Question:

What do you think about this poem and what does it need?

by  |  earlier

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What if I just stopped, quit, ceased to be the person that I really am, would anybody care or even give a d**n, I try to be me as much as I can, but what does that get me, but a fist fight with my best friend. When im me im called worthless as a blank tome, I suppose that's why I got kicked out of my home. But is being me really this bad, I don't think it is, at least im no fad. But to them im nothing but a pesky moth, im standing on the edge and thinking of jumping off. If I took that final leap would it matter, or would I be just another splatter. I now hear a voice from behind; it tells me how im important, how im kind, my life now becomes a tug a war of the good and bad, should I jump, I make them happy, but also sad. I can't make up my mind, is it really worth it, or am I wasting my time, I hear the voices that love me stronger then ever, don't do this your too smart your too clever, is it too late to turn around, or will I have to fall to the ground, I turn around slowly and walk away, as that big bridge moves and sways, my loved ones embrace me and say I matter, they said that I would not be just another splatter!

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4 ANSWERS


  1. what poem? i see an over long boring paragraph, but not a poem in sight.


  2. I think that this is a really really good poem. It rhymes tells and tells a story, but that one person did comment on only seeing a overly long paragraph, so if you submit it into anything else, use proper formating, and make it into a lenghtier but skinnier poem, with breaks in between.

  3. The poem doesn't need anything BUT YOU DO.......you need serious help if these are the thoughts running through your head right now or whenever you wrote this.  Why did you create this poem to start with?  Please don't continue to dwell on negative thoughts like these.......I'm sure your life is important and that there are people who love and need you.  Talk to someone.....a pastor.......a close friend.......... Let your next poem be about your love of life and your will to face its challenges head on no matter what!

  4. I think it's awesome like it is. You are very talented!

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