What do you think about this short poem i wrote?

Question

d**n I really wanna be with you and only you boo, you had me from the day i met you and i don't want anything to come between us . I could take u in my arms and never let go. I would do absolutely anything for you. I don't ever wanna let you go therefore i can never let u know.

Answer 1

You have good material , but you wrote it out as a note and not a poem . Could be made into a pretty good one . Work on it and you will get there . Girls reallydo get into poetry , they believe it shows your sensitive side

Answer 2

keep working on it...

Answer 3

Your writing prose. You should rewrite it into a poem format, into stanzas. Not starting every line with 'I', or using  netspeak,  would sound better. Keep on improving and cheers!

Answer 4

Not much.

Answer 5

sounds like song

Answer 6

It sounds like a rap song...

Answer 7

Your poem really sucks,

But don't be disheartened,

A little nip and tuck,

You may still get a f***!

Not terrible, yet not too poetic (at least its better than mine).

I like the line; I could take you in my arms and never let you go.

It has a nice poetic ring.

A little more work I'd say.