What do you think about my poetry?

Question

My life begins with hatrid and sorrow......

I often wonder......

if there will be a tomorrow....

I know that true beauty lies within..............

But is that still true...........

knowing i've done a sin......

My life feels messed up..........

My friends, I don't have......

My dog has just died...............

Honestly.........

God just won't let me win.......

I know i've made mistakes..........

But i can't change the past,

I wish something could be done.............

I need a solution fast.............

God, Please forgive me for what I have done.............

All my mistakes have led me to not belong,

This is depressing, and I cannot help,

That I, too, have been hurt,

So I hurt everyone else.

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Answer 1

I'll be honest kiddo:

It needs work.

No imagery at all.

Tip: Don't use more than three periods for an elipse.

Answer 2

u an awsome poet keep writing

Answer 3

I  get it, and it touched me.  the way you take the reader thru a whole story from loss, anguish, hopelessness >>>  all universal emotions.  And then begin to find your way out of this depression and find hope and renew your spirit and find it in your heart to want to reach out and help someone,,,  who all along is YOU,,,  Brilliant twist !  My name is Jess,,,  so maybe we are kindred spirits,,,  but I definitely felt the flow and I bet it started with a few lines and thenthe words took over, as writing often does.  

   I hope you keep your writings in a notebook,  where it is handy when these urges comes,  for me that is how writing happens,,,  it starts with a couple of sentences I put down n paper and the rest spills out , as though on its' own. Amazing fun energy.