What do you think about single people adopting children?

Question

I'm 25 years old and I'm really looking foward to getting married and having a family some day. I thought I had found the man that I was going to spend my life with, but it ended abruptly and now I'm alone, wondering where my life is going to take me now. I know I'm young and I will most likely find someone else, but there is always that "what if" factor.

So recently I have been thinking a lot about adoption and thought that perhaps if I haven't found another committed relationship by the time I'm 30 I might just adopt a child. I know there are so many kids out there who need a home, and I'd love to open up my home and my heart to one, or maybe more.

Everyone says it is a best for a child to have a loving mom and dad, but what about these kids that have no mom or dad? Wouldn't it be better for them to at least have one parent?

What do you think? Is it selfish to adopt a child knowing you will be raising him or her as a single parent?

Answer 1

I think adoption is a great idea for a single person if that's what they want to do. In your case, like you said, you're young.  You'll probably go through 5-6 more men before you find "the one".  I didn't get married until I was 35 and I had Noah at 36...so...ya just never know when you'll find Mr. Right.

Answer 2

No, I dont think its selfish at all.  Yes, I do think its best for a child to have both parents, no doubt about it.  But there are so many kids in foster care that dont have any real parents at all, that a single parent is far superior to that situation.  Dont get so down and out at age 25 though- or even 30, its become very common here in the US to get married and have children a little later in life.  My wife was 32 when we had our first child.  There is no huge rush, enjoy being single so that when you do meet the right guy, you can appreciate the changes that being married brings you :)

Answer 3

single people have kids all the time there are a million single mothers raising thier kids alone and doing a great job so whats wrong with adopting while your single some kids have noone not a mother or a father at least you could give them the mother they never had...

Answer 4

If you can handle it, adopting a kid is fine.

Undfortunatly, you are lonely and just wanting that other person in your life. maybe an excuse.

a child is not the answer to your problems. you gotta admit it.

step back for a second and realize why you want to adopt a kid. really look at yourself.

Answer 5

If you adopt a child, dont date in front of the child. It will

confuse, complicate his life.  If you date and the child

bonds to the the person and then you break up, the child

will feel he/she has been abandoned again.

Dont adopt a child because you are lonely.

you will resent the child when he/she fails to lesson your

lonlyness.

I say dont adopt, you are too young and havnt thought

about it from the child's view

Answer 6

i think that you should defiantly adopt and it is not selfish at all how did your last relationship go!!! write to me at my email address on my public account!! love to speak to you More and find stuff out about it

Answer 7

I am a 26 year old single mother of a 4 year old and it has always been this way.  I am a big supporter of adoption, but there are many things you need to consider.

1) You cannot imagine in your wildest dreams how hard it is to raise a child on your own.  There are way too many struggles and hardships involved that interfere with every aspect of your daily life.

2) Children really need two loving parents.  They don't have to hav ethis, but it is very important.  Fortunately, there are more families who want to adopt than there are babies.  So, if you didn't adopt a particular child-someone else would.

3) It is far more expensive to adopt than many people might think.  If you are very wealthy, then it is an option.  Otherwise, I would wait.

4)  You will meet someone one day in the future.  Once you have a child, there is no more dating and relationships. It is very hard to find the time and even harder to find someone willing to take on the responsibility of a child that is not their own.  Not saying that it won't happen, but it is much harder to come by.

I think it is a wonderful thing that you are thinking of adopting a child.  I gave my second daughter up for adoption and it was well worth my sacrifice.  She is now with an amaxing loving family whom both my first daughter and I are very close to.  If you decide to go this route, I wish you luck and God Bless.

Answer 8

I was adopted by one person .. my mom :) .. its not unfair or anything like that its not wrong i mean  i'd rather have one than none like you were saying .. nobody needs two parents .. you are young and your really brave to want to do it on your own but it cant be that hard im actually rasing a kid by myself right now its not that hard i actually love it even though im still young myself im not going to say how young because people will judge me and they dont have a clue what i've been through.. anyway i think that would be a really great idea and i hope you do it

Good luck with the future

Jane x

Answer 9

YOU AREN'T GONNA CARE ABOUT THE ADOPTED KID WHEN YOU HAVE UR REAL ONE..

