What do you think is beneath her quiet exterior?

Question

You teach with a shy, soft-spoken young woman. She's very sweet, but doesn't open up to others easily. Today you found out that in her past, she was told that she'd never make it as a teacher. All of her evaluations for the past few years have been excellent, the students respond well to her, and she is one of the most diligent and well-prepared teachers you've known. She doesn't seem to take compliments easily though.

What conclusions would you make about her? What do you think is beneath her quiet exterior?

Answer 1

Beneath the exterior is an intellingent, deep thinking, observing, guarded person who is also a great listener.

Answer 2

serial killer waiting to get out?

Answer 3

First, I believe we (all 6.6 billion of us) have an exterior ... be it quiet or ostentious.  With that said, it's extremely difficult to project what may lie -or lurk- beneath an exterior without making generalizations based on scant information that, in essence, is generalized in itself.

But, m*******t that I am (can you imagine the generalizations that will erupt from just that term!), I'm going to give this a shot.

(1) Clues: female, shy, soft-spoken, taciturn, competent, diligent, likable, humble, teacher.

(2) Mitigating event: told she'd never be a teacher.

The easy, knee-jerk response would seem to be that beneath this quiet exterior is an A-type, driven, over-compensating, I'll prove you wrong, personality that wants to rule while doing battle with the shy, reserved personna that's projected to the world.

Although that is arguable and, of course, worthy of engaging a discussion, I'm thinking otherwise.

I believe beneath this quiet exterior is a dynamic -and yes, complicated- woman who is not allowing herself the full reign of her competencies, passions, and sense-of-self.

I believe the past criticism of being told she'd never make it as a teacher had some possible influence on her career choice to be a teacher, but not enough so, that the event itself (the criticism) prevented her from enjoying some other career in order to prove someone wrong.  In essence, this shy, quiet woman was either aspiring to be a teacher, student-teaching, or just beginning her teaching career.

Criticism can certainly be a catalyst for all types of responses and ensuing behaviors, however, in my view, it's not a motivational force that drives selection of friends, careers, etc.  As such, the quiet exterior is not a shell built around a critical remark.

Instead, the quiet exterior is a safety-valve for more deep-seated unresolved issues ... and those issues can be labeled as either good or bad depending on your own perspective of life.  To me, I'm simply asserting there are unresolved issue beneath the quiet exterior and it's those issues -and not a past criticism about her abilities- that built the insulating qualities of this exterior.

So as not to drone on, I believe this shy, soft-spoken woman is -and will remain- an exemplary teacher with the quiet exterior as long as she's comfortable and feels safe with it defining who she is to the world.  At the same time, there may be a single experience, or series of experiences that prompt her to taken a closer look at those unresolved issues and, quite possibly, choose to resolve them.  

At this point, the shy soft-spoken teacher does not suddenly become a gregarious, shouting, rebel rouser, but does begin to see herself differently ... as she always wanted to but, until then, couldn't.