What do you think about this poem? Please I need opinions...

Question

If you hate it please tell me why

If you like it please feel free to explain why

I built my house upon the sand

I built my house upon the sand on the beach shore

I couldn’t see ahead to the fate that becomes poor

I couldn’t see the waves crashing down

I put my fate in the hands of the untrustworthy

But I couldn’t see it would be the hands

By which I would drown

I built my house upon the sand

I built my house out of this sand

This pure white sand

The sound of the devils advocates

Whispering in my ear

There is nothing to fear

The ocean is a controllable beast

Upon your house it shall not feast

They were liars

But that I could not see

I was blinded by ignorance

Blinded by what I thought should be

As the water now fills my lungs

My warning to you is

Only this

Do not build house upon the sand

Build it upon the stone

On which generations had stood

Build it upon the stone

That could

Never move

It is your corner stone

It is your only hope

Answer 1

This desperately needs editing....for example the poem could begin at line following ...By which I would drown

and nothing would be missed.

Another slight carp - even I, a non-religious person, know the tale of the foolish man who built his house upon the sand, and the wise man who built his house upon a rock....so this isn't very original.

Sorry for being so harsh, but you did ask for honesty.

ps - There is a lot to be pleased about in this, it isn't all bad by any means

From I built my house upon the sand ---until----the end - it is fine.