What do you think about having an ONLY CHILD?

Question

My husband and I are considering only having one baby...is that selfish of us? I would love to be able to devote my whole attention to one child rather than having to divide it, but I don't want to regret not giving our baby a sibling. On the other hand having a sibling doesn't always equal having a friend, if they end up not getting along...

I have 9 nieces and nephews so our baby would always have someone to play with, but none of them are "only" children. What do you think?

Answer 1

no i think its better , to many children in the world.

Answer 2

Think about long term, as well. Do you like or imagine big family get togethers with your child/children and their child/children? Would your child have enough interaction with other family members his/her age growing up, to form a strong family bond, should something happen to you and dad?

I have 2 kids and my sister has 2 and my husbands siblings each have 2. I love our family get togethers and the children do, too. I think when they are grown and they all expand their own families, that it will be a blast to have everyone together. have lots of people to call and enjoy their time with.

Just think it through. :)

Answer 3

i'm an only child and as long as he/she has other children in the family to play with it won't be a problem. i had a lot of cousins to play with and i honestly love the fact that i am an only child to the point that i often brag about it to my friends who aren't only children, in fact i don't anyone else who is an only child everyone of my friends ha at least 1 sibling.

Answer 4

Have two close together then that's it.  

I was an only child for 10 years and always wished for a sibling. I have two that are 18 months apart and they are best friends and worst enemies but wouldn't trade each other for the world.

Answer 5

Um, to be honest, I don't think its selfish but I would never do that to my child. I have 2 brothers, and even though I may not get along with them at times it would be pretty sad being all by myself.

Answer 6

We have a daughter, and we plan on having no more.  The pregnancy was really hard on me, and my heart plus I had 2 m/c's before she was born.  I think if you want only one child, then so be it.  No one has the right to tell you they will be lonely or that its mean.  You have other children in your family for him/her to play with.  So many people are against only children, but its not their concern, its the parents who have the child.

Answer 7

Honestly, I think it is cruel unless their is a medical reason. You are right when you say that siblings are not always best friends, however they do share a special bond. I have three siblings, one who is my younger sister (5yrs apart). When we were small children we fought all the time and had very little in common, but now that I am adult and she is a teen we get along great. She will even call for advice, when she doesn't want to talk to our parents. I honestly love having siblings and hated being an only child when I was one. What if something was to happen to you and your husband, the child would be left all alone with no one else to relate to her, cousins are fine, but they do not some close to siblings. Also, siblings can some times offer things parents can't when it comes medical needs.

My own opinion of only children is that they often become very selfish people. The reason is that they have never thought of anyone else's feelings or shared anything with anyone, so it is all about them. I think siblings give children skills that they need to properly cope in the real world. I know several only children and this is exactly how each one acts, so I am basing my opinion off of real life people. In the end only you and your husband can make this decision. Children are not for everyone, but it is cruel to only have one child.

Answer 8

Having an only child might be your choice. But would your child be lonely? What if he isn't really good at making friends in school? On the other hand, he can easily learn to be independent what he/she grows up.

having 2 might be harder. But your the older one can always lend a helping hand and help you with your parenting. The older one can help you babysit your smaller child while you're away. however, they might end up having fights.

Answer 9

I have one baby now and theres a GOOD chance i wont be having another. I dont see anything wrong with it, its up to you, peoples opinions shouldnt force you to have more children than you want! I was an only child for a while and even though it got boring sometimes, i enjoyed the fact that i didnt have to share my mom and dad with anyone. lol maybe thats why im so possesive today. oh well.

Answer 10

It's your business how many children you have.  Do what you want, don't be pressured into something you don't want.  Besides, you haven't even had the first one, why are you so worried about a bunch more.  

I was the child that ended up here, not really wanted.  I don't recommend it.

Answer 11

I'm an only child and I was almost always lonely, thats why I'm having at least 2 kids so they can have what longed for.

Answer 12

I'd suggest having twins. They'd be best friends, and couldn't help but love each other.

Haha, no. But seriously, if you did; they'd love you. o_0.

BUT.

I would suggest having your first kid, and then a couple years later see how it's going. If you think that you can handle another child, and you feel that your first-born would like to have a sibling when they get older -- then I'd suggest thinking about having another child.

Answer 13

whatever is best for you and your husband do it. I do have two children and they are apart by 5 1/2 years... they do get along very well, and my oldest cares for her brother so much. It worked out for my family but what is best for one is not necessarily best for another.

Answer 14

no no no ... its better for sumone to have a brother or a sister so they can find sumone which is always the closest to them to share things with and to learn trust and to always find sumone to play with at home ... im an only sibling and im 17 and i wish i had a sibling really.. i always sit at home and wish sumone was next to me to talk to or fight with

Answer 15

i'm an only child, and i'm so glad my parents didnt have another one! it's very rewarding to your child because he/she gets more one on one time and more attention. trust me-kids love that! also, it's quite a handful to have 2+ children! no, its not selfish of you at all! if your child ever gets bored or lonely, it would be good to get a pet or just invite a friend over alot so he/she can be more social. i don't regret not having a sibling at all! of course, i did have a cousin that i was close to that i could talk to. hope this helps!

Answer 16

I think it really depends on the situation. If financially you can't raise more than one child its an understandable situation. Most only kids I have seen have become very spoiled, and tend to be very selfish. Of course, with proper parenting that can be avoided.

Answer 17

I have an only child and she loves it that way. She has the advantage of not having to share any of the family resources. I had severe post partum depression and when I finally came out of it, I had lost so much precious time with my baby that I could not subject myself or another child to that again. There is nothing wrong with 1 child families, just like there is nothing wrong with multiple children. Every parent knows what they can handle, no one else can dictate that.