What do you think about these poems?

Question

I need you

By: Pepsi Man

i need you

i swear its true

ever since that day

i dream about you everyday

i have you on my mind

and i wish you were all mine

your smile drives me crazy

its makes me think of daises

the sparkel of yours eyes

it makes me feel like the sky

your beauty overall leaves me in awe

i swear you have no flaws

i hope you see

how much i need

to be with you

til we say adieu

Just When

By: Pepsi Man

Just when i think i have all the answers you change the questions

to leave me alone in depression

just when i have gained confidence in myself to be with you

you do things to make me blue

just when i realized you're the one for me

you just let me be

just remember you will always be in my heart

even if you depart

Just When V.2

By: Pepsi Man

Just when i think i have all the answers you change the questions

and go get yourself a boyfriend

and leave me in depression

i just dont aprehend

i see you and him together

i wish it was me

you leave me at the end of my tether

you make me feel like a nobody

but you'll always be in my heart

i will always be your friend

even if you depart

til the very end.

give me your opnions and how i can improve them

Answer 1

Cliche'.....

EDIT: ok I was a bit vague sorry....um just try and use more metaphors throughout the poem and try and keep the readers guessing more then you have now...if you get me.

It's a good start, so keep writing and expressing your self!!

Answer 2

his right, read this.

My thoughts like vultures circle the remains of your memory

The prey is my love for you, why it does not die I do not know

My heart betrays me, but I can not betray my heart.

Dreams can’t be reasoned with; the past can not be swept under the carpet

The mere mention of your name rips the mask of indifference from my face.