What do you think about nannys?

Question

i have four boys-8,7,4,2- and my husband trvels for his job ALOT. so i have my hands full. he always tries to convince me to let him hire a nanny to help out since i stay home anyways. and i just feel like i want to do everything myself even though its alot sometimes. i def dont want a stranger taking care of my kids.

but my husband has been interviewing nannys wihtout me. hes trying to compromise to only have one a few days a week since i dont really want one-but obv need one. and we want to have one more baby soon-trying for a girl.

what do you think? have you had any good/bad experiences with nannys???

Answer 1

get cameras!! you dont want them to be hitting them and not tell u about it! your best bet is to have a family member take care of them =]

Answer 2

Well to be honest that is a lot of kids to manage on your own, plus housework and everything!  How would you feel about a "mother's helper" who wasn't hired just to watch the kids but to help with housework, running errands etc. part-time during the week to help you out?  That way you get help but you don't have to trust your kids to a stranger.  And she could help mind the little ones while you were getting other stuff done when you were in the house so it's not like you'd be leaving them alone with somebody else.  I think it can be a great thing to have some help around the house for those sorts of things especially if you have that many children and can afford the help, but you don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with.  Make a list of things you WOULD be comfortable delegating to a helper (laundry, dishes, errands, etc.) and maybe you'll start to get a better picture of how something like that could be a benefit to your family.

EDIT:  The most important thing is that your kids know that you're there for them when they need you, and it sounds like that part of things wouldn't change in this situation.  Actually you might be able to be there for them MORE if you have somebody else to help with the non-parenting tasks.

Answer 3

>ill be home the entire time she is around. its just like extra hands

That's the ideal :)

Your life and mine are pretty similar- husband travels frequently, we do not live in the same country as our parents.

I'm just about to have #4.

I could *not* run my house in the way we want it run without a nanny, and there is nothing wrong with it. Sounds like your husband thinks a bit lik mine too, which is fortunate for you- meaning although they value a large family they did not get into it to make their wives into domestic workers.

Rather than a nanny (and depending on the area you are in) I'd find someone who does both household work (cooking/cleaning) and childcare as needed, leaving you to do the mothering. This makes a very clear distinction. (My children are completely aware that I am mami and even though they are attached to the housekeeper, they know she is staff.) So don't listen to people who say someone else is raising your children- through history and most cultures, women have had attendants to work in their home. There is nothing wrong with that!

The only 'bad' experience I ahve ever had- from my own childhood and through three children, was one woman who insisted my scond daughter should "CIO" at around 11 months. I found out she did it once while I wasn't home (her older sister told me :), fired her, and had a new one within days- so it was probably a much bigger problem for her in the long run!  Most are in it because they need the money  and appreciate a family who treats them well, thus are quite trustworthy. I have had very few problems, and I am a SAHM who is generally around to keep an eye on everything- even with an assistant, I rarely go out without my children unless I run out at naptime. But I can, if needed. That's the important thing.