What do you think about changing a childs name under these circumstances

Question

I may be adopting a beautiful biracial 1 year old.......('ll come back to this)

CNN did a report (black in america) on white men with a felony conviction was still 2 times more likely to get a job over a black men without a record! That often times an employer will look at a job application to determine if the name sounds "ghetto". Often times these guys dont get a chance to plead their case because employers have already written them off just because of their name...

I also saw on tv that when black ppl apply to get an apartment, often times the apt. manager will look at the name on the Application & reject that person right on the spot (without even meeting with the person to she how he or she would be)

This child has a very 'unique' sounding name.... Some people would certainly say it's "ghetto".... I am a woman of color so i know 1st hand about discrimination....To some white ppl, they might say "whats the big deal? it's only a name"... But when you're black, your name could cost you big time....

Answer 1

I guess it's up to you.  Can you find a name that's very similar to the child's current name, because s/he most likely knows his/her name by now and could get confused.  My daughter is biracial and we chose a name that I think sounds race-neutral, if that makes sense, because I don't want her to be prejudged on paper.  You will be the parent, so this will be your choice.  Best of luck!

Answer 2

I agree with reauno, James Marcus is a great name. I'm prejudiced as my son's name is James.  

Answer 3

I like that you are just taking the middle part of his name.  I'd even spell it "Marc" not "Mark".  You are looking out for his well being and I say you should do what you think is best for your child.  :-)

Answer 4

i think that if you feel changing this childs name will help her succeed in life then i think you should go for it.  

Answer 5

I would start with changing your own name McKlan.  

Answer 6

You could change his first name and then have Jamarcusson as his middle name so he still has that part of his hearatige.

Answer 7

YES change it.black people are not the only ones who give their kids ghetto, made up, misspelled names.you said he is biracial which means most likely he had a white mom who gave him this awful name.i have said many times how unfair it is to a child when someone gives them a unique name.its not unique its cruel,selfish and dumb!

a first name makes a strong first impression especially on paper.

give the child a chance give him a gender appropriate, correctly spelled name.it is more impressive and commands respect where the other name would be a source of problems.its true and that is a fact! good luck!

Answer 8

I think that would be fine. I like the fact that you are still keeping part of his name, I don't see anything wrong with doing that at all.  

Answer 9

How very ironic. As much as you try to be "For Change" deep inside I suspect your a little racist. Fascinating.

Answer 10

It sounds like you already think it's best, so just go for it!  You could also use Marcus.  That way he can choose to go by Mark oir Marcus - like maybe when he's older he'll like Marcus better.  Alot of times our name is really the first impression someone gets- so I can see where you're coming from.  My name is typically a guy's name, and it used to be very frustrating for me.  

Answer 11

In some cases that is true. But I wouldnt change his name. Stand up for what you believe in.

Answer 12

changing the name doesnt change the race

Answer 13

When we adopted, we considered changing our son's first name also because it was "unique" and we were afraid that he might face ridicule as he got older for having a "weird" name.  What we decided to do with regards to his first name was to keep it but that if he started having trouble with it, we would shorten it to a nickname.  This way, he would still have the original name, but be called by a nickname which would be a shortened version of it.  

I realize that you are also concerned because of racial issues and the discrimination he may face.  It's sad that you must think that way, but kudos to you for considering it.  In the end, you must do what you feel is best for your child.  Could you switch his first and middle names so that his name would still be intact to some degree?  I do like the suggestion of shortening it to Marc.  You might even be able to shorten it to Marcus - but call him Marc.  

Good luck to you.

Answer 14

Hmmmm...

Well, as time goes by, discrimination that people of color face is sizzling out, thank goodness. So there's a chance that in 20 years when your son is in the market for a job or an apartment, his name really won't be an issue.

But then again, the name still might hinder him.

Other things to consider are -- how well does he know his name? Will it confuse him to change it?

What's his middle name? Is it less 'ghetto' and could you call him by that? He could use that name for applications. I see a lot of Apps at the college at work for and many employers state their name as

J. Tyler Lastname for example. The first name might be really ethnic, but they can't get judged for it.

Anyways, just think about it. How will it effect the boy? Good versus bad?

I wish you the best and yay for adoption!

Answer 15

How sad and frustrating that this is where we are.   I wish that you didn't even have to think about this!  However, I've heard about this study and I applaud you for already thinking of ways to give your (hopefully) child the very best start you can.  I used to be a social worker and I can tell you that it's pretty common for adoptive parents to change part or all of their child's name.  At the age of 1 you don't run a huge risk of messing with their sense of self.   I would say if it's important to you, go ahead.  And to all of the rest of us - employers, housing managers, etc. do not tolerate this type of thinking!  

Answer 16

I think Mark is fine, he's only 1 and probably not really attached to his name much yet. But you could always interchange what you call the baby and wean his ears to the new name. Babies learn incredibly fast...

Honestly it's not SO difficult to change your name when you are an adult.

SO, if he grows up as Mark, or whatever name you choose for him and he ends up not liking it, he can always change it later.

From a more personal standpoint, I have known alot of respectable business men with the name "Mark"!!!!!  

Answer 17

only change it if it's necessary but good thing your thinking about that because your child would be completely effected by it you sound like a very caring mother so I'm going to tell you to do what you think is best.

Answer 18

I've read that study, and I agree that institutionalized racism is a serious problem. But I don't think that the solution to that is to give all children "white sounding" names. That doesn't really do anything to solve the underlying problem. In fact, it basically just goes along with racism to avoid making waves.

By the time your child is old enough to enter the job market, he's old enough to read the studies for himself and decide what he wants to be called. I don't think that you need to intervene and make that decision for him while he's still an infant. That will be up to him later in life.

If you want to give him Mark or Marc as a nickname, that's valid-- his name is quite long, and it would be a mouthful to yell out every time you want to get his attention on the playground. But I don't think that doing it so he has a name that fits a stereotype is a good reason.

I think if at all possible, children should be allowed to keep their birth names. I do understand why you're concerned, I really do. But I think that's his decision to make when he gets older. It's his name, and his life that will be affected.

Answer 19

i agree completely and if  we adopt our foster son we are changing his name for the exact same reason.  

Answer 20

What's the name under consideration, luv?

Answer 21

I generally take a dim view of changing an adopted child's name without a compelling reason to do so.  I have heard of this study you mention and it's sad that the question "What's in a name?" apparantly can mean a lot, in the job market.

My suggestion is this: Keep the child's first name as it is, but use "Mark" as his nickname.  When he is older, he can apply to change it himself, if he likes.  

Answer 22

I feel since you will be the parent and are looking out for the best interest of the child that you have a right to change the name.  I personally understand your point and think that Mark is a nice simple name that keeps part of his original name.  Go for it.

Answer 23

I think changing it would be fine...what about going with James Marcus that way he keeps even more of his name.  Just a thought.