that your body isn't even healed yet from the first child and you need to wait.  When the baby comes home from the hospital and he sees how much work is involved with a child he will agree (hopefully) to wait a year or more.  Can you imagine having 2 children in diapers at the same time?

Answer 6

Just flat out tell him your not ready.  Lets let this one develop and lets see how we do as parents.  Why rush?

Answer 7

He's a man, so my first thought is that he is not asking when you can have another baby, he is asking when you can try, meaning, "When can we have s*x!!"

I think 6 weeks is how long you have to wait until you have intercourse (despite having 3 kids I can't remember for sure, lol).

Just tell him, "Honey, if I get a clean bill of health in 6 weeks we can start practicing, but I don't want to get pregnant again for at least 10 months."

Btw, I asked my hubby when we could have the next one within minutes of having each baby.  But that's because I loved being pregnant, I love babies, and I was also trying to say, "Don't look so worried, I'm fine, the delivery wasn't that bad."

Answer 8

The research for men getting pregnant is looking pretty good, so he might not have to wait that much longer :O)

Answer 9

Perhaps he was just joking with you - trying to get you all riled up - which apparently worked!  I would just come right out and tell him - no.  Unless he wants to carry the next baby - no.  Not no as in never, no as in let's wait a year or two buddy!

Answer 10

Ok I am guessing you want another one, so you need to talk to your husband.  Tell him that you do want another child, just not right now.  That you want to spend time with Andrew, and wait until he is about a year old, and then try for another.  You just need to talk to him.

Answer 11

honestly if your truely comfortable in your relationship you should be able to tell him without having to worry about what hes thinking and he should completely understand..I mean, come on, youve literally just pushed out a baby...In 4 weeks you'll still be recovering...(good lord, the thought)...(I have a 2 year old..i know what pain your in)...

On the other hand...are you sure that he was actually serious??..i mean i dont know your husband but knowing my husband...hed say something like that to kinda make fun of the situation...like you know that whole...'hun i know that youve just had a baby and your pretty sore down there but can we try for another baby anyway'....just to purposely make me go...'WHAT THE h**l!...are you retarded!!'...but then hed be like..'Im only kidding babe..hahaha'

do you get what i mean???...I mean some guys..(like my guy) would say something like that to almost just amuse themselves with our reaction...In another sense, he probably is just asking when its alright to have s*x again without being so loud about it...

but yeah..if he is seriously wanting another baby just tell him...you know what to say and how to say it...you have legit reasons and they should be reasons for him to also wait a while...one of the first pieces of advice my mother and father gave me when i had my son was to wait a little while before i had my next baby...reason being, if you have another baby too soon, the attention from the first baby is shifted to the new baby, therefore your first baby may feel neglected...as you will soon find out.. it takes alot of energy to take care of a baby... you will bearly be able to take care of yourself!!...(mum had me and then her 5th child, my youngest brother, 7 years later...)

Im sure you'll be fine and that your husband will understand...Im sure he loves your baby just as much as you do and would want to treasure all the precious moments youll experience together with your son before you both have another one...good luck...congradulations and wishing you all the best with your new baby!!:):)

Answer 12

I'm trying to think of why he would even be thinking of another baby while your precious preemie is on day two of life and in the NICU!! I saw your earlier posts and that you delivered at 30wks... When my baby was born early (granted, 4wks earlier than your baby) all my husband and I could do was think of Ethan and pray that he would do well and not come across any problems!! I can't believe that your NICU baby isn't the only thing on his mind right now. I know I'm coming from a different place on this than most people, but it really bothers me that he's thinking of baby number two already.

Have you thought of possibly talking to your Doctor about this and having him/her say something to the both of you about waiting until the baby is home and things have settled down before trying for another child? Not only for your health but for your other baby as well? That way maybe your husband will take what is said to heart and not burden you with thoughts of going through this again so soon...

Just want you to know that I am praying for your sweet baby and for you! I know how difficult it is to watch your baby in the NICU and not get to bring them home. It will be hard, but God willing, you will bring your son home and enjoy life together!

Answer 13

Tell me that you want to wait until the baby has been home for a few weeks before you start to talk about when you'll be ready for the next one. Perhaps since he has not experienced the reality of caring for a newborn, he thinks it will be easy!

Answer 14

Maybe this was just his way of asking when it was safe for you to have s*x again. He didn't want to just come out and say that though. Just tell him what you have said here. You just had this one and there are problems you want to get him home so you can bond and spend time together and let him get bigger and see how things are going to go with him before you rush out and have more. Waiting until he is a year old is a good space. My kids are 20months apart and they get a long great. and it isn't as hard as everyone makes it sound.