What do you think about my fiance not helping me with our new baby?

Question

Hi-

I have an 8 week old baby girl and I feel like I am doing all the work. My fiance does not really help me with her at all. The little things he does do he complains about them and argues with me before he does do them. He even argues with me about feeding the baby- which he rarely ever does b/c I breastfeed her. I started school this week and I have a full time schedule (all on-line). Right now I asked him to please watch the baby b/c I need to do homework and he told me no! He is still sleeping right now (9:30am) - he does not have a job (we live w/ his mom and have been for 4 months now!)- and when he does wake up around noon all he is going to do is play Counter Strike on his computer. I am not exaggerating when I say that he plays that game for 10 hours plus a day. He said that he does not support me right now about my decision of going to school. He said that I should have waited until next semester if I could not handle it. He says "oh well" and does nothing more, but go back to sleep. I feel really hurt by this and thankfully I have my parents that live close by to help me, but I think that he should be the one to help me before my parents--especially since he is not working right now and hasn't been for 5 months!! I mean I would understand if he had to go to work, but he doesn't!! I am to the point where I don't really care about our relationship and I am definitely out of love with him. The only thing that is holding me back is our baby. He says that if I leave he will call the police on me and say that I kidnapped our daughter. He also said that he would get full custody b/c he will soon have a job and I will not be working--meaning that since he will have an income he will automatically be awarded custody. I am not sure what to do about this situation... I guess I am just afraid to leave b/c I think that he will take my baby away. BY the way he smokes weed and hardly spends time with his daughter maybe 10-15 min per day if THAT!

Can someone please give me some good advice?!?

Answer 1

Cut his we we off so he can't father no more children. And don't worry about him taking the child away. Unless you're unfit he will pay child support wheather or not you have a job. Sounds like an a--hole to me.

Answer 2

Well first of all sweetie you are doing nothing wrong. You are a full time mom and your trying to do good with your life by going back to school. He is the low-life doing nothing but eat, sleep and s***!!! you dont need someone like him in your life. As long as you have your daughter thats all you need. There are so many single moms out there that do just fine. Especially you dont want your daughter to grow up with a good for nothing dad, that doesnt pay attention to her and smokes weed alllll day!!! As for him getting custody I hardly doubt that will happen...he has nothing on you!! you are a mother who takes care of her child and is trying to get a good education. What does he do??? exactly nothing!!!! he cant get custody for being a low life father..he has no job, no income for the child and he is such a loser...move on sweetie you and your child deserve something wayyyy better then that. GOOD LUCK!!! keep your head up....=)

Answer 3

record the the things he says and does. find his stash and take a photo. record him when he is threatening you . talk to your parents see if you can live there . get legal aid and leave him . he is an abuser ,you don't want your daughter to grow up in this environment.nor do you want to have to survive with the abuse.he's a bum get rid of him and keep studying ,make a good life for you and your daughter.