What do you think? I wrote it let me know please :)?

Question

Since the day we are born

We are one in the same

Nothing changes

Name to Name

Race to Race

Face to Face

We are one in the same.

Yet we accuse

we abuse

we kill

we lie

Day to day

But nothing will change.

Even if we are one in the same.

You have your ideals

I have mine.

Nothing to fight over.

We stand face to face

One in the same

You say no

I say why

Just because your ideals

Differ from mine.

From race to race

From name to name

We will stay one in the same.

War to war

Nothing changes

Just another name

Another face

Another race

Another name

Another brother

Another Sister

Another Mother

Another Father

Another Son

Another Daughter

Gone, because this wont change.

Death to death

We all end up the same.

Face to face

Race to Race

Name to name

We are one in the same.

Yet you dont stop.

You wont change.

Agree to change

and we wont end up the same.

Since the day we are born

We will be one in the same

Name to Name

Face to Face

Race to Race

We will be one in the same

If we dont change.....

Answer 1

The phrase you are trying to use is not "one in the same." One in the same what? I believe the phrase you want is "one AND the same."

You've used all sorts of contractions, yet there are no apostrophes. This is just wrong. Google "contractions' and "apostrophes".

Your use of capital letters makes no sense. Either be consistent in  usage, or don't use them at all.

Other than that, there is simply nothing here that hasn't been said before and said better.  You might want to Google "trite" as well.

Sometimes the truth hurts, but every writer simply has to learn to accept criticism and draw from it as necessary. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings, but you DID ask.

Kabum

Answer 2

That has got to be one of the greatest and most meaningful poems I have ever read in MY ENTIRE LIFE!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my gosh!!!!!! That was AMAZINGG!!!!!!! I got a TON of inspiration from your poem! WOWOWOWOW!!!! I love this! Its absolutely FABULOUS! Keep writing more!!! :)

If anyone says anything mean about it then dont listen to them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...