What do you think about a girl ring bearer?

Question

My boyfriend and I are talking about marriage...and we don't know any little boys. My twin nieces will be the flower girls...and he wants his little niece to the ring bearer. I suggest we don't even have one...it would be so weird having a girl as one. She wouldn't even carry the rings, and I just want as close as a traditional wedding I can. His feelings are hurt because his nieces aren't involved....but his two sisters are going to be my bridesmaids. How do I talk him out of this? What do you think of this?

Answer 1

I say let the niece be the ring bearer. There are much more important things to worry about when planning a wedding. I don’t think anyone would leave your wedding talking about the horrible violation of tradition that was the female ring bearer.

I think the idea is supposed to be that the ring bearer is a cute little kid. It doesn’t have to be a boy.

Answer 2

My dog was my ring bearer. I made her a harness with Velcro and attached a ring pillow I made. She was great!

Don't worry about etiquette, worry about what works for you and your fiance. Do what feels right!

Good Luck!  

Answer 3

There's nothing in the rule book that says a ring bearer has to be a little boy. The wedding police aren't going to burst through the church doors and  order you to cease and desist   if you have a girl instead of a boy.  Remember it's his wedding too,  if it means the  much to him I think a bit of  compromise might be in order here.

Answer 4

why don't u just have them as flower girls too?  

Answer 5

I guess I don't see the problem with this at all.  If your nieces can be involved, it doesn't seem fair that his niece can't be.  It would be so much for fun that little girl!  Just dress her like the flower girls.  Maybe she could carry the rings in a basket or something that would blend with whatever the flower girls are doing.  I think it would be a very sweet gesture to let his niece be involved in the wedding.

Answer 6

I don't see anything wrong with having a girl ring bearer. I really like the idea. Something different!  

Answer 7

I think it is fine to have little girls as ring bearers. I don't understand your views on "traditional" weddings. These so-called traditions didn't even start until the mid 1800's. Before that people got married out in the open - the church would not allow marriages inside because it had to do with (gasp!) s*x.

So all of the things that you think of as "traditional" are actually pretty new - because the church decided it could make money to charge people to have their weddings there.

It would be horrible to leave those little girls out and hurt your soon-to-be-husband's feelings.

(The Wedding Police - lmao)

Answer 8

I think that he has the right to be hurt. This is his wedding too and though mostly all of the focus is on you, he's probably had ideas in his head for a time about what he wants. On the TV show Seventh Heaven, Ruthie wore a tux to participate in her parents wedding and it was no less a celebration of their love. I'm not saying that his niece would have to wear a tux, but allowing her to participate in your big day is something that he's entitled to just as much as you are. If her being a junior bridesmaid really isn't something you can live with perhaps you two can strike a compromise by allowing her to give a reading, presenting your mothers' with flowers or even being a bride announcer. I saw an adorable wedding on a reality show where the bride was announced by a child with a bell and a loud voice. Yes it may not be strictly traditional, but it would be an attempt at having the wedding of both of your dreams.