What do you think? Isn’t this just awful? (dealing with the opposite s*x)

Question

I met a guy at the gym last week. He approached me with interest as I was getting ready to leave. He wasn’t really my type but I talked to him anyway.

After 2 minutes of conversation, he really turned me off. First, he did not have enough vocabulary to carry on a conversation. He couldn’t express himself and he was like “what do you call it, what do you call that thing” when he couldn’t think of basic words. This happened like several times. There was really no excuse for this. English is his first and only language.

If that wasn’t bad enough, he was constantly using profanities. Curse words do not offend me and I actually curse a lot myself out of habit. However, I think it was poor taste on his part being that he just met me. I was speaking normally around him because I didn’t know him.

And then it got worse: he started talking about going to the gym so he could become better in the bedroom. Except he didn’t say it in the delicate terms I just used. He used a lot of crude language I won’t even post it here because it was that disgusting. I was so offended by that as I had just met him. It was so inappropriate. I told him that and he apologized. At that point, I abruptly ended the conversation and went about my business.

Is this bad or is it just me? It seems like I'm always meeting ill-mannered men of some sort. I carry myself with a lot of class. I don't dress or act S****y. Is this the norm nowadays or is it just my terrible, awful dumb luck with guys? What should I do?

Answer 1

Be glad they do that sort of ignorant thing. They are letting you know right up front what morons they are - which gives you a chance to avoid wasting time on them. Shoot, its the ones that have a better disguise that give me trouble....

Answer 2

I think that your first paragraph spoke volumes. You basically said you blessed him with letting him speak to you. I agree he sounds like a jerk. But sounds like you already sized him up as a jerk before he opened his mouth. I agree on passing on this one. But perhaps you should bring your tones down some. Sounds like your being a bit snotty. You barely spoke to him yet you know English is his ONLY language? Just sounds like you have a high and mighty attitude. I have no reason to lie to you, just something you might want to consider.  

Answer 3

this is not a question. anyhow, you should go on a date, you never know he could be a great guy.  

Answer 4

Yes, some of us just attract the real gems. Like me, for example, I have been hit on by a guy who referred to himself as "squirrel" but he pronounced it "skwerrrrrrrrl" like he was trying to be ghetto or something but he was white, I was pursued for a few years in high school by a guy who called himself"the night creature" and thought he could penetrate people's dreams, a guy who ended up being a creepy pedophile, once I got on the bus and the driver asked me for a free show, and i didn't understand so I was like "What" and he thought he;d seen me strippping at a local strip bar when I can't even dance to save my life. All the guys really that have ever liked me (besided the one I'm with RIGHT NOW) or wanted really anything to do with me have basically been your run of the mill psychos. Not like I'm hideous or anything, I think I attract the crazies because somehow they can SENSE that I;m too nice to interrupt their insane life story to get the h**l away from them, even though they are crazy, I don't want to hurt their feelings/ So yeah, I've certainly had my fair share of dumb luck with guys, but finally I found a good one! So hang in there:)

Answer 5

Taken down to it's most basic of elements the dating /mating process is nothing more than an ongoing series of "Stop " and either Continue " or Retreat" decisions

At the 2 minute mark in the conversation you should have made the decision to Stop and Retreat  because it was pretty damned obvious that there was no point in continuing.

I'm glad  that you abrubtly ended the conversation But I think that your action came about six stop signs too late

Answer 6

There's no way that we're not going to come across some real dummies in life.  You did what you felt was appropriate in the situation; and from what you say it appears that you weren't rude or insulting to him.  It's important for people to know that there are some boundaries in life and that not everyone needs or wants to know personal stuff like bedroom shenanigans.  Avoid people like this.

Answer 7

You acted appropriately.. the only thing I would think you have to think about twice.. sometimes a person.. not this one obviously, but some person might suffer from a speech impediment.. due to an accident or due to a head trauma so you should try to at first when someone talks a bit slowly and is searching for words not to always think everyone is dumb.. a person could have had a concussion.. he could have been born with a speech impairment in that case it's out of order to jump to conclusions this person is dumb. they may still be intelligent just have problems forming the words when speaking.. in your case he was a person with no class and you did the right thing.. as it was utterly inappropriate to talk to a stranger why he uses the gym for ''sexual reasons'' and to use profane language in front of a person one doesn't know is tactless and low class.. xx