What do you think about this....???

Question

My normal work schedule is M-F but next weekend I have to work on a Saturday. As soon as I found out about this I asked my dad if could watch my 2 year old son that day for me. He said ok so I thought things were taken care of. Last night he told me that weekend they are going to see my brother who is in prision about 6 hours away. They offered to just take him w/ them but that would be from Fri night to Mon sometime. I have 2 issues with this 1 - I don't know if I feel comfortable with my son going to a prision. He seems to young & I don't know if that something I want my son exposed to and 2 - he is going to be 6 hrs away for 3 days. He has never been that far away from me what is something happens?

Would you let you child go? I'm thinking about finding other child care for that day but I don't want to upset my dad its nothing against him. I know my brother has never seen my son but its not my fault he chose to get put in jail you know?

What are your thoughts on this???

Answer 1

I would have to say find another sitter.  A jail is not an appropriate setting for a 2 year old.  Not to mention, there may be rules prohibiting him from seeing his uncle anyway.  Plus, if your son isn't used to being away from you and with that amount of distance, I would personally be very uncomfortable with the whole situation.  Why would it make your dad feel bad?  You didn't ask him to take your son for the whole weekend, only one day.  He changed his plans and thus you have the option to change yours.

Answer 2

I wouldn't do it, but it will prolly cause them to have hard feelings, if they are ultra sensitive. I think it is interesting your dad chose to go that weekend he is watching your child, after the fact.

I'm also thinking how this will be your two-year-old's first memory of what it's like to be away from you for three days. If everything about it is dreary and annoying to him, he will dread any other separations.

Answer 3

Well...I think that u shouldn't let your child go to prison for whole weekend...Just find some childcare for that day and when u think he is ready to meet his uncle (ur bro) u should take him there, not your father or anybody else...

Answer 4

You know, I don't actually think a two year old will have any idea where he is. All he will know is that he is going somewhwere with his grandparents to visit someone. It's not like he will be hanging out with hard core criminals for the weekend.

I do understand your concern about the 3 day thing though! When I think back to my little boy at 2, he couldn't go for that long without mummy. You need to do what you think is right for you and your son and your dad will need to understand that as the parent, it is your decision. I he does suddenly secide he wants mummy, 6 hours is a long time to be stuck with a 2 year olds tantrum while they get home!! You are the mum, it is your decision!!

Answer 5

If it was for one day I would say let the baby go with your father so your brother can see him. But 3 days is a long time! And how is your dad going to handle the baby while he is driving? I think babies should be with their moms.

Answer 6

I do not think it would harm him at age 2 to visit a prison, he is too young to understand what he is looking at. I would rather have my 2 year old visiting a prions than my 5 year old. However, if you are not comfortable with this trip then say NO. This is your child and it is your right to make these decisions. I would not like my 2 year old that far away from me for that long either. The fact that your brother has not seen the child really has no bearing on this, I agree with you when you say that it is his fault for being where he is.

Just tell your father that you are not ready to have your son so far away, find another person to keep him that day and be confident in your decision making.

Answer 7

If you don't feel comfortable with the situation and have another option, take it.  Tell your dad that YOU'RE not ready to be away from your son for 3 days.  

On the other hand, is your dad a responsible man who would take charge if something happened?  I'm assuming since he had a hand in raising you, he's not totally clueless!  As far as the prison thing goes, your son is 2.  He has no idea what a prison is or that his uncle is incarcerated.  More than that, he probably won't even remember going there after a few days! Do you remember places you went when you were 2?  I don't.  The bottom line is YOU are his mother and you have the final say.  If you don't feel right about it, don't do it.  Just reassure your dad that it has nothing to do with him.

Answer 8

NO i would not let my child go. you are right to not want him in that situation. tell your dad that he (your son) has never been away from you and you do not think that you could survive him being away for 3 whole days!! dont even bring up the prison thing or that its not your fault your brother did what he did, it would start family drama. i would just find another baby sitter. and tell your dad thank you for offering to take your son but you just stay away from him for 3 days. good luck

Answer 9

Ok. If he is desperately wanting to go, think about it and maybe, let him go. He needs to see your brother eventually. Even though he may not understand the prison thing, let him go out and discover things. Let him be with your brother.

