Question:

What do you think about my poem? Honest but not to harsh please!?

by  |  earlier

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Squirm, beg

move, dance.

The voice whispered

in her head.

Life is a stage...

Roll with it.

She collapsed.

She screamed.

The voice screamed back,

This is all wrong.

Squirm, beg

move, dance.

A louder whisper.

Steal the light...

Become the light.

She fought.

She pulled.

The voice fought back.

This time it won.

Squirm, beg

move, dance.

She squirmed.

She begged.

The voice didn't stop.

Dance...

The whispers continued.

She danced.

She danced across the stage.

She danced into her mind.

The voice didn't stop,

Welcome to insanity.

The whispers died.

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15 ANSWERS


  1. Sorry but cant make sense of ti:[

    ANSWER MY QUESTION http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...


  2. Its pretty cool.

    It kinda makes no scence though.

  3. i don't get it. is it about a girl with voices inside her head? is it emo? details please!

  4. ummmmmm its a bit to emo.

  5. could you put it to music?

  6. harleyquinn indeed...

    not bad.. but doesn't feel like a poem.. i dunno...

    hmm something isn't right..

    well insanity isn't really right.. lol

    oh well i'm not a poem critic..

    www.Punkai.com  

  7. It sounds to me like an "entertainer" living in a world she doesnt want to be in but isn't able to leave.  She fights and then just succumbs.  The only thing about the actual poem itself is the lack of detail.  The upside to the lack of detail is the ability for the reader to add the details.  It felt sad to me.  Am I close to the meaning?

  8. Scary...

  9. It kinda creeps me out.

    But I can totally see you narrating

    and Tim Burton film with this..xP

  10. Sad and unusual.

  11. Great job, you should really submit it to http://www.papertank.com and see what they think.

    I bet you could get a high rating for it on there!

  12. not my taste of poetry.

  13. sounds good but an analysis of what it actually is about would help to give some good suggestions

  14. its okay.

  15. It's intrestin....

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