What do you think about a woman who marries for companionship and s*x only! Not for money.?

Question

What do you think about a woman who not only wants an egalitarian relationship in marriage but who does not want to be provided for financially. What if she wants to buy the house and her own car. And what if she wants to buy her own groceries and pay her own bills as well. Do you think her husband would be okay with this. I don't want another father figure. My own dad was a control freak about money and I don't want to take the risk of feeling financially dependent ever again.

Answer 1

oh please show me one. its perfectly cool to me i wouldnt want it any other way.

Answer 2

I understand that you don't want a man to take care of you or be in control, but the last time I checked a marriage was a partnership.  You are suppose to marry for companionship, for love and for compatabilty.  I think that you are taking it to the extreme.  Love doesn't care about who buys the grocories...I wouldn't want to marry you.  It seems like you would get caught up in this is mine and that is yours and take all the fun out of love.

Answer 3

IT IS A WOMAN'S DUTY TO PROVIDE FOR HERSELF NOT A MAN'S DUTY.  Women must go out and get jobs for themselves.  Sometimes, alimony is justified but this business of one stealing from the other is ridiculous.  Would you want a man taking your house and fifty percent of your income?  Probably not.  As for kids, the men have visitation rights and if they pay child support they should get to see their kids.  Men must pay child support but it is not to be used for luxury goods, alcohol, dates, chocolates, videos, computers, etc.  It should be for the kids.  I'd like to see the courts force women to demonstrate what they spend child support on if it is called into question.  It could always be placed in a separate bank account and every transaction would have to be accounted for.

Answer 4

I think it is very rare.

Answer 5

If you feel this way, what I feel is you're too young to get married.

Answer 6

If that were the case, then many women would marry down in income.  There are plenty of "poor" men to be had.

It is fine as an ideal, but does not happen often in reality.  Out of all the married couples you know, how many women earn more than their husbands?  And don't think those women don't, in some way, mind having access to a little more money than what they earn on their own.

Answer 7

That's pretty much my ideal relationship right there; the last thing I want is some guy's money, even if it's the guy I love, hassle be damned. I think your husband would love you even more for this.

Answer 8

I think it's okay.

Answer 9

Thats a pretty sweet deal....when the divorce comes it will be easy to separate everything easily.

I have a question though:  You asked if you can buy your own groceries....so if your husband wanted to nibble on the groceries you bought, would he be allowed or does he have to have his own separate groceries that he paid for.  Just wondering.

If my wife said she wanted to pay for that, the first thing I would clear up is that issue with the groceries.  If she is cool with letting me have some of hers, then the situation is ideal.

Answer 10

My boyfriend is cool with it. Actually he loves it. I doubt he would like a dependent woman anyways.

Answer 11

OMG! A lots of man would want that kind of woman ,just s*x and companionship and the man is not obligated to support her. what about if she will have children,will she support her own children? That sounds like a Mistress but legal wife,holy toledo! I am confused !!!!

Answer 12

sign me up!

Answer 13

Well, I thought it was normal nowadays for both partners in a marriage to contribute financially.  However, I don't really see how you can keep everything rigidly seperate.  I mean, the house surely is for both of you, and the bills and grocery shopping also is surely for both of you, not just for you?

Personally, i am totally financially dependent on my husband, but he is not a control freak about money.  His salary is paid into a joint account, and I can spend as much of it as I like.  On the other hand,  I have heard of men who are very controlling about money even though they have wives who work.  I wouldn't guarantee that a man won't be a control freak about money even if his wife is earning.  This is something you would need to thrash out with the man concerned.

Answer 14

I wouldn't believe it. She could have plenty of s*x and all the companionship she wanted without a contract that entitled her to 1/2 his stuff.

Additionally, even if she had no interest in his money to begin with, what's to say she wouldn't change her mind later, you know like if she got pissed off or something .

Even a prenuptial grants her a portion of his property and can be challenged and beaten in court.

Prove you want to be with him by doing so without a binding legal contract.