Answer 10

IT IS A WONDERFUL IDEA....EXCITING!!

YOU SOUND LIKE YOU WOULD MAKE A GREAT MOTHER..

GOD BLESS YOU AND THANK YOU FOR CARING...

MY SISTER IN LAW NEVER MARRIED AND SHE ADOPTED A LITTLE GIRL...

THERE IS ONE WAITING JUST FOR YOU!! ENJOY YOUR NEW HAPPINESS!! KIDS ARE SO MUCH FUN....                                                            

THE CHILD WILL BECOME YOUR WHOLE WORLD.....AND YOU WILL BE HER/HIS WHOLE WORLD

Answer 11

Adoption is a wonderful thing & yes singles can adopt successfully.  I recommend that you consider adopting from the foster system.  The kids in the system have a rough time finding forever families.

I agree with you that if a child has no mother or father in their life, it is better to have a single parent than no parent at all.

Go through the training to become an adoptive (or foster if you want to see if it will truly fit with your lifestyle) parent & you'll find out a lot more about the ins and outs and how to make it work for you and the child.

You can go to: http://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/reslist... to look up the requirements and process for your state.

Answer 12

IT NOT SELFISH TO ADOPT A KID BEING SINGLE ITS WRONG YOU IN TO HAVE A HUSBAND

Answer 13

If you are strong and finincially able to, there's nothing wrong with it. It's true, a father would be nice. But if you have enough love to share then you can make it happen. Adoption is a positive thing and you might be happier than ever if you did it.

Answer 14

I don't think it's selfish but I don't think you're thinking through all of the issues.  How old is the child going to be?  Who's going to care for the child when you're not there?  I think adopting a child as a single person may be more honest.  Many parents adopt children, get divorced, and that child ends up being raised in a single parent household.

I would question your reasons for wanting a child. You don't even know if you're "qualify" to be able to adopt a child.  It's not as easy as going to a department store & picking the one wrapped up in pink.  As someone else said it's expensive.  If you have your heart set on having a child I don't know why you wouldn't just have one biologically.

Answer 15

i think it is wrong to just have a dad or mom

Answer 16

I'm a single parent.  I've adopted 2 children from foster care.  It's not impossible, it's not expensive and it's very rewarding if you decide to do this.  I became a foster parent at 28 and adopted my first child at 30, my second at 32.  I wish you the best of luck in your decision!

To the person who said foster children have "no real parents", shame on you.  What do you think we (foster parents) do?

Answer 17

if u have the financial resources- its a wonderful idea- i know you will find someone tho:)   but even when you do- maybe u can have your own kids and also adopt....

Answer 18

I think if a person has the means to do it, then it's WONDERFUL.

After all, you never know what marriage will end in divorce even if you start out with two parents.

To say an adopted child would be harmed by having a single parent is basically saying that ANY child with a single parent is being harmed.

Answer 19

I see nothing wrong with a single person adopting a child. I have been a single mom for the past 9 years and have been on my own from the moment I told my b/f (of 7 years at that time) i was pregnant. Long personal story so I wil cut it short there....

I do want to say it is not easy and it is not always fair to the child to not have both a mom and a dad in their life...BUT...if you are in a strong family with uncles and etc to help be a male figure, then sure go for it. there is nothing selfish about it at all.....look at all the other kids in the world in a broken family anyway. besides, this child will appreciate the fact you adopted him or her and brought them into a loving family regardless if there is a father or not....a family is a family whether it is a mom, dad and kids or a mom and a cat.....thats your family. my family consists of me, my daughter, her soon to be step dad and three cats. We refer to this as "our" family. good luck and dont let anyone talk you out of something you have your heart on doing.

Answer 20

I think it's a great idea! Yes, its best for a child to have a mother and a father, however, when you do get married someday, the child could call your husband their father. It also sounds like you have a lot of loving family and friends to support that child. Its not abnormal to be a single parent. There are thousands of kids out there who don't know who their fathers are. After all, I'm sure that they would much rather live with you than with whoever they are with now!

