What do you think about divorce after 27 years of marrige?

Question

enough is enough..the lady inside me is dead long time ago..lack of love,lack of care,lack of romance ,altogether killed my feeling of being alive as a lady. kids are grown up now,they can live their own life independently,and am just after peace of heart and mind.

Answer 1

How unfortunate that this happened!  I say that you need to get those papers filed and start living your life and being happy.  No doubt that if you feel this way, he probably does too.  It will be good for the both of you.  Go for it!

Answer 2

Then go for it. You need to find YOU! Live for you. Love for you. It sounds like you two fell out of love loooong ago. Good luck in finding the new you!

Answer 3

should have done it a long time ago it sound like you stayed for the kids...

Answer 4

Divorce is so common these days it doesn't even matter.  I say live your life for you and nobody else.

Answer 5

Go for it.  My parents divorced after 43 miserable years of marriage.  I wish my mom would have done it WAY earlier.  There was almost nothing left of her when she got out.  Now she's HAPPY & vibrant.  I love seeing her that way.

Answer 6

So, you think you're a lady. I divorced my husband after 28 years. I'm a woman, but first and foremost I'm a human being. One of my reasons for divorce was that he expected me to behave as a 'lady' and not as a member of the human race with equal opportunities. The problems increased when I was working and he was unemployed - even though his unemployment payments were more than I was earning. (We don't live in the UK - unemployment benefit is linked to the last salary).

You have to consider where you are going after divorce. Believe me love, it has to be more than being treated like a lady!

Answer 7

I think after that many yrs of marriage that  divorce is sad BUT if you are not happy then you have to do whats best for you.

Answer 8

Why is it all dead? talk to your partner and try and sort it out, why did you wait till now? Life after divorce is very different in several ways, financial, loneliness and very expensive for divorce. My husband walk out after 20 years of what I thought was the perfect marriage, he thought it was greener on the other side but he was wrong. My divorce cost £35,000 as pensions and property had to be sorted out, be careful, give it 2nd thought before doing anything.

Answer 9

I would talk to him about how he feels...Regardless of his answer, maybe you should try counseling. 27 years is a long time to love someone. If you don't feel you can rekindle the romance then explain it to him, don't make it a nasty divorce, and live your life--Be happy!

But I definitly think its worth an effort to save what you have together. Who knows, maybe you two will discover intrests you never knew you had. And now that the kids are grown, you could travel together and keep it exciting...I just think its very sad-but if you can't be happy with him then you should do whatever will make you happy!

Answer 10

I know how you feel its 30 years for me but i am worried about going it alone but it must be better than putting up with it, wish i had done it years ago. I wish you lots of good luck and happiness take care x

Answer 11

I was in the same position as you. Married 20 years kids grown up. Got re-married 5 years ago to the best man in the world. I am now happy and kids told me I should have done it years ago. You only have one life and you are entitled to be happy. Good luck.

Answer 12

I don't know why people say that it is sad. You aren't happy. That is what is important here. Think it through. Make a plan and go for it. Best of luck to you.

Answer 13

Just do it!  You deserve a better life and you deserve to feel loved and cared for.  Life is too short to live a miserable life, so just go out there and find your happiness!!!

Good luck!

Answer 14

Personally, I do not believe in divorce. Read Matthew chapter 19 in the bible. It talks about divorce. I think you should go to marriage counseling and try to work out your problems. Also, it's a good idea to have a date night once a week with your husband. I have found that time set alone with my husband has been very beneficial. Also, it sounds like you could be suffering depression. Maybe you should go to the doctor and get checked for that. Please, talk with your husband and don't get a divorce. Grass is never greener on the other side!

Answer 15

If you have chance to get out then go for it . Find your happiness "again " ... good luck !

Answer 16

you should do what makes you happy.have you really thought about it .have you spoke to your  husband.could it not be the absence of your children that is getting you down . i know when all my kids left i went through a hard time even though i had brought them up on my own because i got divorced after 15 years when my children were young it felt so bad seeing them making there way but you have to let go .this is supposed to be your twilight years when you and your husband should be getting to know each other and having fun .but then i don't really know your situation. make yourself happy good luck

Answer 17

im so sorry to hear you feel like this if you have spoke to hom about this and there was still no change then he is probaly took in his ways, 27 years is a lony time to be married but if your un happy follow your heart.

Answer 18

What are you saying your not happy being a woman and now you want to be a man?  It took you this long in the marriage to fine out WHAT?  We make our own happinest...  Why even bother with a divorce?  You can stay married and have your freedom too.  Now get off your high horse and start making plan to go on a vacation either by yourself or with some of your old time friends and live it up...  or better yet take your husband and you both have a great time doing your own things separate and together...  So STOP hating the world and feeling sorry for yourself...  Get involoved with Your City.

Answer 19

In your case it is better to become a widow.

Answer 20

I so understand how you feel. That's almost exactly how I felt at that point in my marriage. I held out for a few more years - my youngest left home shortly after our 31st anniversary. We were living more like roommates, sometimes even like strangers that didn't really like each other rather than spouses or lovers. Just when I was ready to leave, my daughter lost a stillborn baby. That got me thinking about lots of things. I sat my husband down & told him how very unhappy I was - at first he didn't get it, said he thought that was the way most marriages were after so many years. I told him we could try to fix things or.....

So we went away for a week, without so much as a cell phone, far away from friends & family. We drove so there would be long times trapped together in a car. We bought a couple of self-help books with questions to focus on & we talked... a lot.... for days & some nights. By the end of that week we had agreed to give us another chance, to try to remember who we had once been & try to bring that back to life. More than 30 years would have been a long time to throw away. I'm glad we didn't do that. It's not perfect now- not as good as it could be, but it's ever so much better than it was. We are now friends & lovers... and we make a point to reconnect every chance we get. Hopefully we'll continue to get better each day.

Will this work for you? Is it worth a try? Only you & your spouse know. I know that as a college student I became a child of divorce. Even at that age it  hurt - and did for years. My parents never recovered from their divorce. If you have to go, then do what you must with a clear conscience knowing that you tried everything you could. You loved each other once - is it possible it's still their buried under all the boredom & resentment? . The grass is not always greener elsewhere. Are you better off with him or without him?

Think about it. It took you 27 years to reach this point. Isn't it worth a little time to be sure? Be strong! Good luck!

Answer 21

i guess for better or worse were just words. really sad. sorry  

Answer 22

Do what you can live with.  When your on your deathbed will you regret staying married or would you regret getting divorced?  Life is a search for happiness.  Don't stop searching until you find it.

Answer 23

then you deserve to live the second part of your life in happiness