What do you think about this poem....?

Question

I wrote it a few months ago.....

I'm 14....

What do you think?

---------------

Crystal blue

Shine in the light

If only you knew

Of the terrible fight

Surface, they smile

With gray all around

No dreams in trial

Life not to be found

Staring straight

Back into your eyes

Her dark fate

Your mind denies

Appearance is good

Pretty too

But nothing that stood

If only you knew

Eyes that seek

Deeper than sight

They aren’t weak

They’ll give you a fight

Look into the blue

You cannot see

The burn, the flu

That intoxicates me

So take another glance

Its past overdue

Her eyes wont dance

If only you knew

Answer 1

With all due respect perhaps you shoud re-phrase the question:

"I'm 14, I wrote this poem a few months ago.  What do you think of  it?"

Answer 2

very nice !

Answer 3

Wow,

that's really good - and deep.

and you're only 14.

Well keep up the good work!

Answer 4

Wow....

You are very good...

You have this supernatural view of the world; I can feel it.

It gives you the light and the power to create real beauty.

E-mail me when you publish, and I'll definitely buy your book! =o)

Answer 5

my only problem with this superb poem is lack of compelling words  brush up on vocab it could be better very good though