What do you think about my poem "A Birthday Scandal"?

Question

i think it still needs some work hopfully you can still understand where i was trying to go with it heres my link

http://terryjr.gametrailers.com/gamepad/index.php?action=viewblog&id=326672

Answer 1

That's good - nice twist at the end. You might just want to run it through spell check once, that's all I saw. Otherwise it looks good.