What do you think of an open adoption?

Question

Open meaning that the birth mother/father are able to keep in full physical/communicative contact with him/her after adoption?

Answer 1

For some people it works. I think it's a great idea if you can detach yourself enough to let your child stay with the family, and not realize that you want to keep your child after it has grown up knowing someone else as their parents.

Answer 2

I think thats abit dicey, what if they want the child back after a couple of years!

Answer 3

well in my opinion if the parents are safe & available, that is the ONLY way to adopt!

safe: not a threat to the child.

available: alive & wanting to have communication.

adopters that decide to close for selfish reasons are sick!!

Answer 4

Thats really gonna *** with the kids mind!

Answer 5

it would be better neater my brother or i knew what our parents who/are.

Answer 6

For some families it works. It depends on what the adoptive parents are willing to do.

Answer 7

I think that might be okay as long as birth parents are being called by there names and not told that is who they are until a time when the child can accept that. I am not saying not to let the child know they are adopted but not let them know who biological parents are until later in life.

Answer 8

its okay for some people that can handle it.  I couldn't when i gave my daughter up for adoption.  I had the option of an open adoption and i chose a closed one because i thought to myself what if i go to see her and don't wanna leave because i would be leaving a piece of me behind. I felt that in order for my daughter to get the stability she needed i couldn't be in the picture i thought i would just hinder her emotional developement.  Even though my daughter was born on my birthday i don't regret my decision and i do know who she is with i just don't know where and i don't care to know right now.  I know that seems cruel and heartless but its not, i just want whats best for her and if that means me not being able to see her then so be it, there will come a time when i do get a chance to see her.

Answer 9

I was adopted by my aunt at birth.   I found out that i was adopted when i was 5.  I Have always had full open contact with my birth-mom.  Unfortunately i do not know my father and have never met him.  So I know how it feels from both sides.  Trust me, the open relationship is so much better.  I don't resent her at all.  If she had been selfish and kept me i would not have had all the wonderful opportunities that i have gotten to experience.  I know it was hard on my mom because i always had questions.  But i think it was worth it.

Answer 10

I think they are the best way to do adoption.  There are not any questions (that can not be answered) and it is obvious that everyone's needs are being met.  Surely the relationship will have to evolve and open communciation would be paramount as the child and family grew side-by-side...but if everyone is mature enough to handle this, I see it as an ideal scenario.

Answer 11

I think it's a nice idea but one that would be hard to put into practice.  My dad's job took us all over the country and we moved every couple of years.  If there had been some restriction that neither our family nor the birth family could ever leave town because it would interfere with visitation, it would have been a big problem.  Phone calls and letters, no problem-----full physical visitation, no can do.

My problem is that the birth family signed away their parental rights.  If there was a rule that they had to be allowed to be involved with everything, it could interfere with the AP's ability to raise the child.  It's also possible that the AP and birth parents just won't get along.  Remember when you were a kid and your parents made you invite the neighbor girl you really didn't like to your birthday party?  Now imagine being forced to invite birth parents you don't care for to your Christmas dinner each year.

Open adoptions, yes but boundaries need to be set.

Answer 12

i think it is best for the child involved. they need to know they're medical history and other things do come up. you want the best for the child and unless they are on drugs or have a negative influence they need to be there too.

Answer 13

if both sets of parents agree it would be wonderful....But i don't know how the kid would feel knowing that his mom gave /her away

Answer 14

In most states it is up to the adoptive parents.  The biological parents have absolutely no legal say whatsoever once they relinquish their rights.

There are many, many cases of adoptive parents closing adoptions against the wishes of the bioparents.

You would need to know the actual laws of the state in which the adoption is being handled to find out if an open adoption is really truly open.