What do you think is wrong with my brother?

Question

I have a brother who is 2 years older than me. He stopped speaking to me when he went through puberty about 17 years ago. He became extremely introverted and isolated at this time. We grew up in the same house, our parents are still married, and had a normal childhood (no abuse that I'm aware of). I am now 28 and he is 30 and we never speak. He comes to family gatherings, but rarely talks to anyone. When someone asks him a question he grunts or gives a one word answer. He is extremely unfriendly and acts uncomfortable around us. My family has never seemed too concerned about his behavior.They say, "Oh that's just the way he is."

He has been married twice, has a daughter and appears to have a normal social life. Over the years I've had people come up to me and tell me how funny and charming my brother is. He has a side that he never shows to family. His new wife recently told me that he doesn't talk that much to her either. The only time he really talks is when he has a few beers in him.

Do you think he has some kind of social anxiety or disorder? He has a lot of friends, so that makes me think that's not what it is. He just hates his family for no apparent reason.

Answer 1

It seems like he could be suffering from depression or a drug and alcohol problem. He might resent your family for some reason.  

Answer 2

He could be a weekend alcoholic, but yes, he has the symptoms of an anxiety disorder.  

Answer 3

I'm much the same way with my family... I feel very uncomfortable around them, and don't talk much when I'm with them. I have always been shy around people esp. my family. This does NOT mean that I don't love them - they just weren't very good at teaching me to communicate. I have always had social anxiety.

He might have issues with the family that you don't know about; but you have to recognize that its HIS problem, not yours.

Answer 4

Sounds to me like he just doesnt like his family, which is pretty common.

Answer 5

to be honest it just seems like he doesn't like his family but i don't see a reason as to why

Answer 6

Well Maybe you should ask him to go in another room with you privately so u 2 can speak 2 each other without other people bugging u. ask him what is wrong and ask if there is anything u can do.

Answer 7

he sounds like he is a perfect candidate for being bipolar my son acts the same way the only time he talks is when he drinks but at their age it is hard to get them to take medicine for it so enjoy what conversation you do get maybe he will see the problem and go get help my daughter did and she did good for a while then she decided she didn't need the med and now does drugs to get buy

Answer 8

It sounds like he has a social phobia or he could be an extreme introvert. Maybe he has a longstanding grudge against the family. Is he able to hold down a job? Your family should have gotten him into therapy when he was a teen. Now it is his wife's problem.

Answer 9

Mybe he just doesnt like his family like a lot of other people, i know my sister is sometimes like that.

Answer 10

he is obviously not in his own skin with family and friends.. maybe you and immediate family need to make an intervention of some kind and ask him why?

maybe something happened to him and blames his family, and he doesn't want to talk about it, and is holding a grudge