What do you think? Please answerr?

Question

If i adopt two twin girls from China and then i have 4 or 6 more children (when i get wwaayy older) do you think the twin girls will feel awkward and left out ???

Answer 1

Are you Angelina Jolie by any chance? Cos she likes adopting kids from different countries and now complains that she finds it hard to cope!!

Answer 2

If they grow up as a family, they will not feel as awkward as if you adopt them after you have many kids.

But it all depends on them.Some don't mind and some do.

Have you thought about adopting foster kids in america? there are thousands that need homes.

Answer 3

It is definitely possible to have a family that includes both biological and adopted children. As long as you find a balance of loving all of them equally but still addressing the unique issues each of them will face, no one has to feel left out.

I'm puzzled by your timetable here, though. You must be at least 30 to adopt from China, and must also be married. Your comments about having that many children after the adoption and your use of the word "I" instead of "we" suggests that you may not be aware of those requirements. If you start having biological children even after adopting from China at the minimum age of 30 (meaning you could be as old as 35 by the time you are matched,) your fertility will not necessarily hold out for 4-6 births. Especially if you wait till "way later," as you stated in the question.

I'm also confused by the mention of twins. Have you received a referral for a specific sibling group in China? If so, why is this all so hypothetical? Shouldn't you be pretty committed by this point, and if you aren't committed, is your agency not throwing up red flags?

If you do not yet have a referral, how are you certain of twins? The wait times for China for any child are quite long, usually several years but up to five-- if you're waiting for a pair of twins, you're probably going to be waiting an even longer time with a request that specific. You can't just pick your children to order from China; you would be given a referral from the Chinese authorities if you were approved to adopt, and getting a referral for twins may or may not be possible.

In adoption, you need to be more flexible about your requirements for what child you will accept. The children who need homes may not be ones who fit your exact desires like that.

Having both adopted and biological children in your family can work out fine, as long as you're intentional about addressing any problems that come up and don't sweep difficult issues under the rug. But I think for the rest what you mentioned, you need to do some more research, as you seem pretty unfamiliar with what the process actually involves.

Answer 4

They will feel a sense of being special. I was adopted by my foster parents who at the time were 44 and 48. My siblings were 15, 21 and 22. I get along with them better than my own peers and it helped me mature faster.

I felt special knowing I was wanted.  

Answer 5

Er, do you even know how long the average wait time is for China nowadays?

They no longer want to be known as the "baby exporting ultimum" or however you wish to call it.

Also, how are you going to manage enough money to adopt that many times? Are you aware that it can cost anywhere between $20000-$50000 just for one child - NOT including developmental and/or emotional delays?

Developmental delays can take years of training and counselling to get through. I would know, I had to do it all. And I was just ONE child to look after. Can you imagine how chaotic it would be to get twins and then a few more children?

You really need to put some thought into this.

http://sisterheping.wordpress.com/

Answer 6

No, never if you treat all children as equals.

I wish you a happy home

Answer 7

YESSSSS.... but you had better ask the girls first!!!

Answer 8

no,they will feel special because they were chosen!

Answer 9

So you plan on adopting the twin girls first, and than when you are WAY older?

Do you know that you cannot even apply to adopt from China anymore until you are 30?  And that the wait time is currently almost three years and growing?  So lets say you won't even get to bring home the twin girls from China until you are about 34.  Than you plan on having 4-6 more children?  After 34?  How much time do you plan on spending acclimating the twins to your household and your family?  How much spacing between children do you plan on having?  Let us say you wait a year, get pregnant with your first biological child.  So, you have your first bio child at around 36.  Than, if you wait a year to get pregnant between each child you will be having children at 36, 38, 40, 42, 44 and 46.  This is doable, but you are going to be really tired, and each pregnancy you will be considered advanced maternal age.  Which can cause MORE complications.  How fair is this to you, the children you have adopted AND the children you have biologically?  If you spend so much time being pregnant and raising babies, especially at an advanced maternal age, how good of a parent can you really be to the older children?  Especially to children who are adopted who may need more individualized attention than what you can provide.

And you can't adopt twins from China if you have a biological child first.  Twins usually only go to childless couples who make over 100,000 dollars a year AND have masters or higher degrees.  

Good luck.

I do not think you are thinking this through at all.

Answer 10

not if you love them all the same and tell them you love them very much.

take a look at mine and tell me what you think plz:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 11

um, why don't you start with your own 4-6 kids first, and then see how you feel about adopting later (after much more research)  

Answer 12

Kirk Cameron and his wife, Chelsea Nobel Cameron, adopted four kids before they had their own. Their thinking was, if they adopt first, those children will know they were chosen first.

I knew a girl in high school who once said that her parents used to tell her, "Other parents have to take whatever they get, but we CHOSE you!"

Go for it :) Let the adopted kids know that you chose them, then have more of your own!

Answer 13

Let's be clear...  You want to take two girls out of their country and their culture, and then have 4 to 6 more children so that you don't really have time to spend with all of them, and then you wonder if the girls will feel awkward and out of place?  

I think the answer is obvious.

Before adopting, I think you should do some reading to learn about the possible effects of adoption.  Here are some books to get you started:

* "Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self" by Brodzinsky, Schecter, and Henig

* "Journey of the Adopted Self" by Betty Jean Lifton

* "The Primal Wound" by Nancy Verrier

Answer 14

they're never going to feel normal, if they're adopted.  especially from another country.

how would you like to leave your country and go somewhere that no one espeaks english and you have no relatives?

Answer 15

Just dont rush into making your family grow. If you were to adopt these girls you would need to make sure they were feeling safe and secure and possibly even wait until they are able to sit down and talk to you about why they were adopted etc and then talk about why you feel you need other children as from experience from my life when my family had more children it felt like I wasnt good enough for them

Answer 16

I think any adoptees from another country will feel awkward and left out of society.  But as twins they will have each other to relate to.  I would think the other children would feel left out of the twins special relationship more than the twins would feel left out of any relationship with them, and being older they might be totally indifferent to the younger siblings.

I don't understand why you are premeditating two phases of families, or where the number groupings came from.