What do you think? Is this just my "disorder" or do I really have reason to feel this way?

Question

Let me just start out by saying I have ADHD and undiagnosed Bipolar disorder. I am 21 years old.

I work Mon - Fri 8 hours a day. I make $13 an hour. My boyfriend keeps having his hours cut most of the time only working 16 hours a week at $10 an hour. This makes it hard come bill time. I want a house and cats.

(We have lived in a apt for almost a year that does not allow pets. I have owned cats everyday of my life before this move.)

Our friends (also 21) are unemployed and do nothing all day. They have a house and 9 cats. The females mother pays for it.

(I love our friends to death though despite the fact)

Last night my bf was at their house til 12:30 (I left early because I had work in the morning). I got upset because for some reason him staying out while I was at home ~alone~ triggered all of these things above to come flowing into my mind in one big emotion.

Am I wrong for being upset that even though I go to a decent job everyday and I don't get to hang out with my friends all the time (like I want to) and that I can't have cats and that we don't have enough money to get a house?

Answer 1

You just feel that you're being cheated a little bit by having the pressure of the bills falling more heavily on you and having to be the more responsible one.Trust me when I say this is a normal thing.I work a full time job and all the overtime I can get while my gf works a part time job and it can be frustrating trying to make ends meet and get ahead.This is something that usually men run into more than women but whatever way it goes it can lead to problems with the pressure of finacial burdens.Just talk to your bf and let him know how you are feeling.The main thing in any relationship is communication.

Answer 2

It is perfectly normal for you to feel the way you are, disorder or not.  You are being responsible, and working toward having what you want in life.  To have your bf taking it easy, staying up all night, having fun while you have to support the both of you would drive anybody to resentment.

Basically, if he is working, and is trying to get as many hours as possible and contributing equally to the relationship, you will have to deal with what you are feeling by understanding that he will find something else, and he is not taking advantage of you.  If, however, he is being a slacker, and not pulling his weight while you bust your butt, it's time to cut him loose, 3 years or not.  

If you work hard, you will be able to have what you want.  You can look for another apartment that allows pets and get a cat.  I wouldn't think having 9 would be a good idea, but 1 is doable.

Answer 3

You are not wrong. they all need to get a real job. i bet they smoke pot!

Answer 4

I would be pissed also.

dont worry.

your out working with a better paying job,

wich also sopports him, and hes with friends.

be mad.

i would be

Answer 5

This has absolutely, 100%, NOTHING to do with your disorder!  You have every right to be upset; I'd be pissed off too.  Basically, you're the bread winner of the house, and that's a lot of responsibility.  I think it's disrespectful of your boyfriend to stay over at your friend's house when you had to go home; it's not like you WANTED to go home, you HAD to, and he should have supported you.

As for feeling a bit jealous toward your friend whose mother pays her rent, don't be.  At some point, the umbillical cord will be cut, and she'll have nothing.  At least you have life experience, and you're working hard.  One day, she'll wake up and realize she's not a child anymore, and that the real world isn't sitting around and playing with cats all day.

You will get through this; just keep working hard, and tell your man he MUST get a full time job; right now, he's riding on your coat tails.

Answer 6

It is a human reaction.  Life isn't fair.  But I will tell you one thing, we are all here to learn, and if we learn in the first part of our lives, the second half is a lot easier.  I can honestly tell you, that one day, when you're friend's mom is no longer able to take financial care of her, she will be in financial dire straits, whereas you on the other hand will know how to go out and earn a living.  You reap what you sew.  It may sound silly, but now that I am 60, I look back and see that its true.  I can also tell you that the very best things in life are free, and they are the all that you can take with you when you end this life.