Answer 10

I would never allow my child to be exposed to prison visitations.

Find someone else. I know it sucks, but you are protecting your child!

Answer 11

Explain to your father your position, have him understand that it is nothing on his part. I think if you (as a mother) have that gut feeling that you shouldn't let him go, than maybe it wouldn't be wise to ignore.

There can be other opportunities when your child is older to meet his uncle. Or to let grandpa babysit him...but this time may not be good.

Answer 12

No way.  If they were taking him to Disneyland, it's one thing, but a prison?  I urge you to find an alternate or just tell your boss you cannot go that day.

Have fun

Answer 13

You're absolutely right!  Probably nothing would happen - but it would be really stressful for your son.  The first time gone that long, a prison doesn't exactly have parks and anything fun for him and then meeting someone he's never met in such a setting... he won't understand, plus a long car ride???

I would look for something else.

It's sad your parents won't honor their first committment and see your brother the next weekend.

Answer 14

your son is 2 he will only know he is with grandpa   enjoy and relax with the time you 2 are apart  grandma had a saying beggers cant be choosy  so be glad you have the free daycare  and if it truly bothers you pay for a sitter

Answer 15

I would say absolutely not..for one your child doesn't need to be exposed to a prison...and for two I wouldn't be able to stand being away from my baby for 3 days...Definately find other child care..and if your brother wants to see your son..send a picture!

Answer 16

Well, the experience could frighten him or be an example on why to never be bad. I personally wouldn't want my child in a  dangerous prison. You always hear about prisoners stabbing guards etc.

I would say NO!

Answer 17

Cut the apron strings and trust your parents.  Sheesh.

Answer 18

YOU are the mother.  If YOU are not comfortable with YOUR child going, then don't allow him to.  

As a mother, follow your instincts or you will live with regrets.  

Not to offend, just giving my advice.

Answer 19

you seem like a sweet and great mother and you are correct NO WAY dont let you son go to prison and it is okay to tell your dad just tell him to the 2 reasons you told us. he should understand. GOOD LUCk and i hope i helped. and dont let him go plesae =]

Answer 20

i used to work in a prison and the visitiing rooms are not bad.  

they say that only 20% of criminals are in prison.  So basically, you expose your child to potentially dangerous people everyday who are not in jail.  the prisoners are not allowed to carry babies or touch them.  your brother might be able to give the baby a hug goodbye and hello but thats it.  the rest of the time grandma or grandpa will carry him. other prisoners are not allowed contact with other peoples visitors. they have really tight security so i would say your son is safer there then in the streets.  

this is your decision to make, i just wanted to give you a little prison education.

Answer 21

1. your son is not really going to remember this event.

2. I am sure your brother would love to see your son.

3. I am possitive your father would not suggest it if he feel that he was putting your son in danger.

4. It would help your son and yourself with any future seperation distress.

5. You will have the weekend to yourself (peace and quite)

6. They can call you on the phone.

7. Its only 6 hours away, flights trains etc you can be there if needed.

8. Yeah I would let me little boy go and he is also 2.

9. Sat child care costs a small fortune.

10. He will be safe in the prison there a guards.

11. Its not your fault your bro is in jail but does he not desrve the support of your family?

12. Let us know how you get on and if he does go, enjoy the time to yourself!

Answer 22

In my opinion, i think you should let your dad take him with him. You cant hind your son from all the bad things in the world forever. But, you can teach him about them, and tell him what happens when grown ups do something against the law. Wouldn't you rather have your family with him, during this kind of adventure. My dad is a cop, and he let my brother and I take a tour of the jail when we were younger and i will never forget that experience. It actually opened up my eyes to the real world.

On the other subject about being away from your son for three days. You might want to start some time. AS your son gets older down the line, he is going to be going out on his own. What if you aren't used to it at all and end up being an over protective mother? I'm not trying to be harsh or anything like that but just think about it. Plus, he will be with your dad. What better person is there to start with than Grandpa!!! I hope this helps you a little bit. Good luck!

Answer 23

no way

Answer 24

follow your instincts, if you child has not been away from you for that long, maybe you are not ready, at his age, I doubt very much he will know or remember where he is, and if you trust your parents thats ok, but if you would rather not, just tell your dad you are not ready for him to be away from you that long of a time, so no feelings are hurt.