Good luck and God bless.

Answer 21

Your way of thinking is very sound, and you have a lovely big heart! You are honest with yourself and know to wait  more time to see if there will be a partner in your life. I believe the age you have chosen to adopt a child is just right.

By then you will have collected more wisdom, lived enough to recognize the difference of adopting out of a need for companionship and adopting out of a need to share the love you have in your heart.

I honestly do not believe a child will loose something in the process of growing up just because he or she has only one parent. Love and caring is not diminished just because a person is a sole parent, to me it is the contrary, the love of a good single parent is many times twice as better than that of two.

There are many children in the world that need someone like you, so my advice? just follow your heart and live your life the way you feel is best. If someday you do decide to adopt, this child will indeed be lucky to have you as mom :)

Answer 22

We can see so many street chidren in the stree!  Why? Because someone  sexually behaved irresponsibly ,  Adoption is a God given opportunity to a childless couple.  The adoption should not be out of compassion for the child,

but should be out of genuine love for the child.  Otherwise, in future it will be a problem to both the child and the persons who adopted the child.  Let love, true love , be the watch word in this  matter.

Answer 23

I think it is definitly better for a child to have a mom and a dad..but I agree with you that 1 loving parent is better than no parents at all.  I would look into adopting an older child (2-4 maybe) as most couples are looking to adopt babies and there are many older children who need homes.

good luck!

Answer 24

i dont see why maritial status should matter. obviously threre are benefits from having both a mom and dad, but if you are financial secure and can emotionally handle a child, go for it.

there are far worse things in life than being a single parent.

Answer 25

Some people are single, are perfectly capable of being an amazing parent, and would love the opportunity to so. Even parents who are married get divorced, so there is no guarantee an adopted child will always have two parents, even if they did at first. I think it is perfectly acceptable for a single person to adopt. Plus, if they have the dream to be a parent but can't for whatever reason, why shouldn't they be?

Answer 26

I think thats great!  I commend you for being brave because being a single parent is hard work.  I believe you could do it and I think it is a wonderful idea!  I would wait til your at least 30, 35 would be better.  Kids don't NEED two parents, they just need love and as long as this is what you are commited to and you are having no second thoughts, then I say DO IT!  I am proud of you.  There aren't alot of people who would open their homes to a child they have never met and love them like their own.  If someday you find that right person to spend the rest of your life with - you can decide together if you want to have a child together, raise one child or adopt more.

Answer 27

sure, two parents are better than one...for the parents. two parents means more income, less work lumped on one person, and more help in childrearing. children who feel loved by one parent and a network of family and friends do just fine. besides, what if you got married, had a baby, and your husband died? you wouldn't automatically be a worse mother and your child wouldn't automatically be worse off (obviously he'd be sad about dad, but he wouldn't be a crazy psycho or something because you were a single mom). i think as long as you are financially stable and have a strong network of friends and family who care about the child's welfare, you would be a great single mom. i'm glad you're waiting for a few more years.

i am a sociology student conducting an anonymous study on relationships. visit: http://geocities.com/sbiv37/marr

Answer 28

I am a firm believer that children benefit from having two loving parents, however, I also believe that children of single parents do not necessarily suffer.  My husband is a police officer.  We go into every day knowing that there is a chance that he might not make it home.  Do I think my son would be worse off without a father if that would happen?  No, I believe that a child who is loved and has a stable family life will prosper regardless of whether he/she has one parent or two.  

Good luck to you.

Answer 29

I think that it is a wonderful thing for someone to adopt a child. There are so many children in foster homes across the country and the world. I believe a responsible adult would be more than fit to adopt a child and raise them. I say go for it! Give a kid a loving home and a good life!

Answer 30

Children have a lot more to gain by having both a mother and a father. I think it would be terribly difficult to raise a child alone and I don't think your chances would be good alone. I know L*****n couples who would be great parents and are social workers and they can't get a child.

Answer 31

I think adoptees should be placed with 2-parent families if at all possible.  Children benefit greatly from having both a mother and father in their lives.