What do you think is the best discipline or punishment when dealing with a defiant almost 12 yr' old?

Question

He is a boy, also is very "mouthy", won't do as he's "asked" without an all-out war!!

Answer 1

My Dad was an old WW2 Marine. Whenever I got out of line, he made me mow, pull weeds, shovel, do whatever for several elderly neighbors. And of coarse. wouldn't allow them them to give me a penny. And, hey, I'm still alive and well, 40 years later.

Answer 2

take away electronics.

for a week.

and DO NOT give in!!

Answer 3

when you give out a punishment stick to it. DO NOT CAVE.  When you ask him to do something and he starts warring with you take something away, his computer, ipod, whatever and keep it away until he smartens up.

Answer 4

A good spanking!

Answer 5

talk to him, like a conversation - one on one, find out why he's so angry, or mouthy - tell him you need help, and you would really like for him to work with you - good luck, I know it's hard!! ♥

Answer 6

well did you ever try hitting him. Get his attention with a nice crack.  My dad hit me when I was younger and it got my attention real fast!

Answer 7

A swift smack on the bottom should work.

Answer 8

I agree with some of the other writers, children this age tend to be very socila, if your son is really into a sport  (baseball,football, hockey) then remove him from the team until he can learn to behave like a gentleman, he can also take away his wii, or playstation if he has one.

I tend to find that when you remove an item or take away a privilage, this age group tend to respond more, and by the way congrats on seeing that he needs some help, so many parents deny that their children need help because I think they see it as a personal failure.. when it's not.

good luck

XO

Answer 9

SPANKING

Answer 10

a hole is to dig...literally..Make him dig a 3x3x3 foot hole in the back yard and fill it in again. If he won't, don't feed him. Make sure he has water and a snack while he is working though.  Take his door, his bed, all his toys, his shoes,  and if he thinks about bolting tell him you will call the police and he will be arrested as a runaway.  Then DO it if he does.  He won't run very far without money or shoes. Probably to his best friends house, have him picked up and put in Juvie over night.  

That should cure the mouth.

Answer 11

Ground him. No friends no TV ,No computer, etc.....

Answer 12

YOUR GONNA HAVE TO PUT HANDS ON HIM SO HE WILL NO WHOS BOSS AND KNOW U ARENT PLAYIN IT WORKS FOR ME ALL THE TIME HIT HIM SO HARD HE'LL KNOW YOURE NOT PLAYIN

Answer 13

Tell him you mean business. If he doesn't listen, ***** slap that ho.

Answer 14

he is a kid after all. jst try and make sure he understands ur boss. screaming won't help and neither will grounding him. if he is already acting up and is not even 12 there could be a problem and if he believes that ur mission is to punish and chastise him it will only make matters worse. of course u can't allow him to walk all over u either. try and meet them in the middle. first off u should rlly try talking to him. there must be a reason why he's acting this way. myabe u can help him. if he doesn't wanna talk then just make sure he understands that ur the boss and don't appreciate when he doesn't listen and that u will have to take away priveliges if he rlly continues, but just make sure he knows u will listen to him when hes ready to talk

Answer 15

please do not him! it will not teach him anything..it will only make him become scared of you..and that is not what you want. just keep holding your ground and let him know who's boss without being violent. don't flip out either when you tell him to do things. be calm but still get the point across. that way he won't be defensive but he'll also know he has to listen to you. you can take things away as punishment if he doesn't listen you and eventually he'll most likely get tired of that. it must be frustrating though. good luck!

Answer 16

My parents beat me at a very young age when I misbehaved.  Once I became a teenager, I was trained to never defy my parents.  To this day, at age 25, I respect my parents dearly and can say that I've never raised my hand or said a curse word to my parents.  

I guess what I'm trying to say is that people don't discipline their kids at an early age like they should, i.e. hitting them.  Hitting them when they do something wrong should not be considered "abuse" people!  C'mon....

Answer 17

Sometimes it does feel like war. You are the boss and must win every battle so he knows who's in charge.

Answer 18

I took a very great parenting class. The man who taught the class told us that it is better if you don't waste to much energy. He suggest doing something like this.

Kid: *filthy word*

You: "It really takes the energy out of me when you say things like that. Maybe if you could do something to restore my energy I would feel a lot better about what you just said. Let's start by you cleaning out the garage."

If for some reason, he resist the agreement. Do something like this:

Kid: I really could care less. I'm going out.

You: That's fine. But follow me to your room for a minute. I'm going to remove everything in here that belongs to me, with the exception of the clothes you have on your back. Now if you feel you can look cool, eat, and have a nice bed to sleep on without my help feel free. Other than that you may want to start restoring some of the energy that I've lost from having to walk all the way over here and deal with your insulting behavior.

Answer 19

Sounds like a typical child his age.  You take away privledges that mean the most to him (tv, game system, computer time, phone time.....) for a day or longer depending on the problem.  Make him basically earn the priveldge back.  Take away stuff you know you can take away.  Like if he is in sports you can't really take away the game but if he likes playing games on the computer or PS2 or something you can take that away from him for bad behavior.  You have to find what will bother him the most and follow instict on that because they are smart enough to know what you might try to do so they may say "go ahead I don't care" thinking that you won't take it away then but if they say "but that ain't fair" or something and make a big deal you will think that is more important so really watch for what you can take away for bad behavior and never reward for the bad only the good.  You may find the "Incredible Years" books to be useful as they do cover up to teenage years and problems just like you are having.

Answer 20

Have you tried taking away things he likes if he doesn't listen to you?  I think that if he has a t.v., videogames, phone, and things like that, he will respond if you take them away. I'm not talking about just until his chores are done, but for like a day because then he will see that his acting up has real consequences. once he has learned that he has  to listen to you, then you can give his privilages back after his chores and your requests are met. If you have tried that,  then try grounding him for a week. It may sound like harsh punishment, but I figure, he's going to be a teenager soon, and if he wont listen to his own mother, then he won't listen to anyone else, and he'll end up in real trouble.

Answer 21

maybe take away his favorite possessions till he gets the point or earns them back

Answer 22

You have to take away things that he loves.......and the biggest thing is that you have to be consistent and do what you say you're gonna do. Do not back down or feel sorry for him. Do not argue with him or yell at him. Be calm.

Answer 23

Be sure you are not responding rudely back first of all. Take away his video games first.  Or anything else that he truly values. Be sure you are clear when you are telling him ahead of time what the punishment will be if the behaviour continues, and then make sure you follow through - EVERY TIME.  Once he knows you mean business, he will comply with your rules and behaviour expectations.  Make sure he also understands you love him and remember that that is a difficult age and if you are loving and consistent it will get better

Answer 24

hello! Im 14 years old and i have to admit two years

ago when going through puberty I got pretty cranky and

mouthy . My mom got very mad and took away the

computer for two weeks with no friends

and didnt let me go to my favorite thing ever

guitar lessons . does he play sports ? dont let him

go for like two practices :) I hope i helped!