What do you think about my hip hop lyrics?

Question

Violent lines chant through the city

Pouring in through your windows without any pity

Riding down the streets getting samples from beside

Can’t hear the sirens speeding up behind

A shot man laying on a curb until the collide

No more time and he just died

This is the common nightlife of a skyscraping town

So many crimes that the officers drown

Suburban boys skate in the park

Find a lighter and struggle for a spark

Out with their friends doing drugs in the dark

This is the new generation

Where nobody stands and rejects temptation

They abandon God and glance at Satan

Funny how those two words rhyme with salvation

We all believe we can do it on our own

If so why has the drop out rating grown

We’ve all been dropped in an sin cyclone

And no easy way out so we just stay in

Been going round and round in the spin

Dropped from the sky straight down to the grave

Never stops raining on a radio wave

Answer 1

"This is the new generation

Where nobody stands and rejects temptation

They abandon God and glance at Satan

Funny how those two words rhyme with salvation"

the whole thing is really awesome, this part was my favorite!

keep going =) xx

Answer 2

i think people say it sounds white cuz the way its spelled out...u cant really "deliver" it on the internet

its real cool...lemme just say that the dropout rating HAS grown cuz people believe they CAN do it on their own.

get it?

Answer 3

hey man i really liked it i like how the lines are simple some people can't pull it off but you can check out mine just an idea and don't know if i should bother working on it http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 4

Who cares if your white!?! i don't. your speaking the way you feel about certain issues, com on people. is it what hip hop is all about expressing the way you feel about something though dance or rapping? B-boys and b-girls would get up and start "breaking" which mean in The Street slag for "getting excited" and "being energetic" instead of getting into fights with each other and rapper they would get up and start boasting how they feel about c**p over the microphones and Kool DJ Herc's encouraged them to voice there opinions on the world.

Answer 5

I like the lyrical content, but I just think the rhyme scheme is just too simple.  It looks more like a poem.  But then again you really can't judge without having someone rap it too.  But I still think it could use a more complex rhyme structure and poetic devices. (wordplay, multiples, or maybe even alliteration.)  I think the best thing about being a rapper is trying to use all those different techniques without watering down the meaning of your message.  Thats why a lot of people won't ever understand the complexity and the hard work that goes into making some rap lyrics.  But keep up the good work.

Answer 6

great stuff man. remember that delivery is 50 percent of Rap as well though.

ignore the moron Lil wayne fans that talking about "whiteness" .  I spent a whole lot of time in the 80's in the ghetto during the golden age of Hip Hop, I'm qualified to judge what's  "too white"  and what's not when it comes to Hip Hop.

Answer 7

does sound very.......white.

say it out loud you'll hear what i mean :)

Answer 8

yur a white boii arent yu?

Answer 9

who cares if hes white? ^^

you got a good mindset. the rhymes are simple though

Answer 10

Hey man, you got skillls. So you gotta do better.

I like this part, it's like you're speaking your mind-

"Suburban boys skate in the park

Find a lighter and struggle for a spark

Out with their friends doing drugs in the dark

This is the new generation

Where nobody stands and rejects temptation

They abandon God and glance at Satan

Funny how those two words rhyme with salvation"



The other lines, no one gives a wack about. Flip it around a little.