What do you think of a wife not being on her husbands bank account?

Question

This couple has been married since December. She has no bank account of her own. She is a SAHM, they have two young children. He has not put her name on his bank account. He says he just keeps forgetting to add her name.

Answer 1

F*@# that! A marriage is 50/50 INCLUDING the money/bank account.  

Answer 2

She is a fool and he has reasons for not adding her. Maybe is is the CONTROL???????????????

Answer 3

I applaud Stay At Home Mom's as they are making a huge contribution to the lives of their children.  In addition I believe that it can be just as demanding, mentally & physically, as going to a "paying job".  So the question that the SAHM should be asking herself and her spouse is: How much am I worth?  In our hearts we know that we are all invaluable, irreplaceable and priceless.  The fact that her monetary needs are not being satisfactorily taken care of suggests that either she or her spouse (or probably both) have forgotten how important she is to her children, her family and probably her community.  If she addresses the situation with her spouse from this perspective, she will be coming from a place of self-confidence, power and logic rather than hurt & anger.  If her spouse does not trust her enough to add her to his bank account there are most likely many other unknown issues that will need to be cleared up first.  (This also begs the question of why they got married in the first place)

Compromises can be made like setting up her own account with an automatic withdrawal from his account to hers on a weekly/bi-weekly basis.  To be able access ones' own funds to do whatever you like with is liberating vs having to "beg" your spouse for your weekly allowance and will do a considerable amount for her self-esteem.

Answer 4

My parents were like that but my mom worked. My dad paid the major bills and my mom was responsible for groceries and daycare. I don't agree with it. I think marriage should be joint in everything, including money. If he can't share his account, maybe he has something to hide!

Answer 5

Well maybe he works M-F like most people (bank hours). I work M-F and never make it to the bank, in fact i have had an account i have been meaning to close for like a year that only has fifteen cents in it and i can't manage to make it there. ....thanks for reminding me, maybe i will try for tomorrow. lol

Answer 6

Married people should keep separate bank accounts. There is no need to have a joint account. it is easier to keep track of things, and easier to use if each one has their own account.  

Answer 7

She should get a job, get her own bank account, and start saving!  

Answer 8

Why doesn't she have her own bank account?

Since she doesn't have her own that kind of sucks.  But since he is likely working during bank hours it can sort of be a pain to get over there and get it taken care of.  I have been married for almost a year and still haven't put my husband on my account (we are using it as our "joint" account to pay bills since my bank is closer).  We just haven't gotten around to it.

If the husband's bank is open on Saturdays (the wife could call to double check) she should suggest they go and get it taken care of this Saturday.  That will be the best way to motivate him to get it done, having her go with him.  She will probably need to be there anyway.

Answer 9

I've been divorced before. Separate accounts are the only way to go. I had shared my account and big trouble started. Bounced checks etc. If shared money is the problem then; He can give her money to put in her own account.She can save or spend according to her money in her account. I had the same trouble with charge cards. Money is the # 1 cause of divorce next to cheating. Please don't push for a joint account. If you want money get a job and have your own. Sounds like a man, I am. Having children and working starts another problem. Child care. Lets just say if the marriage is working the shared account is the least of their problems.  

Answer 10

I am not on my husbands other than POD and he isn't on mine other than POD.. we chose to have it that way and it works great for us.  Sounds like the couple need to make time to go to the bank and put her name on .. she has to sign a signature card anyway and banks are open on Saturdays

Answer 11

Its a trust issue.  Since she doesn't have a bank account, she may be bad at saving money, or likes to spend it.  And he doesn't want her name on it because he is afriad she will start spending his money.  Yes, they are married, but I see it as the guy is trying to save for the future, and doesn't want to let his wife use his money...

Maybe Im right, maybe not.  If not, then he might just like saving seperate and not mixing money up.

Answer 12

It's no big deal.  My husband and I have seperate accounts and it works out great with us.  Tell her to get her own bank account and be a big girl.

Answer 13

New laws prohibit him just putting her name on his account.  She must go with him.  

Answer 14

Sounds shady to me... How does she go shopping? An allowance? Does he go grocery shopping and what not with her? I couldn't live like that...

Answer 15

One sided but that just me. Being married I think is a union.

Answer 16

We have a joint account for marital stuff and he keeps his money in a separate account of which I have no access...my husband is greedy.  I have a job and do not ask him for anything...

Answer 17

Oh well she is definetelly one of thoose less Independent d**n  I would want to be married to her !

Well her husband is a lucky b*****d such Ideals are rare in our world The normal situation would be a fight lon long ago Women are materialist !

I hope Im gonna get married to sucha girl that will depend on what is given to her and not like it ussually happen that I have to share an account with one !

d**n ******* LUCKY b*****d I REALLY DO ENVY HIM !

I thought such wifes existed only in Anime !

Answer 18

My name isn't on my husbands acct but that doesn't stop me from writing a check if I need one. In other words what difference does it make as long as you have access to the money? If he is totally controlling the funds then there is a problem if he isn't then what ever works in a relationship is their business

Answer 19

He may be the smartest guy in the world.

All wives do is spend, spend, spend.................

Answer 20

she is not FOOLISH!

she,unconsciously  has been doing the right thing.

to be independent and to make sure you are not depending on a man to do things for you,you need to have your own bank account. yes maybe its a good idea for them to be on one together but she needs to have one on her own.she should not stress over the fact that he hasnt put her on it,its for her own good! with her own bank account she does not have to answer to him when she withdrawls money,deposits money,etc. it also helps if a marriage goes down hill and leads to divorce,no hassle in switching names. there is only benefits (:

Answer 21

Tell her to keep asking for one, seems to me like he doesn't want her to get involved with the money, sad.

Answer 22

I agree with The Baker Man. If she wants, she can open her own bank account and he can give her money to put in it. But if she doesn't work and just stays home all day, why should she have free reign over his money? Maybe he's been burned in the past and is being careful. Maybe she's proved she's not responsible with money. Maybe they're on a budget and he doesn't want her spending everything. A lot of women go to stores like Walmart and just mindlessly buy a bunch of stuff because they're bored. A lot of times with joint bank accounts it's really hard to keep track of who is spending what. If he makes the money then he should do with it as he pleases (within reason of course)

That being said, she needs to think of her own future. Unless the kids are babies there's no reason she can't have at least a part time job so she can make her own money. If her name isn't on the bank account it's probably not on anything else either.  

Answer 23

She needs to call the bank and ask them to mail a form to their home that he can sign to add her to the account.  She needs to take some initiative and not depend on him to take care of everything for her.  

Answer 24

We'd meet for lunch one day, go to the bank, and have it taken care of. Personally, I won't have a joint account with anyone again (at least I don't plan to) but in your case, with no income of your own, you should not be left at his mercy to hand you cash when he remembers to.

Make an issue of it...and it seriously wouldn't be a bad idea for you to have some kind of income of your own, and to set aside money for 'emergencies'. Never allow yourself to be totally dependent on someone else.

Answer 25

foolish wife!

Answer 26

I think it's fine. I like to keep money seperate and half everything. It makes everything equal and if your husband wants to give you gifts or buy you things then he does it with his money.

I think if more bank accounts were seperate then the divorce rate would be lower.

It saves you  alot of unnecessary fighting.  

Answer 27

No way how does she do any shopping for food and stuff no way. If my husband tried to play me like that I would have to drag him there on his day off. What if she has an emergency.

Answer 28

So she cant spend any money?

Me and my fiancee have a shared account and were 20! Saving money together, and doing bills together is really good!

They have a differant kind of marriage, not equal, what his is not hers.....

Answer 29

Something is shady there.