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Bad: You can't find your vibrator.Worse: Your daughter "borrowed" it.Bad: You find a p**n movie in your son's room.Worse: You're in it.Bad: Your children are sexually active.Worse: With each other.Bad: Your son's involved in Satanism.Worse: As a sacrafice.Bad: Your wife wants a divorce.Worse: She's a lawyer.Bad: Your wife's leaving you.Worse: For another woman.Bad: Your wife's leaving you.Worse: To join a convent.Bad: You're arrested.Worse: By your husband.Good: Your postman's earlyBad: He's wearing camos and has an AK-47.Good: You came home for a quickie.Bad: So did the postman.Good: You came home for a quickie.Bad: Your wife walks in.Good: You get tickets for the theater.Bad: It's performance art.Good: Your boyfriends exercising.Bad: So he can fit in your clothes.Good: Your car conveniently "runs out of gas"Bad: For realGood: Your daughter is on the pill.Bad: She's 11.Good: Your neighbor exercises in the nude.Bad: He weighs 380 pounds.Good: Your uncle leaves you a fortune.Bad: It's counterfeit.Good: Your wife meets you at the door nude.Bad: She's coming home.
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