What do you think about marriage at this time..if it were you?

Question

I am 19(20 soon), he is 21, he has been talking about serious stuff a lot more recently, I wouldn't be surprised if he proposed this year. We have been together 3 years on Oct. 17th. We had some problems at first but worked everything out.

Would you think you would be ready for marriage if it were you? I figure if he actually did propose soon, I would say yes, but I wouldn't get married till after I graduate college(junior in college this year).

The only thing I wouldn't be sure about is telling my parents. I just don't know how to handle that when/if it happens.

Anyway, I am done rambling through my question. I was just thinking about it and was curious. I don't even care if I get answers, but they are appreciated so I can cure this boredom.

Answer 1

Well if it was me I would get engaged if the questions was asked if I really loved him but would make a plan for a few years away.  Time to graduate, get a job and get more stability.  Also have time to plan and save.

As for the parents, if you have a plan in place like that, why would they have a problem?

Answer 2

I like the idea of you waiting until after college although you don't have to do that if you really think that this is the person for you.  

I know that at that age, I was way too young to be thinking of getting married (of course I didn't have a boyfriend either at the time).

If you are planning to wait until after college, then maybe you could wait on telling your parents until closer to the time to avoid the possibility of them throwing a fit and nagging you about it.

Answer 3

If it was me, I would wait.  Most of the couples I knew who were engaged in college broke up right after they graduated.  Plus, I remember the year after we graduated was a period where my friends and I were all doing a ton of questioning about what we really wanted out of life.  I think that's a better time in your life to make a final decision about marriage versus when you are still rather isolated from the real world with college.

Answer 4

I don’t agree with one of the answers you were given “Do everything you want to do or you will have your dreams pushed away because you will want to make your husband happy?” No! If you decide to make your life with this man is because he supports and encourages your dreams and will not only support you but help you chase after them the same way he will expect you to do the same thing for him.

I am not married but I have been living with my fiancé for 18 months now. I will tell you my experiences and it’s not the same thing but maybe it will help. I dated a guy for almost 4 yrs since I was 15 and we didn’t work out I ended the relationship a couple of months before the 4 yrs we just weren’t on the right page and are wants, needs and desires were completely different. I decided to move out on my own. I met this wonderful guy with ambitions, goals and a future and after dating for 3 months (I know crazy) we move in together. We got engaged a year later and I can’t tell you how happy I am. However, once he did propose so you will start thinking a lot. You will wonder if this guy will make you happy, if you share the same interests, goals etc. And you will know if he’s the one is he isn’t the one don’t be afraid to end the relationship he will GET Over it! Trust me it won’t be easy but he will I thought my ex ill never get over me and guess what he did.

Age is nothing but a number we live in a differ century now where women are independent, s*x before marriage is acceptable and are perfectly capable of taking care of ourselves. SO when deciding the rest of your life think about who he is and who you are and not how old you are or will be. If he is what you want in the future and will give you the future you desire and the comfort you want and you know what you want and what you desire then I say your ready.

BTW I am 21 yrs old so not much older than you are and 18 when I went on my own.

Answer 5

Well, I started dating a guy when I was 18 and when I was 21 he proposed to me and we got engaged.  About 3 months later, he decided he wasn't ready and it all fell apart.  I was devastated.  However, when I look back on it, I am so glad that it happened that way.  I was a totally different person then and it would have been so difficult to deal with real life if we had gone through with it.  I had never lived on my own, held down a job, paid my own bills or anything.  Only you can make the right decision for you but I can tell you that, at the time I thought it was all perfect but, looking back, I was very naive.  I am 28 now and marrying a man very different from what I thought I would back then.  But he is perfect for me.

Answer 6

I was with my ex for three years too, and I was almost 23 when we broke up...

I always knew (felt?) that something was wrong, and I never felt like I'd be ready to say yes if he'd asked me.

Now I'm 24, and in one week I will be celebrating one year of marriage with the most wonderful guy in the world! We've been together for a total of 13 months, and I couldn't be happier to be his wife.

The point is, there is no right or wrong time, to go by.

The real indicator is that little voice in the back of your head that says "this feels wrong" or "this feels so right!"

I've heard both, and I'm so glad that I followed that gut feeling, because I know there's no better guy out there than my Don, and if I'd married the other guy, I would have lost out on finding this one!

Follow your heart... It can't lead you astray.

Answer 7

I was in the same position and got married. Just complete your education first. It is not like you were 14 when you started dating, you were 16 and perhaps an adult in many ways. Make sure you know what you are getting yourself into and think about the long term. Do you have jobs? A place to live? If your parents are supporting you now, you will have to learn to cut the umbilical cord and live on your own. I think the biggest mistake people make is not knowing anything about the world... never learning to pay for and handle things on their own. When you are this young, your husband may not know how to handle these things either.  

Answer 8

When I was 19/20, I was most definitely not ready for marriage but everyone is different.

Answer 9

I think its the right age cuz you don't wanna get married too late or too early. Good luck ^^

Answer 10

its a little young to get married, but I like the fact you said you would wait until after you grad. to get married..I think after 3 years if he proposed go for it girl..You have made it this far...Just wait to get married you change so much in your twenties..Also just tell your parents they can't do much about it your an adult.

Answer 11

If you are ready to get married then do it. You can always have a longer engagement and it sounds like you may have that already. That way if you decide not to marry, you won't have to go through a divorce.

Answer 12

only the 2 of you will know when you are ready for marriage

Answer 13

It really doesnt matter how long you have been together, if you love each other and wish to stay with each forever.

You sound like you have your head on your shoulders and you are sensible enough to know if he is right for you.

You have had your problems and you have worked through them, as long as you have communiction and love and you want marriage then say yes. But if you do have doubts and your not sure you want to be with him, when he has these serious talks with you, bring it up that you dont know if you are ready. He WILL NOT propose if he has the slightest inkling that you will say no, he wouldnt want to embarrass himself, so unless your sure, be sure to know he won't ask.

Answer 14

I'm guessing you're not quite as mature as you think you may be if you're too afraid to tell your parents if he proposes.  I got engaged at 21 after dating for almost two years - our families were thrilled for us and neither of us were scared/nervous to tell them.

I do think you're smart for wanting to wait until after you graduate college, but I would put the wedding off for a year more after that so you've had time to work in a full-time job and save up money for a wedding (don't expect your parents to pay for it).

Answer 15

i think u should get settled in life den think abt marriage after all u must not be fully dependent on him

Answer 16

If you have been together for 3 years, you love him & things are good...you shoud say yes.  But like you said, don't set a date until after graduation.  That is very smart, things can sometimes change.

Answer 17

you're both pretty young and have some growing up to do, and it may be best for you to do it before you're married.  if you do get engaged, definitely wait until you're done with college before you get married.  I'm ten years older than you and there's no way I could get married now- first of all I hate the idea of having a roommate in my house for life, and second I have no close gf's to ask to be bridesmaids right now.

Answer 18

Please, please, please finish school before you do anything.  If there are things you really want to do, then do them before you marry.  After you marry, your life will change drastically.  You will want to make your husband happy and (hopefully not) push all your dreams to the side.  Dont' do that!  Have fun, do everything you've always wanted to do BEFORE you get married.  (Have I said that enough times?) Because you won't be able to afterwards...  You really really really should wait a few years.