Answer 15

Um, I guess you can do what you want, but it seems like a pain in the butt to have to worry about keeping all your bills and finances (and groceries!) separate. I don't want to be "taken care of" either, but I don't freak out making sure I'm paying for all my own stuff and he's paying for all of his. Our money is our money. It all goes to the same place. It's ok if once in awhile I buy the aftershave and he buys the tampons. ;)

Please don't take offense, but it sounds like you're on the verge of becoming a control freak about money, yourself. Be careful about that. Instead of worrying about where every penny is being spent and by whom, a better idea would be to just marry someone whose ideas about money are the same as yours. And make sure his name is not the only one on the lease/mortgage and bank account.

Answer 16

I think that woman will end up with a man she supports who spends all her money on beer and gifts for other women.

Answer 17

Haha i can't see a problem with a woman who doesn't want to leech off me, and actually wants to be in a relationship for companionship.

Answer 18

In my religion, the wife has her own money which she is free to spend however she desires. The husband is financially responsible for her, so his money is both of their money (he must provide her with shelter, food and clothing etc.

So if he is stingy and doesn't give her more than that, she has her own money to do whatever she wants. So may even elect to help her husband out, which my wife does because we love each other.

Answer 19

I'm cool with it.

Answer 20

I think that you may have whatever relationship you like, but to be honest I've been there and tried that. What ended up happening was that we were glorified roommates, he mooched off of me, the relationship went cold and loveless, and it ended on a very sour note. Now, just because it didn't work for me doesn't mean that it won't work for you, but here is the conclusion that I came to:

The thing is that just as a fulfilling relationship isn't all about material resources, it also is not all about s*x and companionship. It is a full partnership on all levels, and it should be an equal partnership. Certainly some bills will be all yours, and your partner need never see them, but that's a minute detail. My parents, for instance, have been married for 36 years and they each have their own separate accounts and one joint one. That's the way they've always done it, some things you do together, some you do separate.

The point is, in a good relationship no one is forced to take care of the other, but they are also not forced to do it all on their own. It is up to you to be self-sufficient, it is up to both of you to be supportive of each other. I really do believe that in a harsh world like this we are stronger when we put our resources together. Not because we can't carry ourselves, but because two equal partners working together on their goals can accomplish so much. And, anyway, just having someone around who brings little more to the table than s*x wears thin after a time. I hope this makes sense.

Answer 21

I think it is up to the couple to decide how they want to have companionship, s*x and pay bills. I find it amusing about people saying it's immature to want something other than tradition. It doesn't work for everyone.

Answer 22

It would be a better idea to marry a guy that doesn't have a controlling personality, even if you have your own money they may want to controll what your wear and who you talk to.

To me if you are serious about marriage it means that you should pool your financial resources, but everybody is different and you should find the sort of relationship that personally suits you best.

Answer 23

I think such a woman probably hangs out most of the time with the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus.

Answer 24

I agree with your opinion about not being financially dependent on him, but separating groceries is just silly.  That's just too much like college roommates.  When I was married, we kept separate checking accounts.  I wouldn't have had it any other way.  He did make a lot more money than I did, so he paid all the major bills, and I basically paid the grocery bill with what I made.  I would suggest if the couple is relatively equal in their earnings, they arrange to split the bills... you pay this, I pay that, etc. Paying for her own car is fine, I myself would not suggest her buying the house alone, after all, if they split, it's going to be split anyway regardless of whose name is on it.  If you want it that way, buy the house while you're still single, so it's yours alone and not subject to community property.   But forget the grocery idea.

Answer 25

I have an aunt and uncle who are in their third marriage, this is the arrangement they have:

They each have separate checking and savings accounts, and one joint checking account.  The joint checking account is used to pay house bills, groceries, and other things they are both invested in and both use equally.  Each deposits an equal share into the shared account every two weeks (pay day) and they seem to avoid financial complication this way.  With their separate accounts they can buy their own clothing, gifts for one another, and make other such personal investments (individual cars).

In your situation, you would be independent, but your husband would be the dependent if the house was solely in your name.  He could have his own car and his own groceries, but would be living in your house.  If the bills were also in your name, it may make him feel as if he were simply a roommate (someone who pays rent and utilities to you)- not your husband.

Answer 26

If you start out wanting to be separate, you will never be "one".

I think if you are scared as one of the above stated just don't marry a controller and keep your job as well as a financial backup like a stocks, 401's... ect.

But marriage means trusting, sharing, walking the path together.

If you can't trust a man then don't marry him.